Go back to sleep, or maybe do some blogging...

Well the past few weeks has been a rollercoaster ride to the 25th December! Highlights include: - possibly giving and getting the best office kris kringle presents ever (I don't usually join in as I think it's a bit wasteful, but this year knew exactly what to get the 55+ year old man whose name I drew out of the hat, and he seemed to like what I chose beyond just being polite, and I got some ripper chunky earrings, possibly from India, which will go beautifully with the blue beaded fringe top Seagreen lent me to wear :)
- getting all our gift shopping done weeks ago, planning our food a few weeks back, and buying everything we could then so all we had to do was buy fresh stuff yesterday and last minute things like bread today (pleased as the mercury tips 38 degrees today)
- C-chan's parents arriving from 'delaide with stuff from them and my parents... baby blankets, baby towels, bassinet, sheets etc etc, which they held on to for all these years since I was a bub and are in OK condition!! Bassinet is big enough for baby to sleep in until it starts rolling around too much, so we won't have to get a cot for quite a while.
- Getting lovely cards from people, even though we have been too tired and busy to get many out ourselves in time (oops).

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This morning I was woken from my strange dream* by C-chan flailing his arms about madly trying to swot away mosquitos. Poor thing seems to have a fear of getting bitten (well, more so than the average person, and I suppose I shouldn't judge, as he does tend to get bitten more than me). Once I magically found the insect repellent and made them go away, I realised I was hungry, thirsty, and unable to sleep.

I am sipping on Gastrolyte, as I had gastro this week and lost another 2 kg. Almost slimmer of the month except I don't want to lose weight. Had to go to the Drs for a shot of something to stop me being sick, and took 2 days off work (so much for getting everything done at work). Dr seems to think everything is OK, just need to take it easy and drink lots. Oh, and rebuild my gut flora. My poor stomach has shrunk in capacity, and I desparately want to knock back 600mL or so of water, but I just don't have the room for it.

Must go. Have a wonderful couple of days, wherever you are, whoever you're with...
xxx
meririsa

* involving going to a goth party with a breakdancing half-Japanese friend, and finding a chocolate cake in the fridge with lots of strawberries on it

What!? Oh, it was all a dream...

Had a dream last night that I went into hospital to give birth, and woke up later with a baby. I'd somehow missed the whole labour process. I asked my Mum what went on, and there was some feeble excuse about something happening and me "going out like a light" and, well, here's the baby (which was miraculously already behaving like a 6-month old, and already able to respond to me with monosyllabic words!).

The next question I had for my family around me was do I have a boy or a girl, as my Mum had respected our wishes and kindly dressed the bub in Unisex clothes. They kind of looked at each other, then told me that we didn't know - this one had even the Dr stumped. In the dream, I deduced that the baby was either intergender, or a female with larger than usual genetalia. However, it wasn't that great an issue, as now I had this cute baby to play with and feed, and in my dream I was experimenting with express pumps and showing the baby off to work collegues (not at the same time). Of course, everyone was asking whether it was a boy or girl, and I said we didn't know yet, and we didn't have a name for it either.

How interesting. I think this was my subconscious playing "what if..." with me. I have the 18-19 week ultrasound coming up in a few weeks, and we might be able to find out the gender of the child - I wasn't sure I wanted/needed to know, but after having that dream I suddenly want to know!!

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This morning is a cool, breezy respite from the hot mugginess we've had for the past couple of days. Might cool down the hot-heads organising riots around the country (it's spread to Melbourne now, with a couple of Santa's getting bashed up on Lygon St). The great thing about this weather is you can wash all your bedding and get it all dry in a couple of hours - not an easy thing for someone who has no back yard, let alone Hills hoist, and has philosophical objections to using the clothes dryer that came with the flat (not to mention a summer aversion the extra heat it generates).

At this time of the week (before 7am Sundays) Newtown is at its quietest. A similar kind of not-a-soul-to-be-found eerieness that was on the streets just before the Olympic opening ceremony. What am I doing up? Well at present I'm a timezone freakozoid, crashing on the couch soon after 8:30pm and waking up with the sun between 5 and 6am. Can't help it - might as well get up and get stuff done. I'm so behind on my xmas cards this year, that I'm going to resort on some last minute xmas emails, that will take more time than sending cards, but will at least reach people in time. Or maybe I'll just send late cards and hope people don't feel unloved in between xmas day and when the cards finally arrive? At least we have made, painted and erected our cardboard xmas tree! It slots together and is sitting on our coffee table. With luck, we'll be able to dissemble it without wrecking it, and store it flat for next year!

but this makes me sick...

This article in the SMH summed up what I suspected was happening... I never hear this radio show, but saw the same DJ on the television with a slightly toned down version of him making a gang issue into a racial one in the middle of last week. I would call for a boycott of his shows, but suspect my readers avoid him like the plague anyway...

Gooooooooooooodbye Norshia!!! (i hope...)

Fingers, arms, and toes crossed, it seems my nausea has gone for the time being. Really seems I need to listen to my grandma and stereotypical old men when they tell me to take it easy in "my condition". Whenever I have gone swimming in the evening, or just done too much (late night, over exerted self), I have been ill the next day - sometimes for the whole day. That seems to have eased somewhat now, thank goodness. No sickness for over 10 days.

Weighed self at the gym the other week. Contrary to what I thought would happen, I have lost weight (about 1kg) compared with 2-3 months ago. Looked up "weight loss" in "What to expect when you're expecting" (published by Angus&Robertson in Australia) and read in the index the following:

See also: eating disorders

I mean, really!! They know how to temporarily alarm a girl!! I know my weight loss is probably because I have been eating a little less than usual (which is usually lots), and more importantly, my exercise routine has fallen to the side due to excessive tiredness, so it is likely to be a little muscle loss and also a bit of excess fat loss. I doubt this will keep happening, especially now my appetite is more healthy.

After a hiatus in dreaming, I have been having wierd-ass dreams. In one dream the other night, I had a small octopus lodge itself in my bikini top when swimming in the ocean. Caused a big drama (in the dream, I mean...,), I assure you!

A rainy holiday and other adventures...

We took a long weekend on the weekend. Went up to the Hunter Valley to see what we could see! I know what you're thinking - she's pregnant*, why on earth did they go to the Hunter for a holiday?? Well there's more to wine districts than wineries. There's breweries too. But avoiding alcohol entirely, there's art galleries, food, restaurants, scenery, and much much more. Rambling country roads, cows, fruit groves, and C-chan's Uncle. I happen to think that the Hunter is a bit too obviously developed with tourism in mind. Lacks much of the charm of the South Australian wine valleys (Barossa, McLaren and Clare). But it was a nice break anyway.

After the Hunter, we took the road less travelled to the Blue Mountains to visit Seagreen on the last night of our mini-break. We wound our way along the outskirts of the Sydney Basin past countless citrus groves and stone fruit orchards. We crossed the Hawkesbury river by ferry, then made our way up into the mountains. Seagreen's house was a welcome end point, with a pot of chai and nibbles quickly rustled up (thanks for your wonderful hospitality again!). But $%^# it was cold!! 13 degree days in late November - that's just not normal.

* news out of the bag now, so thought large print was appropriate

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Today I went to a women's networking thing run by my employer's women's group. I haven't been to one before, and wasn't sure what to think. The topic of the talk today was work life balance for women. It wasn't just about balancing raising children with work, it was about society as a whole and balancing caring and family in general with work and of course, questioning whether we all need to have as much money as we seem to think we do. Nothing mindblowing was said, but I didn't realise that not only do women bear more responsibility at home when it comes to housework and kid-rearing, but the same is also true of caring for elderly parents or relatives. The talk discussed lots of angles really briefly, including how do we as a society make it more "acceptable" to employers for men to request similar flexibilities to care for their families. The place I work for has some seriously well qualified women when it comes to feminist theory, equal opportunities and law. Ran into someone I knew vaguely but got to know that little bit better, which was nice.

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Am having a day off today, and was therefore home to watch the media circus on telly surrounding the execution of an Australian in Singapore. I theorise that somewhere in the past week or 2, the Australian dialect has shifted, and the word "vigil" has taken on a new pronounciation: "vigual". There are so many issues surrounding this execution that I don't want to get into here, but I was saddened - that the death penalty still exists, that 50% of Australians seem to have forgotten why the death penalty was abolished here, and that our PM, apart from getting a furrowed brow when he wasn't informed directly of the execution date a few weeks back, did too little too late to stop this happening. It was, after all, an Australian caught in the act of being about to break Australian customs law. Other Governments have successfully intervened to extradite their citizens from Singapore in the past.

