Hero dream!

Last night I dreamed: I was at some night time swimming party in a lake by someone’s house. My parents were there, along with random people from my subconscious (but no one in my life today). We were all jumping off a diving board into a lake, and when it was my turn, I jumped and did a trick where I caught the board with my hands and sprung back up again. I looked at my parents, and they were giving me a look as if I was being a show off and they weren’t really that impressed. So I let go and fell into the water and started swimming back to shore.

Then I heard someone in distress. Cool as a cucumber, I remembered my recent swim instructor training, materialised a flotation device, and swam towards the person who had called out. There turned out to be 2 of them, one was Karina who went to school with me but I never really liked, and I single-handedly swam them back to shore and made sure they were safe. They said thanks, and I said “no problem – I just recently did some training in this area and knew exactly what to do”.

This is the first time I’ve ever had a dream where I was a hero!! Cool! I’m not taking it literally, but am curious about what it means… Think it has something to do with learning a new skill, and handling a difficult situation in the right way, and must be something to do with what happened yesterday (could either be doing some ironing for the first time in years last night, or the way I handled something at work yesterday).

TV gives you nightmares… don’t watch it!!

Am watching “Carnivale” on the national broadcaster and loving it… the freaky events of a carnival – with midget, bearded lady, fortune-telling tarot readers, and healers who can channel life forces from one living thing to another - travelling around America’s south during the Great Depression, and a parallel story of preacher’s rise to fame at the same time… Except the preacher is possessed and only a few people know, and anyone else who finds out tends to end up dead… Last night was a particularly freaky episode. It’s really the only thing on television that I am watching at the moment.

But last night, I had trouble getting to sleep, and while I slipped in and out of consciousness, images of Brother Justin’s black possessed eyes willing another’s wisdom teeth to fall out with a gush of blood, a man’s head getting chopped off, and snake charmer woman being possessed with the spirit of the bearded lady’s dead lover just worked their way into my dream state and caused me to be a little scared!! This has not happened to me in a long time. Full points to the show for the experience it provides!

What!? Oh, it was all a dream...

Had a dream last night that I went into hospital to give birth, and woke up later with a baby. I'd somehow missed the whole labour process. I asked my Mum what went on, and there was some feeble excuse about something happening and me "going out like a light" and, well, here's the baby (which was miraculously already behaving like a 6-month old, and already able to respond to me with monosyllabic words!).

The next question I had for my family around me was do I have a boy or a girl, as my Mum had respected our wishes and kindly dressed the bub in Unisex clothes. They kind of looked at each other, then told me that we didn't know - this one had even the Dr stumped. In the dream, I deduced that the baby was either intergender, or a female with larger than usual genetalia. However, it wasn't that great an issue, as now I had this cute baby to play with and feed, and in my dream I was experimenting with express pumps and showing the baby off to work collegues (not at the same time). Of course, everyone was asking whether it was a boy or girl, and I said we didn't know yet, and we didn't have a name for it either.

How interesting. I think this was my subconscious playing "what if..." with me. I have the 18-19 week ultrasound coming up in a few weeks, and we might be able to find out the gender of the child - I wasn't sure I wanted/needed to know, but after having that dream I suddenly want to know!!

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This morning is a cool, breezy respite from the hot mugginess we've had for the past couple of days. Might cool down the hot-heads organising riots around the country (it's spread to Melbourne now, with a couple of Santa's getting bashed up on Lygon St). The great thing about this weather is you can wash all your bedding and get it all dry in a couple of hours - not an easy thing for someone who has no back yard, let alone Hills hoist, and has philosophical objections to using the clothes dryer that came with the flat (not to mention a summer aversion the extra heat it generates).

At this time of the week (before 7am Sundays) Newtown is at its quietest. A similar kind of not-a-soul-to-be-found eerieness that was on the streets just before the Olympic opening ceremony. What am I doing up? Well at present I'm a timezone freakozoid, crashing on the couch soon after 8:30pm and waking up with the sun between 5 and 6am. Can't help it - might as well get up and get stuff done. I'm so behind on my xmas cards this year, that I'm going to resort on some last minute xmas emails, that will take more time than sending cards, but will at least reach people in time. Or maybe I'll just send late cards and hope people don't feel unloved in between xmas day and when the cards finally arrive? At least we have made, painted and erected our cardboard xmas tree! It slots together and is sitting on our coffee table. With luck, we'll be able to dissemble it without wrecking it, and store it flat for next year!

top sleepy time albums

In no particular order, here are my favourite albums for getting off to sleep. At the most, the album will only have 1 song that you need to program out because it always wakes you up:

* In the Wee Small Hours - Frank Sinatra
* Skylarking or Apple Venus - XTC
* Bladerunner (soundtrack) - Vangelis
* Music for Airports - Brian Eno
* Moon Safari (minus Sexy Boy) - Air
* Five Leaves Left - Nick Drake
* Painted from Memory - Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach

The diverse happenings of the past week...

From Tupperwear (sic) parties, to strange dreams about pet monkeys, to vocabulary I never knew my father had...

Yes folks, always one for new experiences, I went to a Tupperwear (sic) party. Sort of situation where you're not quite sure if you are really getting a bargain, you kind of feel obliged to buy because you're face to face with the saleswoman (who is full of handy storage ideas including removing EVERYTHING out of the packets you bought them in and placing them in a stackable container with a lid and a little labelling sticker!), unless you are able to export your brain outside of your friend's living room far enough to remember that other brands of plastic ware are 1/3 the price at your supermarket, never wear out either, and that you never had the need for containers that you can freeze, heat in the microwave, then pop in the dishwasher.

