My God, I am a walking talking pregnancy cliché. Morning sickness with a vengeance. Whatever I did wrong, dear Gods, that I must be punished for, please forgive me. I have suffered enough (1 week!), and I repent fully for the time I teased Callum Brown (not his real surname) in Year 7 for having a name that sounded like “Gollum”. Pretty witty for an 11-year-old, eh? But still terrible of me, and I’m truly sorry.

My mother never had it, but I had been forewarned that your mother’s experience has no bearing on your own. My poor work collegue had it from the second month right up to the birth. Fingers crossed that mine will be more fleeting.

It started last week, with general queasiness most of the time, but nothing more. “pff! Morning sickness? Should be more like mild motion sickness, not related to mornings or being in motion. I can handle this…” I thought.

But yesterday, sadly, that changed. Yes, I had my first true episode of being ill in the morning. But then I felt better the rest of the day. Still seemed manageable.

BUT THEN, things got worse this morning. I was ill again this morning, but thought that would be the end of it, as per yesterday. However, my drive to work was never comfortable. Alas, things felt a little more desperate as my car was not 10 minutes from work… Pulled over as soon as was practical, but not soon enough. Oh yes, imagine almost the worst thing that can happen… projectile vomiting out the car door, but not before getting some on your pants!! Luckily, I hadn’t eaten anything yet. Must investigate my options for management of my condition.

Now I have a few worries:
- Someone at work may have been driving past at that moment… Please no!!
- It may happen at a painfully obvious time at work
- If it gets worse, I may have trouble covering my tracks pre-announcement. A guy that sits next to me is a father of 4 and his wife is a midwife. He can smell a pregnancy a mile off.

Note later on in day: eating potato crisps helped a lot!