Report on this weeks’ to do list

First official (verbal) notification to bosses (I have 2) that am pregnant. No really awkward moments resulted, which was a good start. Reasonably, was asked what the plan was afterwards (they do need to plan what to do in my absence), but other than taking a year off, kept it vague – mostly because I have no definite idea myself and want to keep and open mind because I know most mothers have internal conflicts about working and being a mother of a small child. I’m not sure which way I will swing at the end of the first year, let alone the fact that C-chan will be in the middle of a “career change” around about late next year, and we don’t know what opportunities he will have for a hiatus from work, although he is keen to find one.

Boss #1 turned out to be cool, and when I said I’d prefer he doesn’t tell every/anyone yet, he said “No, it’s your job to let people know”. Offered to make an appointment with Personnel for me to discuss maternity leave situation. Even got an unexpected inoffensive pregnancy joke “Ah there’s nothing so relaxing than relaxin”, which was totally unexpected. [Relaxin is the hormone that increases in pregnancy and relaxes muscles in preparation for giving birth – possibly responsible for the pregnant woman waddle, not to mention other gastrointestinal and urethral malfunctions during pregnancy.] Yeah, I know it wasn’t that hilarious – must have been a joke he and his wife shared - but I prefer intellectual pregnancy jokes to crude ones any day!!

Boss #2 I had been slightly dreading telling, as he loves to tease and said once before he can’t stand babies. However, was pleasantly surprised that he ended up saying his daughter is pregnant also (a few weeks more advanced than me) and had a lot more sensible things to say before some light hearted ribbing… “you wait until they are teenagers!!”

Best responses:
Usually involve the words “Congratulations, how lovely!”, or amusing anecdotes about their/wives’ experiences in the 1st/2nd trimester.

Worst reponses (ranked with increasing tactlessness):
3) Oh! What will you do? Will you come back to work?
2) Oh! That’s great… I assume?
1) Oh?! Have you been trying long?

I don’t mind friends asking me these questions at all, but this is where work and personal life should be kept separate. The only person at work who I think has the right to reasonably ask me question #3 are my direct managers. The rest isn’t really relevant to anyone except people I want to share it with. Questions 1 & 2 have so much potential to be offensive and hurtful to people who have either not planned their pregnancy and find themselves in a difficult situation, or have been trying under difficult circumstances unsuccessfully or with painful miscarriages. C-chan’s Mum said people were always asking her questions just like this, and “so when are you going to have kids?”, and in her case, it had been a long and painful process trying to get pregnant.

Do people I work with really want to have details of my sex life and level of fertility? Why do people feel the need to ask this? Often people you don’t know are more interested in getting news that they can have ready to tell other people…

So all in all, people don’t think before they speak, but at least I haven’t had any form of sex discrimination or harassment from my first bout of news. So far, so good. Now if only someone would offer me a place to nap in the afternoon….

The most ignorant question has to be “do you know if you are having a girl or a boy?”. For the record, at 12 weeks, the answer is “NO. No frickin idea. You can only make out the head and limbs in the ultrasound. And, no, I don’t mind which gender the child turns out to be.”

Clothes situation:
Jeans are no longer comfortable. Most of my skirts are not fitting, or won’t before too long. Have found a few better tops and a skirt and some Thai fisherman pants that are cotton and tie up. That’s better!

Oh and I forgot to mention....

Amongst the news stories about flooding rivers setting a certain brewery's christmas display adrift (imagine the baby Jesus walking on water and a fibreglass whale making a break for freedom towards the sea), and constant news stories about either SA-based AFL teams, Adelaide television had something else that we don't have here in the east. These are government-funded tele campaigns with Tim Flannery urging South Australians to turn of their lights when they're not in a room, and turn off their computers when they're not in use. Complete with a "This initiative forms part of the SA strategic plan" sped-up message at the end of the Ad. Is anyone else aware of this sort of thing happening elsewhere in Oz? I just can't imagine the NSW govt ever sponsoring such a campaign...

Destination: Hometown

Have just successfully completed my first work trip since becoming a host organism! Went quite well, was only ill 1 of the 4 mornings, and thankfully not on the plane or anywhere except my hotel room. I think it might be tapering off (yippee!!). Was tired etc as usual, and it was hard to resist kicking on with the others for the lovely Hindley Street night life, but one must make sacrifices at certain times in their life. Even managed to make it for breakfast at the Central Markets, which didn't disappoint. Wanted to do my grocery shopping then and there, but it wasn't exactly practical.

Conference was quite stimulating, and even made a few contacts which could be useful should I want to work elsewhere in the next few years. Highlight was a presentation from the Aussie Nobel Peace Prize winner, discussing the diagnostic innovations and commercialisations that resulted from his team's breakthrough discovery that a bacterium causes stomach ulcers.

I was able to tag on an overnight stay at my folk's place at the end of my conference, which was an added bonus. My folks are getting more interesting as they get older... they are both active participants in their local reconciliation group, which has erected a cool monument and meeting place on the site of a home where some "stolen generation" kids were raised after being removed from their families in northern SA, and is now a major destination for school kids as part of their Australian Studies programs. Mum's busy with a PhD, while Dad is weaning out of work, knocking back involvement in further committees, and working his impressive vege garden, with 3 compost bins, and crops as diverse as bok choy, asparagus and a blueberry bush!! After 30 years of good soil management, the Adelaide hills clay is now a dark brown soil rich in organic matter and earthworms.

To do list for week:
- talk to personnel dept about maternity leave situation (of course, when you re-read the policy, it's not as clear cut as it seemed 6 months ago)
- disclose to bosses that am a host organism before it gets obvious (and so I can "come out" in general, as am nearing the magic 2nd trimester)
- find some pants and skirts that can "grow with me"
Easy peasy.

Sluggishness and other ramblings (from one who has lost her mental faculties)

Friend and mother-of-2-year-old asked me when I told her I’m preggers: “now, are you ready to lose your mental faculties?”. I now think I know what she meant.

On top of that, I feel predominantly like a slug at present. I slide out of bed in the morning (so I don’t faint or make self sick), I get up and wash my face and lie down for a few more minutes. I get dressed and get myself off to work. I am a grumpy, terse slug for much of the morning - a little blunter than usual in past few days at meetings…“Can you hurry up? We’re all waiting for you!” to guy who is late and fiddling around with email….”So what are you getting at?” to people who go off in never-ending tangents…”PLEASE one person at a time!!” when people keep talking over each other. Totally justified, but I usually have more tact and cheeriness than that).

I eat nuts, wholemealy biscuits and vegemite, yoghurt, and fruit as am able in morning. Small lunches (it’s getting squashed for space in there), mouthfuls separated by big sighs – I’m sure that’s how slugs would behave.

I look longingly around office for somewhere I could nap for a few mins without anyone noticing, but window-wall means everyone can see in. (Can’t wait until I have officially told employer so I can be open about everything, but time is not right yet.)

Home again, for more snack food while I can before AS/ES kicks in (afternoon / evening sickness). Can’t face thought of cooking, eat what can, fall asleep on couch or drag self off to bed. Went to bed at 8:30 last night, woke up at 1:30, was sick, then was forced to overhear someone else having “a really nice time” with their windows open. Wonder how I ever had energy, but must have, clearly to be in state I am in now. The world is so boring at 1:30 am – C-chan is just as tired as me with all he has on, so can’t wake him up for a chat. The TV channels could at least re-run popular programs for night owls, but instead they throw on 5th-rate American sitcoms, infomercials, evangelists and parliamentary question time. Everything else (e.g. cleaning house, sitting upright) takes too much energy.

I’m told that after a while (end of 1st trimester), energy levels return, and sickness decreases for most. Can’t wait. Wanna be out there doing laps in der pool; pounding the pavement; cooking up a storm; having weird-ass cravings for pickles and ice-cream rather than sparrow eating. Not to mention all the planning/chucking out/cleaning up we need to do around the house to make room for baby stuff, and the fact that I only know of one maternity wear shop in the whole of Sydney (but haven’t done a serious search yet either). My wardrobe is almost entirely lacking loose-fitting summer wear, for the top half anyway. I’m not showing yet, but certainly am not liking tight fitting clothes as much as I used to.

Had first Ultrasound this week! This is the dating ultrasound. To be honest, I never had any doubt about conception date (or date from last period, as they calculate the 40 weeks from), as am aware enough of my cycle to know what was going on, when, but I suppose the Public Health system can’t just take your word for it. For all they know, I could be some nut case with an imagined pregnancy. I suppose it helps them get me in the system, and plan how many babies are due to be born in the hospital in months to come. The US confirmed that bub is alive and well, has limbs and a head, and has a (normally) fast heart rate (160 bpm – as fast as mine when I have been swimming hard). Confirmed that bub is 10 weeks along this week, alive, and the size it should be. Phew.