Last night I dreamed I had a pet monkey that I had not spent enough time with, so it was naughty and behaved unpredictably. I started spending more time training it to behave, and gradually started to notice its behaviour changing to a more adorable, manageable pet. Last night was very "dreamful", with this just being one of 4 "storylines" that I remember dreaming about, including: a project to booby trap a door, my parents splitting up & my father not taking it well while my mother just got on with life, me going shopping in an arcade then returning after hours when noone else was there. I think the vivid dreams must be something to do with coming off cold and flu tablets???

My father shocked me a bit when telling me about some research he has been conducting into his mother's family history and extended family. He mentioned that my Granny's stepmother (who verged on being an evil stepmother) might have been "you know, a bit of a loose woman" who married my Granny's father under false pretenses!!! Never knew that phrase could come out of his mouth! [Mind you, he was deliberately useing the praseology of the 1920's, and I'm sure he would not apply such prases to women of my generation, but it's not a topic I usually discuss with my dad very often].

Finally, a loved one miscarried this week. Apparently it is quite common in the first trimester of pregnancy and didn't hurt much, but is disappointing for them all the same. Kaz Cooke's fantastic book "Up the Duff" tells me that between 1/8-1/4th of all pregancies might be miscarried...

Now, must go and tend the sick with lemon and honey drinks - I have recovered as of late yesterday, but now have a flu-ey C-chan!!

Off centre?

Had a dream last night that my belly button had moved half way to the left of my stomach. "No, no, it was definitely in the middle before, but now it is much closer to my left hand side than it was!!" I tried to convince C-chan in my dream....!

Had a dream the other night that I was on a rollerblading obstacle/orienteering course through the countryside – kind of like a corporate extracurricular thing. Had to climb over cyclone fences wearing the skates and everything!! Was in the company of mostly middle-aged men and occasionally their female partners, and C-chan was there with me for this part of the dream. Later, was going along a cliff alone with a gorge below but wasn’t sure if I’d taken the right path.

It seems I was on the right path to finish the race, and the race finished up at my Primary School oval having to do a lap to finish. Found I was actually amongst the first 20 to finish, but was suddenly only wearing a towel around my lower half. My movement felt extremely unnatural as I did this last lap clutching the towel and still wearing roller blades, I think? I somehow managed to finish, but I was just one of many in the race so no big deal and there was no one there to greet me.

What an uninspiring dream. Hardly needs interpretation – there are three themes:
- I am often the only female in my work meetings and teams (I knew that already, but maybe I should think about this some more)
- While what I’m doing at work is complex, everyone else I work with is working on equally complex stuff and everyone else is so busy also that what I do well doesn’t stand out… oh great I’m still a big kid looking for praise…
- I guess I’m struggling with certain things and worried these will be exposed (keeping towel on), yet am facing extraordinary challenges (e.g. rollerblading obstacle course)

Look forward to the next dream where I am effortlessly gliding through the ocean…

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Yay a new hobby!!

Yes there is life after work. Did a beading course at the shop under my apartment block on the weekend…. Learned to make a beaded necklacey thing. Am remaking the one I did in the course as was a bit short. Now have groovy green beads to wear with lime green top.

Hopefully strings of groovy beady bracelets and necklaces will result for all my loved ones!! That’s provided I actually show some skill in this area…

Get out of my dreams (and stay out of my car too)

Last night, I had a dream about spiders. Arachnids of all kinds are most unwelcome in my dreams, I tell you. I can still remember all too vividly the dream I had as a kid about giant spiders walking out of the house over the road from mine. In real life, I can't help but start at the sight of them, even if they are meters away, and not showing signs of being likely to rear their nippers up at me or take a leap my way. It seems that Arachnids are now the second recurring dream symbol that my subconsious likes to throw up every so often to make its point - the other symbol is the experience of being trapped underwater for a long time by a wave that breaks on me. Great.

In last night's dream, I was in a somewhat vulnerable position in a small room (not trying to be smutty here), then noticed that I was surrounded by several largish spiders that had somehow before escaped my notice. After some expert self-analysis, I have decided that spiders represent things that are most unwelcome in my life, and in this case, popped up quite suddenly.

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Forgive the obscure 80's song reference in this post's title, but you must be used me doing that by now.

Times of change = times of vivid dreaming

Not surprising to find that this time in my life - where lots of change is happening - that the vivid dreams start happening.

Last night, I dreamt that me and 3 men parachuted into WW2 Germany. Only problem was that when we landed, 2 of the men had plain kilts on. It occurred to me that they might stand out as being Scottish. We pressed on nonetheless, and went into a large store to buy supplies and plain coats. It then occurred to me that I was wearing a kilt also - tartan. I wondered if we could get away without being noticed. Suddenly the kilted men did a runner and everyone else was chasing them. The other man and I decided to go out the back way. I ran out into grassed areas and headed for the woods, now alone. I knew I had to get out, but only had a parachute!

Before you criticise my subconscious for its strangeness, there are a few symbolic things in that dream that I easily recognise for what they are... New job will almost definitely be male-dominated field. Parachute sybolises dropping into somewhere different - if you really think about it, my new work place is in some ways opposite to where I work now - "behind enemy lines". I suspect the male company and kilts are exploring the archetypal gender roles, and my degree of comfort when working with men and my own (male) animus.

Not so wierd now, eh? Was all in a WW2 setting because I have been reading and watching a lot about this topic over the past year. "Charlotte Gray", eat your heart out!

Can't focus on future role much in waking hours - so much to do before I leave, but my brain goes and does it in my sleep! Cool!