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As an aside, check out this article entitled "Where is Superman?" This is exactly what I (as an amateur social theorist) have been thinking a big part of the problem with inequality in the family/career balance thing has been.

Dr Dr, give me the news....

Can I just start by saying "3 cheers for C-chan!!"? What a lovely person he is. While he has more than enough on his plate at present, he is also doing much of the meal cooking in this household as my temperamental appetite tries out different eating regimes. I always knew he was a good sort, but I appreciate it all the same. Currently (ie last few days), I am waking up feeling fine, but feeling queasy mid-afternoon/evening.

Thought I might have a chat about the 3 Drs I have seen in the past few weeks. Booked in at my usual Dr's first, but she was on leave, so got another Dr for the first appointment. Sat in her room and looked around. Lots of certificates on her wall. Nice. Appointment progresses, Dr seems OK. Had a read of what was actually on the certificates "Graduate certificate of Aesthetic something or other". Ads for Botox. Start to feel uncomfortable. This Dr is clearly specialising in cosmetic surgery-type GP. Start to doubt her credibility, although she took my blood samples just fine and answered most of my questions without a problem. Thought "Will stick to my usual Dr for next visit".

Second visit - usual Dr. Ah that's better. Veteran mother of 3, been there, done that. Lots of helpful hints, and useful info about Obstetricians, but very vague about what I do if I want to just go through my local public hospital.

After investigating the public health system* - I do live near a very good public hospital with a recently done up Mothers and Babies ward - I have to go see another Dr who is accredited to participate in the "Shared Care" program. This means I go to see accredited Dr and also check in at the clinic at the hospital to meet with Midwives etc. This Dr rocked! He asked me detailed questions about my health, medical history, and family health history. Asked me questions about how I felt about important issues that I need to consider. Answered my many questions about what to do,when over the next few months. Feeling more confident now that I kind of have someone appointed to oversee my pregnancy.

Glad to have part of the complex medical maze in front of me clarified. Next step... ultrasound.

(*the route one takes if one doesn't opt to see an Obstetrician and pay >$4000 with only a $2000 rebate from Medicare - ever wondered what you'd do with the baby bonus? )

NOW I get it....

I used to occasionally see these ginger gummy bear lollies in shops and wonder who in their right mind would buy them. Now I am their greatest fan!! That's right. Ginger gummy bears rock. This is because they are so hot in your mouth that you forget that you are feeling motion/morning sickness in the car/bus/train/couch. And something about ginger being good for nausea.

So I'm doing the pregnant and holding down a full time job thing, with all the obstacles that entails. There are so many potentially awkward situations there I wonder why noone has made a movie about the comical side of morning sickness before....

1) "Good morning, honey, how are you today?"
"Please don't touch my stomach... oh no... BLAAAARGH!!" (insert canned laughter)...

2) "Want some cheese and crackers?"
"I don't ever want to eat or hear about cheese again!!"
"But I thought you were hanging out for cheese yesterday??"
"Oh no... BLAAAARGH! I said don't mention that word!! And I meant it!!" (insert canned laughter)...

3) 9am meeting - why the hell did it have to be so early? Preparation with breakfast consisting only of dry foods (pretzels, crackers, nuts, tiny teddys) eaten in sparrow-sized portions. Nightmare scenario in back of mind involving having to dash out of meeting (where I am the only woman) suddenly but not make it to the bathroom in time, or worse, being sick at the meeting. In reality, all was clear. Phew.

I'm wondering about the dim darker ages, when knowledge about babies would have been conveyed largely by word of mouth... How would one have coped if one didn't have a mother, mother-in-law, sister, friend, auntie etc who could have "diagnosed" your condition and helped you through? I would be freaking out right now if I didn't know what was going on. I'd probably be almost anorexic if I didn't tell myself I should eat.

But right now, I'm greatful for my mother, mother-in-law, Nanna (even tho' she already has 5 great-grandkids) for sharing, caring, telling me stories of "way back when" and friends for sending me useful hints and web links!! You know in the 70's , you had to sew your own maternity clothes? and you had to quit work the moment everyone found out you were obviously up the duff?

mini-meme + post

listening to: ABC AM Radio
Vinyl classics such as -
Arrival, ABBA (includes "Fernando" and "Dancing Queen" and many more);
Tapestry, Carole King ("I feel the earth move", "A Natural Woman", and "It's too late");
Paul Mauriat's freaky moog 70's dinner/elevator music with interestingly (read: barely) clad chick on cover, and orchestrated versions of "Mrs Robinson", "Penny Lane" and "Lara's theme" from Dr Zhivago.... this is the result of my parents being in a record club in the 70's
eating: whatever I can stomach, whenever I can stomach it
feeling: nauseous, hungry, hunger tinged with nausea, nausea tinged with hunger, occasionally very tired, occasionally very emotional (can't handle anyone dying or breaking up on television), and a little bit like I'm keeping a naughty secret.

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Food is one of the things I love. How wierd to be ambivalent about it now? Now it's like - is the coast clear? Right, eat..... now! b.t.w. - secret to subduing morning sickness seems to be grabbing a little something dry to eat (nuts, crackers) before you feel sick. Strangely, I have been waking between 3-4 every morning sans alarm, stuffing a couple of almonds in my mouth even though not hungry and going back to sleep. Seems to be working most days.

I have been fond of the idea of Udon noodle soup, avocados with salt and pepper, mature cheese and hard boiled eggs lately. Most foods seem like a good idea, but when they are in front of me, my enthusiasm wanes drastically. Appetite also smaller. Very strange thing to go through.

My God, I am a walking talking pregnancy cliché. Morning sickness with a vengeance. Whatever I did wrong, dear Gods, that I must be punished for, please forgive me. I have suffered enough (1 week!), and I repent fully for the time I teased Callum Brown (not his real surname) in Year 7 for having a name that sounded like “Gollum”. Pretty witty for an 11-year-old, eh? But still terrible of me, and I’m truly sorry.

My mother never had it, but I had been forewarned that your mother’s experience has no bearing on your own. My poor work collegue had it from the second month right up to the birth. Fingers crossed that mine will be more fleeting.

It started last week, with general queasiness most of the time, but nothing more. “pff! Morning sickness? Should be more like mild motion sickness, not related to mornings or being in motion. I can handle this…” I thought.

But yesterday, sadly, that changed. Yes, I had my first true episode of being ill in the morning. But then I felt better the rest of the day. Still seemed manageable.

BUT THEN, things got worse this morning. I was ill again this morning, but thought that would be the end of it, as per yesterday. However, my drive to work was never comfortable. Alas, things felt a little more desperate as my car was not 10 minutes from work… Pulled over as soon as was practical, but not soon enough. Oh yes, imagine almost the worst thing that can happen… projectile vomiting out the car door, but not before getting some on your pants!! Luckily, I hadn’t eaten anything yet. Must investigate my options for management of my condition.

Now I have a few worries:
- Someone at work may have been driving past at that moment… Please no!!
- It may happen at a painfully obvious time at work
- If it gets worse, I may have trouble covering my tracks pre-announcement. A guy that sits next to me is a father of 4 and his wife is a midwife. He can smell a pregnancy a mile off.

Note later on in day: eating potato crisps helped a lot!

phew I'm back

Finally sorted out my cookie problem.

Most significant news since I last blogged: I'm pregnant!

Not telling everyone yet, as not reached end of magical first 3 months for a little while yet, and certainly not ready to tell work about it, so Mum's the word until I give the formal go-ahead. However, how can one not tell one's webdiary such big news?

So here's what I know so far:
- if things go full term, I'll have a Gemini. Anyone care to analyse the Scorpio/Gemini relationship for me? Or the Aries/Gemini relationship for it's Dad?
- Morning sickness is a *very real* condition
- I face an alcohol-free 30th birthday in a couple of weeks time... time to break out the soda and lime!!

postcard from Newtown

Long time, no post. I'm having a difficult '"cookie" problem on my computer that is not letting me login to compose blogs. Will have to sort that out. In the meantime, I'm grabbing an opportunity to use another computer.

Spring has sprung in Newtown!! The young leaves on the feral deciduous trees are past bud stage, the sun is moving south enough to shine in our window again, my winter-dormant hayfever gene has sprung into action, and bizarre sects of people who stand in a circle and laugh really hard together are congregating in Camperdown park (I kid you not).

Other Spring time activities: a Sunday morning splash at North Sydney pool, nestled between the Harbour Bridge and Luna Park. We meet with friends for a swim, followed by coffee and toast in the sunshine; conversation with a harbour backdrop. Highly recommended. Yes, it is still a little cool in the morning this time of year, but the 2 minutes of cold as you are making your way to and from the changerooms is nothing compared to swimming and breakfasting in the morning sun.

Life is chugging along quite well - the quiet before the storm as the folks visit on the next *two* weekends, with a break in between to visit up North (the eye of the hurricane??). My folks are pretty easy going, so no major drama - just point them in the direction of a nice walk, museum, book store or the state library, and feed them, and they're happy. But you know how it is when your household doubles in population. That, and the stress of needing to remember to put your shoes and crap away *every night*...

top sleepy time albums

In no particular order, here are my favourite albums for getting off to sleep. At the most, the album will only have 1 song that you need to program out because it always wakes you up:

* In the Wee Small Hours - Frank Sinatra
* Skylarking or Apple Venus - XTC
* Bladerunner (soundtrack) - Vangelis
* Music for Airports - Brian Eno
* Moon Safari (minus Sexy Boy) - Air
* Five Leaves Left - Nick Drake
* Painted from Memory - Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach

same old, same old - us vs them

This week I'm tired of this little Us against Them mentality that always pops up within organisations. I've seen this everywhere I work. One part of an organisation (or a department) distrusts another, and clusters of conspiracy-theorising people form, lunching together to speculate about why the other group seems to be the favoured sons or daughters of the workplace.
A bit of competition is healthy, some would argue. I'm not convinced I've ever seen this sort of behaviour lead somewhere positive. And of course good leadership would quash such behaviour, foster understanding between people working for the same place, remind people that they should all have the same goal in mind.
Argh! People are destructive beings, and I'm not even talking physically or at war.

The diverse happenings of the past week...

From Tupperwear (sic) parties, to strange dreams about pet monkeys, to vocabulary I never knew my father had...

Yes folks, always one for new experiences, I went to a Tupperwear (sic) party. Sort of situation where you're not quite sure if you are really getting a bargain, you kind of feel obliged to buy because you're face to face with the saleswoman (who is full of handy storage ideas including removing EVERYTHING out of the packets you bought them in and placing them in a stackable container with a lid and a little labelling sticker!), unless you are able to export your brain outside of your friend's living room far enough to remember that other brands of plastic ware are 1/3 the price at your supermarket, never wear out either, and that you never had the need for containers that you can freeze, heat in the microwave, then pop in the dishwasher.

Last night I dreamed I had a pet monkey that I had not spent enough time with, so it was naughty and behaved unpredictably. I started spending more time training it to behave, and gradually started to notice its behaviour changing to a more adorable, manageable pet. Last night was very "dreamful", with this just being one of 4 "storylines" that I remember dreaming about, including: a project to booby trap a door, my parents splitting up & my father not taking it well while my mother just got on with life, me going shopping in an arcade then returning after hours when noone else was there. I think the vivid dreams must be something to do with coming off cold and flu tablets???

My father shocked me a bit when telling me about some research he has been conducting into his mother's family history and extended family. He mentioned that my Granny's stepmother (who verged on being an evil stepmother) might have been "you know, a bit of a loose woman" who married my Granny's father under false pretenses!!! Never knew that phrase could come out of his mouth! [Mind you, he was deliberately useing the praseology of the 1920's, and I'm sure he would not apply such prases to women of my generation, but it's not a topic I usually discuss with my dad very often].

Finally, a loved one miscarried this week. Apparently it is quite common in the first trimester of pregnancy and didn't hurt much, but is disappointing for them all the same. Kaz Cooke's fantastic book "Up the Duff" tells me that between 1/8-1/4th of all pregancies might be miscarried...

Now, must go and tend the sick with lemon and honey drinks - I have recovered as of late yesterday, but now have a flu-ey C-chan!!

tissues, quilts, and honey and lemon tea...

I think this is the 3rd time this year I have fallen sick this year on a weekend (my employers are getting good mileage out of me...). Any normal person would fall sick on Monday or soon after, but my somewhat alarming trend has been to feel the tickles of a sore throat or cold on a Friday night.
As I did on this last Friday. This has been a marathon lurgy - starting with a dry throat, then headaches, then sinus congestion (plus headaches), mutating to a cough with a sore throat again. I spent pretty much all weekend in bed, dozing and reading as my 'flu dictated. 2.5 days off work this week also!
The only good thing about this time off is that I've managed to read 2 books.

Off centre?

Had a dream last night that my belly button had moved half way to the left of my stomach. "No, no, it was definitely in the middle before, but now it is much closer to my left hand side than it was!!" I tried to convince C-chan in my dream....!

On winding down for holidays (and coming back with a thump!)

My recent, lovely holiday in the sunnier north of NSW has led me to ponder the dynamics of winding myself down for holidays and then facing work again at the other end of my time away....

My first day of holiday was generally happy - sleep in, leisurely breakfast on a week day (almost felt naughty), reading, writing to friends, even indulging in some mid-day Dr Phil telling people to "get real!" But there were visual cues that would catapult me back into work-think. My briefcase oh so casually resting by the kitchen bench. My mobile phone that could ring any minute if someone didn't realise I was actually on leave (but then I did do a pretty good job of telling people...!). Or just something to do with the fact that I had been at work the day previously, and some things that were worrying me were still on my mind. I did well to banish these thoughts as much as possible, but didn't succeed completely.

The next day we had packing and the surroundings of the countryside to engage us. This is where the true bliss of being on vacation started to kick in. Being able to let my thoughts wander wherever I wanted, and gradually linger more on those bigger questions:- what do I want to do with my holiday? what do I want to read next? what do I want to learn to do next? what do I want to cook? where do I want to live? did Blur mean that song to sound exactly like a Bowie/Kinks song, or was it subconscious? isn't it interesting how ecosystems change up, down and around mountains? and is there a God*?

And I didn't just think about satisfying my id, which you may have deduced from the first half of the above paragraph - in fact, internal discussions with my ego and super-ego revealed some interesting things. Long drives on highways give you plenty of time to dwell on thoughts that you may or may not wish to have. The hopes you want to fulfil, the things you did that you could have done better, the things you are putting off, the bizarre habits you have taken up, or the things that others did that revealed something interesting about them.

I often wonderered over the past few years - and am pretty sure now - that we, the offspring of Baby-boomers, place to much emphasis on "careers" to make us happy, while our parents just had babies and got on with it. Our current working life is something that we are enduring for a limited time, but not enjoying much. It's a decision we've made with our eyes open, so I will stop whinging about it, but I can't wait for time to move forward about a year!! For now, we'll continue with our rather stressful jobs, as we'd like to save money for later, and roll on, mid-2006!

We've done a pinky finger shake to do our best to snatch moments of fun or escapism in our time away from work, and perfect the art of switching off at the end of the day. I actually think I could do with more time for soul searching, and thinking what sort of person I want to be. This is hard when your work mandate doesn't always let you carry this out, as you're answerable to a chain of 3-4 people above before a decision can be made (ah, bureaucracy!) . Interesting thoughts to meditate on regarding whatever my next paid work or otherwise might be... And hats off to Seagreen to for taking the time out to do this over the past year (correct me if this wasn't part of your motivation!).

The first night back (ie 3 days before returning to work), C-chan had a dream (nightmare?!) about work. By pure denial, I managed to not think about work, but had about 4 dreams last night, and at least 2 of these were about work or used heavy symbolism about work. Doh! The other parts of my dreams are hard to suss out, but some imagery was slightly disturbing:
- visited a part time soft-toy maker who was not quite "all there"
- hiding from someone who was hunting down a sniper on the loose (but i wasn't even guilty or a suspect)
- watching old videos of other people I've known having fun, but knowing I wasn't there (why I had these videos, I don't know, but I think that's beside the point).

Lots of food for thought from the past few weeks - the holiday was timely and thoroughly enjoyable.

* just kidding!

happy happy holidays!!

What a nice break - and I have Monday off work also, so can still sleep in and read and have a late breakfast and potter about the suburb and cook new things - yay!!

Here are some highlights from our holiday in the Northern Rivers district:-

We stayed our first night at Port Macquarie. Nice town with a lovely beach to the south of the city (left, not us on the camels).








Beautiful beaches @ Byron - shame it was still a touch too cold and windy to swim, but perfect for reading and watching surfers. Who is that strange girl in the shadows??


And below is a succulent in flower!
This was the view from the deck on the little A-frame place we rented. After a day here, I realised - almost to my dismay - that I had forgotten how trees blowing in the wind sound. We got up when we felt like it, toured the surroundings, went for walks, came back early-to-mid arvo and slept, read, lounged, and relaxed. We hiked up the mountain in the picture (Mt Warning, which is in a World Heritage-listed park due to its Remnant Gondwanan rainforest), and had sore calves for days to follow. Once it got dark, we broke open the wine or whisky, and cooked ourselves a simple dinner, followed by tropical fruit... Custard apples, dragon fruit, strawberries!!


But like all good things, it came to an end all too soon! Here's to holidays, and recharging the batteries!

Another uncomfortable health check to add to the annual list...

This article is about Dr Robot giving you an breast exam!!!

Not sure that am very keen on the idea, myself. Breast exams are one of the easier and more pleasant regular tests that can be done, so long as the Dr doesn't have cold hands!! I have to wonder sometimes who decides on these priority research areas... I would hope there is a manual override for the poor patient if the poking about gets a bit out of hand!!

Winding down...

Whhhhhhhhhhew!
Over my possibly pre-menstrually (er herm) induced teenage angst now (thank goodness) and hasn't the week flown?
The week has flown, my dear reader(s) because I have had sooooo much to squeeze in. "Why?" I hear you ask "were you sooooooooooo busy?" Well my Chickens, because today was the last day I go to work for nearly 2 full weeks! That's right.... I'm going on a

H O L I D A Y ! !

Yes - the C-chan and I are stuffing our little ve-hi-cle with gear and heading as far North as you can whilst still staying in the Premier State (first at what, I ask you?). We may even venture over the border for a day!!! We have 3 or 4 books each lined up to read, and the latest New Scientist mag. DJ C-chan is loading the CD wallet up with stuff to listen to in the car. I really can't wait.

Finally tonight, I feel my body unwind - I'm inclined to take deep breaths, then smile as I exhale. My eyes are sleepy like they've been holding out for the last week but decided they'd had enough this afternoon at approximately 5:15pm.

To properly farewell work for a couple of weeks, here are some Ridgey Didge quotes from some work meetings I've been at this week:

"assessing things we don't know how to assess"

"obviously we don't make it a standard until it's a standard"

What more does one need to say to be convinced that one will not miss work one little bit whilst away??

help, my mother just recommended me a "self-help" book!!!

There really is something disturbing about someone recommending you a self-help book. To quote the grandparent of many self-help books, it really is saying "I'm OK, you're not OK!!" at the worst and "I'm not OK, you're not OK!!" at the best!! (or would the other way 'round be preferable? I don't know).

I know I can be too sensitive at times, but really, what is someone trying to tell you when they say you might be interested in a book "on how we use our feelings and emotions to unconsciously manifest negativity or lack into our lives and how we can also use them to turn our lives right around and create the sort of life we really want"??

It really makes me wonder what my stories sound like to her down the other end of the phone line at times... Especially when I'm surrounded by other people who are constantly moaning about how shit their work is and often I feel that if I didn't listen to anyone else's opinion and just kept my head down and worked, I'd probably be a lot happier. And I might add that I spent much of my childhood listening to my own parents moan about their work, and not turning their negative situations right around to the situation they wanted!!!! (mind you, it's hard to just pack up and migrate to a tropical island if you have 2 kids to think of).

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Phew, glad I got that off my chest. Just replied to my mother's email, making a joke about buying an office copy. I'll just treat it like a book recommendation that she thought I might like but got wrong this time (I'll save the recommendation for when I'm driven to despair).

Bridgit style tally, week 1

Alcohol units since Sunday:

3.4* (oops)

It really is hard to resist a beer at the end of a hard working day when work mates so jovially offer you one (especially when accompanied by home-made, warmed up samosas).

But this is a reduction on last week, and indeed the average week.

Not bad...

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*nb on 3 separate days

wish me luck...

OK - as from Sunday, I am now officially on a low-to-no alcohol diet. Yes, the "drugs" bit has been removed from the "Sex & drugs & rock'n'roll" (the other two being perfectly OK).

I have a few excuses handy for when in social situations but not really wanting to explain why I'm not drinking (more for reasons of virtue than dependency, I can assure you!!). Excuses I have have in the wings:

"no I don't think I will today/night, thanks..."
"beer/wine isn't agreeing with me at the moment"
"I'm driving"
"I think I feel a cold coming on, so should stick to lemon squash"

That that's enough to go on for now - any others?

Random late night thoughts

I'm up late for a school night. Don't want to risk going to bed and lying awake for hours thinking about stuff I'd rather not, as my brain is ticking over. My feet are freezing, but I'm too lazy to get up and put some socks on. When rubbing foot to try to warm it up, noticed my big toe is a bit hairy, but this has never bothered me before.

It's good having my C-chan off the study books for a while, and to see smiley corners of mouth sneaking up more often : ) He cooked a massive chocolate cake from my hippy wholefood cafe cookbook, and we've been taking it along for lunch every day since. Need to pencil in a note that if not cooking cake for an actual cafe, half the quantity is plenty.

As my friends each notch up their 30 years, and mine approaches, I realise I'm missing my friends who are scattered around the nation (or soon will be missing for those not yet dispersed... you know who you are...) - happy birthday to NT's roving reporter, and hello to: Ms Antarctic cyanobacterian expert; the freelance contracter commuting far across the not-so-emerald city; and my highly qualified friend Dr Lunchbox, who is no doubt taking the govt service by storm in the nation's capital (and these are just the ones I remember I've sent this link to and I'm hoping read this from time to time - not meaning to leave anyone off). Any chance people can visit me in Synney later on in the year?

Getting sleepy - perhaps now is the time to go and sleep and think deeper and randomer thoughts, brought to me by my sub-conscious? It's been a while since I've had a good, revealing dream, I've realised. I think it's possibly time I was challenged by something different...? Or perhaps that I'm quite challenged enough* thankyou very much and my brain is so knackered at the end of the day that it sleeps with only one goal - giving me a break. Both valid theories. But which is right?? Probably the former.

Good night, sleep tight.

*A new type of "challenged" - not "mentally challenged", "vertically challenged" etc, but "challenged enough".

vital liquids

I have returned to normal now, I promise. Nice to be annoyingly positive rather than annoyingly negative for a change, isn't it?

The picture above is my beeewdiful beer cosy (stubby holder) which I received at a certain industry conference I attended a few months back. The neck of the bottle goes through the top there and the chesty bits jut out so you kind of feel like you are groping your bottle as you drink. The back has g-string detail!!

The drought - assuming it is a 4-year drought, and not the beginning of a 50-year drier than average cycle as I heard in a scientific report last year - is worrying me. According the the seminar I attended, the last 50 years of last century (1950-2000) was a climatic mini-cycle in which we had wetter than the long term average rainfall. For this neck of the woods anyway. Will have to check whether this just applies to this side of the Great Dividing Range.

What's irritating me most is that my block of flats is apparently doing nothing about it... no system for tennants to save their vege-washing water and re-use it for the garden, no mandatory roll out of flow regulating showerheads, no way of monitoring any one unit's water usage (so that none of us are accountable for the amount of water we are using, and the guy above us has nightly 20 minute long showers). Planning to write a letter with my next rent payment to see if the strata group has any plans, or to at least to get them thinking about it.

Frost bite

I'm thinking this is the coldest winter I've had yet in Sydney (as you'd expect from a drought year, my more agriculturally minded colleagues tell me). Out west, I've seen more morning frosts and gully mists this year than I did the whole of last winter already. Grass going yellow from the dry first, then the cold. Crisp under foot. Freezing mornings that break late morning into a warm, blue blue blue skied day.

Despite the cold weather, I'm in a nice warm kind of place at the moment. Nice, nice, nice. Beaming love and getting it back (no hormones involved I'm sure).

Work is hellishly overloaded (due to a hiatus in human resourcing while they find us a Director), but I feel like I kind of know how to go about most of what I have to do for a change. Missed a "lets talk about our workload" meeting the other day, but next time I was in the office, I had people come up to me saying... "Meririsa, I had no idea how much work you had on, or the breadth of the work that you are doing at the moment! You know you can always come to me for help if you want to know something, or need someone to run something by??!!" I felt only vaguely patronised (these people are all at least 10 years my senior after all) and very warm and fuzzy, as you know you are part of the "office family" (if you can call it that) when people say such nice sympathetic things. I guess when you stop caring about certain things, and you start to feel like you are hitting your stride for a bit (enjoy it while it lasts!), this is what happens!

Other cool things that have been happening:
- Gave way to a (manual) skooter-er on the footpath the other day, and he beamed at me in return
- Feeling fit and healthy and am not catching the full version of colds and flus going around
- Have the energy to give almost strangers (people you run into regularly but don't know) a smile and a "hello"
- cooking new things such as "beef and guiness pie", "dhal", "vege soup with black eyed beans*", and roast celeriac.
- mananging to wake up early again - love being up and about before anyone else (so long as I've had enough sleep, of course....)
-C-chan has nearly finished study for the semester, and can devote his spare time to me for the next month or 2!!

*new, favourite ingredient

Just trying out a tool to add picture to my Blog. Took this picture at Coogee beach the winter before last... 

yesterday... all my troubles seemed so far away...

Today was an odd sort of day - 3 things stand out:

A collegue's wife had a serious car accident, and it wasn't certain that she would pull through

A seriously pissed off ex-employee of my organisation visited and earbashed me about a range of issues although they all predated my employment here. He got angrier and angrier, and drew his gripes into the conversation from far and wide, to the point where I was trembling (and I promise I did nothing at all to inflame the situation), and I had to walk him out my office to stop his crescendo of anger

I'm all excited about a visit to the mountains this weekend to catch up with my girlfriends!! Mention the word slumber party and I'm all for it!!

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ps like the new colour scheme? had to change the template because the comments server I was using crashed. Hope to bring in pictures and a better sidebar in the near future, but need a techy to help me out...

Had a dream the other night that I was on a rollerblading obstacle/orienteering course through the countryside – kind of like a corporate extracurricular thing. Had to climb over cyclone fences wearing the skates and everything!! Was in the company of mostly middle-aged men and occasionally their female partners, and C-chan was there with me for this part of the dream. Later, was going along a cliff alone with a gorge below but wasn’t sure if I’d taken the right path.

It seems I was on the right path to finish the race, and the race finished up at my Primary School oval having to do a lap to finish. Found I was actually amongst the first 20 to finish, but was suddenly only wearing a towel around my lower half. My movement felt extremely unnatural as I did this last lap clutching the towel and still wearing roller blades, I think? I somehow managed to finish, but I was just one of many in the race so no big deal and there was no one there to greet me.

What an uninspiring dream. Hardly needs interpretation – there are three themes:
- I am often the only female in my work meetings and teams (I knew that already, but maybe I should think about this some more)
- While what I’m doing at work is complex, everyone else I work with is working on equally complex stuff and everyone else is so busy also that what I do well doesn’t stand out… oh great I’m still a big kid looking for praise…
- I guess I’m struggling with certain things and worried these will be exposed (keeping towel on), yet am facing extraordinary challenges (e.g. rollerblading obstacle course)

Look forward to the next dream where I am effortlessly gliding through the ocean…

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Yay a new hobby!!

Yes there is life after work. Did a beading course at the shop under my apartment block on the weekend…. Learned to make a beaded necklacey thing. Am remaking the one I did in the course as was a bit short. Now have groovy green beads to wear with lime green top.

Hopefully strings of groovy beady bracelets and necklaces will result for all my loved ones!! That’s provided I actually show some skill in this area…

two unrelated ponderings...

Life (for me) is currently like building up the courage to jump off the end of a jetty into the ocean for thrills. Walk up to the edge of the jetty, look down, gauge the height, back a pace, forward again, build up the courage, think a while, bend the knees & poise to jump, worry you might do a mega belly flop, back off, decide you do want to go through with it after all, walk to the edge… jump?

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There is something really off-putting about someone getting off on their newfound power. Especially when that person is totally oblivious to the general ill feeling and suspicion that is radiating back towards them from numerous camps.

Postcard from the wheat belt

That isn't a stylish belt made of dried wheat strung together (but it sounds attractive, doesn't it?!)

Life slows down out here, even when you're having important meetings with people who ultimately have a say on whether you get money.

The land is flat, floodplain land, and the sun doesn't get blocked by hills as it rises and sets. No clouds this time of year, coming off what is normally a wet season, and either end of the day is accompanied by diffuse sunlight and loooooong shadows. Streets are wide, and houses raised to avoid all but the "1 in 100 year" floods. People's livelihoods are at the mercy of the elements.

Talk gravitates to bore irrigation quotas, rainfall, world agricultural markets, and wheat classifications. Memories are long, thinking gaps are inserted between sentences, and fortunately at this meeting, some heartfelt praise is being sent our way for the job we're doing (whew!).

Most refreshingly, talk is straight when you need it to be.

Tonight, I dine with 9 other people who are all male, and mostly farmers, in a ghastly homestead-themed RSL. If we're even lucky, we'll be able to hear the music from next-doors' line dancing class (...G'day G'day... How ya doin?...) as we chew through our vegetarian unfriendly menu. My voice will probably automatically take on a slightly more occer accent to fit in, as this is their world, not mine.

Highlights of the week ending 17/4/05

Started off the week at the conference of a certain horticultural industry. In my conference bag, I received a slightly sexist stubby holder (remind me to show you when you next come over for a beer). The conference had a partners program, and the conference organizer struggled over which language to use (politically correct vs pre-women’s lib) when advertising it’s itinerary to the group at the opening of the conference – ended up being a mish mash of “we’re glad to have the ladies, I mean “partners” along and we have a really great program for them” (read: the lovely ladies will not want anything to do with this nasty science, tractors and chemical stuff, so we’ve provided a girly, fluffy side-program so that the men can focus on the farming stuff and have a big blokely pow-wow instead of adding to the program material relevant to the part of the business that the females usually provide).

Someone made the point of coming up to me just to tell me they think I am doing a good job (this is after a senior staff meeting were I’d received a grilling of questions). This was a pleasant surprise/relief.

Had my quarterly hair cut, and everyone commented on it.

Cooked a mean minestrone.


This could happen to you/hard luck story

A friend of mine recently received a call in the middle of the day from her land-lord’s solicitor saying they were standing in their lounge room, and was there anything they might like to collect before they changed the locks?

And yes - they had paid rent on time, and had not done anything wrong. How did this happen?

It seems Landlord had gotten behind on their mortgage payments, and property had been claimed by lending institution. According to Land Agent, all they are legally obliged to do is:

1. send out notice of eviction by mail 7 days prior (with no obligation to ensure it actually reached tenant)
2. stick notice on door 7 days prior (again, with no obligation to ensure that it doesn’t fall off or actually reaches the tenant)

Obviously, neither of these notices reached my friend or her partner before the eviction date. Their life has been turned upside down, they have access to their belongings only by prior appointment with unsympathetic Land Agent, and are forced to find a new residence within 2 weeks. All this, and the Land Agent is getting narky with them for being upset (which is only understandable), and a solicitor is making things difficult for them re: giving them access to their stuff which they haven't had a chance to move out, because they didn't get any notice of their eviction. But when it comes down to it, it's their word agains the land agent's.

Housemate meme

meme n : a cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one generation to another by nongenetic means (as by imitation);

I’ve never done a meme on my blog, but this one is at the suggestion of BSharp (see April, 2005). Whether or not it's interesting to anyone is another matter (this is your cue to comment at end of this entry, especially if you read this from time to time and have never commented!!)

My first ever share house started out as a dream of cooperation and happiness, full of likeminded Post Grad students who didn’t want house matters to be a hassle. We pooled grocery shopping resources, and took it in turns to shop and cook. I realized later that no sharehouse would ever be so good. I had a reunion with 1) and 2) in Italy whilst traveling there in ’98, and am still in touch with 1) who is still with girlfriend plus gorgeous baby.

Sharehouse 1.1: Parkside Vunderhaus!!

1) Manfred: der lovesik (sic) Deutschlander!
Manfred was (is) adorable. Big, sturdy frame, gentle manner, and a round expressive face that I suspect made up for his sometimes lacking English. In an accident of visa applications, his long-term girlfriend Doris was not able to join him in Australia, and to make up for this, Manfred worked darn hard, so he could take a long holidays to Germany in the Australian winter, and Doris would stay here for a long visit over the German winter. In between, he cleaned the house, went on regular trips to Adelaide’s surrounding wine regions, worked late on his PhD (grapevines), held wine appreciation evenings, and cooked. Oh – the cooking… pizza, sourdough bread…(mmm) apple cake…(mm mmmm) cinnamonny scroll things called Scheckenudeln (mmmmmmmmmmmm!). He taught me everything I know about yeast cookery!

2) Sandra: the not so lovesick Italiano
Sandra’s long distance relationship with Luca in Italy whilst in Australia for a year was not so happy… many expressive and colourful conversations in Italian were overheard while she talked to him on the phone in the hallway. As well as being a good film and theatre buddy, Sandra taught me everything I know about making risotto, tortellini, minestrone, and the importance of using genuine Parmesan. Most impressive exploit was an after-hours lab-experiment with sparkling alcoholic tomato “wine”!

3) Nick, from The Mount
Nick was a regular, decent bloke from Mt Gambier, who liked footy, and was the only Australian resident I ever lived with in this house. He preferred meat and three veg, especially when cooked by his mum, and once his entire family came to visit from The Mount (Mum, Dad, and 2 brothers), which was an experience…

Sharehouse 1.2: Exit Italiano, enter the Quebecois

4) Karine was a proud, French-speaking Canadian, in Australia for a year of study. Her cooking exploits were less impressive than the other foreign housemates' (e.g. “special Canadian pie” which was basically Shepherd’s Pie but with added carrot), however, her Toblerone fondue was notable! Sadly the victim of a late night drunken pantsdown visit from Tim (see below).

Sharehouse 1.3: Exit Manfred, enter the Scot

5) Keith the Scot was always going to have a hard time living up to Manfred’s champion housemate standards. With Keith came a shift in household dynamic. Keith agreed to everything we said we wanted in the house, then promptly ignored it. Keith raised the level of household slobbishness, and brought into our lives such pleasures as: late night pissing outside my window after the pub had shut (unfortunately, I was in bed trying to sleep on the inside of the window); devouring a BBQ chicken late at night and throwing the bones around the kitchen for us to find in the morning; drunk friends who slept if off on the couch; whisky appreciation (the latter I’m actually grateful for). In the end, Keith revealed himself to be a nasty bully and I ended up having a big argument with him and moving out.

Sharehouse 1.4 Exit Karine, Enter Tim, Keith’s Uni Mate.

[I went overseas on a trip to Europe, and expressly asked that Nick and Keith find another female to move in when Karine went back to Quebec, and that I didn’t want Keith’s mate Tim to move in. Despite this, got back to find Tim had moved in… Keith’s explanation for the dark brown tide marks in the shower was that “we thought you were getting back tomorrow” and that I shouldn’t be so uptight about a bit of mess. However, my main reason for being “uptight” about my new living arrangements had more to do with this episode, a few months earlier…]

6) I woke up early one morning (5am), and got up to investigate a strange hiccupping noise. Karine’s door was wide open and slamming in the breeze… she wasn’t there but Tim (who didn’t live there) was, muttering “Where’s Keith? I can’t find Keith”. Keith was nowhere to be seen. Tim obviously wasn’t sober/straight. I went downstairs and found a very angry and upset Karine huddled on the couch. Tim (6 ft 4) had burst into her room when she was asleep. He’d knocked things over in the dark, and refused to leave her room then, to Karine’s horror, he took off his shoes and dropped his dacks, then flopped on her bean bag. She fled downstairs & feared for her safety all night, while I slept on with earplugs (had put them in earlier in night to block out drunk person noise).
Months later, Tim asked me what had happened that night - he'd had a convenient memory lapse. I refreshed his memory and he seemed appropriately horrified. Only actually lived with Tim for 2 weeks.

Sharehouse 2 – Grly house in Adelaide’s inner west
7) Moved in with a friend of a friend. She was a separatist-feminist, lesbian, vegan, catholic, far-leftist (SFLVCFL). She told me once that she reckoned she’d chosen a difficult life for herself. Had many interesting chats in the kitchen and back yard. Yeah – we were different on many levels, and things got a bit tense at times, but I learned a lot.

Sharehouse 3 – love nest(s)
8) Sooner after meeting than our grandparents would have approved, C-chan and I moved in together. No more house-mate “issues”. Hoorah! Then C-chan moved to Sidonee to get a job…

9) …for a while to be the charmingly attributed the name “Cupboard Boy” (see B-Sharp), while I stayed with my folks…

10) …then we moved into a damp, wobbly, expensive (by Adelaide standards) little town house backing onto a restaurant strip in Newtown (nb – never do this… higher than normal cockroach levels, bottle-collection noise, restaurant noise and smells, break-and-enters, and worst off all – regular visits from the putrid-smelling, gag-inducing grease collection truck). How did we last almost 3 years there? I attribute living there to my body developing a hypersensitivity to common allergens and food chemicals (seems to be subsiding a bit now, thank goodness).

11) Which brings us to our current place. Clean (except for our mess), well ventilated, and sans restaurant noise.

Revenge of the geeks

When I was a kid it was kind of geeky to take piano lessons and be interested in science. I guess that makes me a geek!

Boosting science enrolments - check out this article, if you sympathise with issues surrounding science. If you want my opinion (and if you don't, click off!), it has a lot to do with high school science teachers like my yr9 teacher - Mr Pavlowsky, who seriously wore socks, sandles and shorts, and whose lips didn't move beyond a circle shape when he talked in his monotone. Rote learing is probably a bit of a fizzer also, instead of fostering curiosity.

Now, onto piano... lately have seen 2 concerts that have rocketed up into my "top 5 concerts".

1) Ben Folds @ the Enmore Theatre (Sat night)
This was a seriously fun concert. Consisted of him + piano, bassist and drummer. Raced straight into a version of "in between days" which was a suprise. Played tracks from his new album which are growers. Had amusing anecdotes about what inspired the songs ("This really happened, I promise..."), jammed at the end of songs, and somehow incorporated a few minutes of "popcorn" into one of them. This guy seems to be able to do anything with 10 fingers and a keyboard.
The most fun was had with songs from his first album and from his former band (Ben Folds Five). In some of the songs (such as "Army"), he taught the crowd 2 or 3 part harmonies to make up for a lacking horn or vocal section. The musical talent in the audience was such that it worked well! He did a version of "Bitches ain't shit" (written by Dr Dre) - the lyrics of which are awful, but came across as just hilariously lame when played with a 3 piece band instead of rapping.
What got me was that he is a REALLY talented piano player, and that I have never had so much fun at a concert. GO SEE HIM WHEN HE TOURS HERE NEXT.

2) Rufus Wainright @ the Basement in Sydney (a few months back)
Played his (slightly dramatic) songs in a one-man show, either on his piana or guitar. This son of 2 prominent 60's folk artists belted his voice out to perfect pitch, improvised, and charmed the audience with his camp, witty humour. Had a little story to tell about many of the pieces he played. (ie no "1.2.3.4 waaa"). You left the concert wanting to become his best friend. Better to see live than to listen to on CD (his pieces are a bit distracting on the home stereo, due to very dramatic phrases that interrupt your thoughts/discussion etc). A mesmerising show in intimate settings (shame we didn't have a seat, though).

Omigod what day is it again?

I have had my head down & buns up, submersed in the structure, funding, strengths and failures of Uni-dom for the past week.

Review, review, review. [For heavens' sake move on - HECS was introduced in the early nineties, and it's time to make the Faculties act like businesses they've been told to be, leave the managing to Managers (maybe even without a Dr in front of their name!), and let the research geeks get on with what they are good at, instead of forcing them to fill out forms and come up to speed on good HR policy/financial management practice overnight without training....]

On the up side, I have come across some sensible management speak within the ivory towers in the past couple of weeks, which has been very refreshing. For once, people are talking of supporting important areas and talented people instead of routinely cutting back due to no dollars. Whether or not we can make this message stick at the right time to the right people is the challenge...

Can't wait for the weekend :-)

Going to see this guy (modern day piano hero, father of 2) on Saturday night...

Also planning to have my regular Sunday morning dip in Drummoyne pool, read, and get out in the open air (bearing in mind that Sydney air is nowhere near as nice as air in other places... such as the Blue Mountains where we went last weekend). I might even tackle my most procrastinated (is that a word?) task ever - organising the wedding photo album!! I just have to convince myself it's more creative and exciting than it really is!!

Negotiating technique #3 - the leapfrog

This technique is best tried by only the quickwitted, but may work on average speed wits if you have had lots of coffee that morning. It is useful for finding out things that you are not necessarily meant to know.

Prepare by taking snippets of conversations you have had with a certain person you work with on a certain critical task. Work these up in your mind, and imagine the worst possible scenario. Imagine things collapsing in a big heap, and that everyone you work with has a sub-normal level of competence. At the same time, meditate, and achieve the mindset that you alone are the sole expert on this particular matter.

Begin by suddenly appearing behind the person's desk, and request that they "come and speak to you for a sec", and walk off before they can answer "no, actually...". (Startlement and interruption is important for setting the mood of your negotiation).

Start to question them with a series of indirect questions - at no stage should the person see at once what you are actually trying to find out. If their answers are not giving you what you need, this is where you employ the fully fledged leapfrog. Latch onto anything the person says that you can, and make the conversation tangential. Bring up any past failures you can think of (theirs personally, or those of others involved with the project), and imply that the same thing is happening again. If nothing critical is divulged, change the topic again, and repeat. Watch as the person gets more and more exasperated by your sudden changes in topic and systematic wearing down of their self-confidence.

With luck, they will have by now told you what you want to know. If not, wind down the conversation, and start to look busy with something else - the person will get the hint and leave the room.

Sapien watch (1)

This week I witnessed a curious phenomenon in a fellow human being. I don't know what to call the condition, at this stage... maybe something will come later.

Said human being had made a pertinent point at a (rather badly chaired) meeting, then the discussion continued on. I had nothing to add to the discussion, and rather hoped we could just move on to the next agenda item. I looked around to see what other people were feeling about the situation. Pertinent point guy was no longer speaking, but sat there, silently mouthing words and tipping his head as if he was speaking.

I have no idea if he was reliving his moment (in which he made a valid point, but unfortunatley didn't conclude the mindnumbingly boring discusion), or if he was rehearsing for a future conversation he was anticipating having with someone.

Merry Risa channels Thelma

Well, I seem to have kicked that cold, but only after a whole weekend of doing stuff-all. Good I suppose.

A funny thing happened on Friday. Was having a conversation with someone Senior, to use the phraseology of the day (thanks BSharp). It was a hot day, and we happened to be in an unairconditioned office. Mid-sentence, my contact lens fell right off my eye. Both of us had to stop talking and scrounge around on the floor looking for it, just like Thelma from Scooby Doo when she had her glasses knocked off!

Found the lens, and held it on my finger, only to find that to my horror, senior person picked right up with the cross-purposed and conclusion-leaping conversation. After about 10 minutes of holding the lens on my finger right in front of senior person, I had to interrupt and tell him that if I didn't clean it and put it back on soon, the lens would dry out. "Of course, of course!"

Ah - cheers. To Life and all it throw at us....

WOE is ME!

Feeling sorry for self as have caught cold! (sniff)

Cold has caused me to miss a birthday party (boo hoo), miss going swimming (again), and have little energy to do anything much (boo). Cold came on on Friday night (boo). On the up side, have slept 15 hours yesterday (yay), found some lonzenges that actually seem to have an effect (yay), watched the Brits fight the Gerries in an afternoon war movie (hoorah!), have had my brow mopped by nurse C-chan (yay) whose expertise in the area of my cold is enhanced by the fact that he is coming out the tail end of the exact same cold.

Will I ever rise again? Only time will tell.

It's all in your jeans...

My current pair of jeans is wearing out.

Last time I bought a pair of jeans, it was astoundingly easy… I went into the store, found some jeans that were the same style number as last time, tried on the same size and they fitted! Better still, they had some jeans that were not only my size, but my length, which saved me from having to get the jeans altered to fit my shorter-than-average legs. “Fantastic!” I thought! They are now making shorter length jeans, and next time I buy jeans, I can go and buy this exact style and I’ll be able to practically walk out of the shop with them on. I was thrilled, having never had this happen to me before. I have spent the past 2 or so years content in the knowledge that jeans-shopping would never be hard ever again.

But I was sadly wrong…I recently went to jeans store and sought out “my” correct jeans style. First worry - they looked different. After a check with the shop assistant, this particular style of jeans had:
- changed style (despite keeping the same number) to be much higher-waisted
- no longer came in shorter length
- no longer came with button fly option

The first feelings of panic set in. I pushed aside memories of teenage clothes shopping traumas, and decided to try them on anyway, ignoring stick thin shop assistants’ suggestion that I might like to try the larger size. The jeans that had so easily covered my curves 2 years ago now pushed things in where they shouldn’t be and were dreadfully uncomfortable (and no, I haven’t put on weight). Looking at other jeans shops for next couple of hours was fruitless – could not find jeans that flattered me and were a nice colour and style (let alone length). It seems the style of jeans that suits me is no longer in style. Where does that leave me for the next fashion cycle, I wonder?

Most probably jean-less. I think I’m going to explore other options for my casual lower-half outer wear. But my search does raise a few (I think) pertinent questions:

Why would a common brand of jeans give a style of jeans an easily remembered number, only to change that style every couple of years anyway, removing the usefulness of the number? Why not make it clear you are bringing out an entirely new range of styles?

Why do clothing chains uses the word “Jean” in their title as if they are a one-stop-jean-shop, yet mostly sell tops, shorts and skirts, and not cater for the full range of body shapes and leg lengths in their jean range?

How does anyone sit down comfortably wearing high-waisted jeans?

C-chan and Merry Risa's christmas road trip to Adelaide

or - "There and back again..."

The drive there...
Within an hour of leaving home, we witnessed a bizarre smash on the road, in which a car careened into the back of a semi @ 120kph (prob'ly asleep at the wheel) and the semi went on driving as if he didn't even know he'd been hit. This did much to unsettle our poor nerves, and meant that we had to set aside our new Burt Bacharach compilation for a few hours until happy music seemed appropriate again. The first day was v eventful, with bibical scale locust plagues, cows on the road, Ruth Rendell CD-novel murder mysteries, and temperatures in the high 30's as we made our way to Mildura for the first night .

Arrive at the city of churches and after many family reunions, we start to slide into holiday mode. Went to Victor Harbour, relaxed in a pool, on the tennis court, played with nephew, caught up with brother and Mi-chan, and incredible shrinking parents (parents have both been losing weight).

Back to 'delaide for much to-ing and fro-ing between parents' houses, allergic reactions to pets and dust on sofa beds, and poor communication between all parties about what is going on, when. (We are going to stay in Siddonee for Christmas this year, we've decided). Watched tense, Mother/daughter-in-Law dynamics evolve everywhere we looked. My god, why can’t mother-in-laws let partner/wife of their sons do things their way and accept it as being “different” rather than “wrong”? Why do people lose their ability to put "issues" in perspective where extended families are concerned? I guess it's one of those things that will never change.

The nephew...
Oh how cute yet exhausting. Best moments include:
- nephew bowing (Japanese style) at mannequin dressed as airline pilot outside travel agent
- 5 fully grown adults dancing to ABBA at 11pm in effort to wear out 20 month old, but only suceeding in wearing selves out.
- look of pure delight on his face has he has his first proper swim in the ocean @ Balmoral. Didn't want to get out, despite lips going blue.

I have decided that being an Auntie is fun – you get to try out being a parent, without the full responsibility (no nappy changing). Can act like a silly git, and most of the time a sub-two-year-old will laugh at you adoringly.

Home again, home again, jiggeldy jig!
Drive back home was uneventful, save a spectacularly stuffed up pub meal, in which…

Meal took over an hour to produce, despite there being only 2 other parties in the dining area. Our 2 steak sandwiches somehow got served to someone else, who apparently didn’t realize it wasn’t their lamb cutlets and chicken kiev (how???). Waitress looked extremely stressed, and offered us the latter meals, which was not a good compromise given the lamb cutlets were DEEP FRIED (I kid you not), and so possibly was the Chicken Kiev (although it could have been bathed in oil before baking).

Things now getting ridiculously late, embarrassing and irritating (staff had no skills to deal with mixed up orders), we asked for part of our money back and took the chicken, thinking we could at least cut the chicken out from greasey casing. But we were WRONG WRONG WRONG!! C-chan cut into it, and grease poured out, putting at risk the only remaining edible foods on the dish (cauliflower cheese, chips, carrot, baked potato). Ate what we could and snuck out the side door….

Crap Editorial alert!!!

Shame on this person for writing trash like this:

"Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution
may be to blame."

A new study by psychology researchers at the
University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going
for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than
women who are supervisors.

What defeatist, unbalanced drivel. How come most of the men I know who are married wouldn't settle for anything less than a woman who they find intellectually inspiring? One could easily argue, from reading historical novels or biographies, that there ahs always been part of the male population who has sought intellectually inspiring women as partners. Why didn't author bother to interview these types of people? How can someone go to a dinner party and meet one successful woman who can't meet any decent men, see a few films along the same theme, and use this as a basis for writing a story as if it is a statistically proven trend?

Bah! Someone alert Media Watch!

A small thing to get off my chest...

Sometimes I get cc’d in on emails in which I am the only female, and the first line is addressed: “Good afternoon, Gentlemen,”.

How rude is that? If you’re going to be all formal, is it that hard to insert “and Lady” at the end of your sentence?? Have not, to date, paid these particular men back with an email commencing with “good afternoon, Ladies”. I know I should make a witty comment about the somewhat dubious title of honorary bloke that seems to have been thrust upon me, but when? where? and will it be taken the wrong way by the generally male industry partners who are so generously funding our research?!! I usually end up getting on with things after a minute of private fuming! Think I’m possibly better off aspiring to be a competent female in a male dominated field who lets comments like that slide off her… BUT JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME, IT GIVES ME THE S*&%$S!!