As you get closer to definitely leaving the place you work, your tolerance for it drops exponentially:
T(tol) = t-x + C
Where:
T(tol) is tolerance factor,
T is time,
x is the rate of change of tolerance, and,
C is the Contentedness Constant – the starting point of tolerance, which is influenced by a lot of factors, including competence of managers, pay, level of work overloaded, level of annoyingness of work colleagues/clientelle etc etc (covered by another equation all together).
I would draw and paste in a graph but I can't be ar**d. Not certain that I got my exponential factor right there (did I mean it to be 1/x???) and let's face it, I haven't used maths like that since 1995 or possibly earlier.
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Pregnant lady = public property???
I had some warning of this from some of the literature I’ve been reading, but at a party on Saturday night, I had my first instance of someone I just met (ie a complete stranger) putting their hand on my pregnant tummy without asking. As it turns out, I was a little bit surprised, but it wasn’t a big deal. Not enough of a big deal to me to say anything to them – and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with the awkward aftermath of someone feeling embarrassed. I just kind of put on a fake smile, coupled with crinkled forehead, that (hopefully) said “well this is an odd thing for you to be doing!”.
For the record – good friends are welcome to touch my belly; anyone else, I wouldn’t mind you just asking first and I’m likely to say yes unless I really took a big disliking to you. It really is just like any other part of the body, even though round and unusually located on my stomach. Kind of like going up and touching a mans’ beer gut but not as squishy. Some women get (rightfully) offended by being touched without being asked, and sometimes we just are tired or have indigestion, are bloated or have overstretched bellies and it’s not the time to be touchy feely.
28 February 2006
17 February 2006
Journal 16.2.2006
We started the whole clean-out thing on the weekend. Amazing what we have kept stashed in the past 3 years. I mean, which planet was I on when I kept that dress that I have never been comfortable in and worn a grand total of 3 times? And why do I still have the warranty and instruction manual for the camera that was stolen when our last place was broken into in 2002 (or was it 2001)? Clutter, clutter, clutter. We had 2 bursts of activity and achieved a lot – now just a few more things to rifle through and some decisions to make re whether to keep or buy a few key bits of furniture. I can't believe how much floor space is now visible!!
We now have a corner pegged out for the baby (that will have to do in this house), and now only have to get rid of our desk & perhaps we can start decorating around it. Having trouble concentrating at work, and given the amount of stuff there is to plan and do, it’s no wonder. I’d rather be out doing baby stuff! Budget department store catalogues with baby stuff on sale are catching my eye where they used to go straight to the recycling!!
Am hungry, hungry, hungry. It’s ridiculous how much I am eating. Baby must be having another growth spurt as am knackered a lot of the time also. I look down occasionally and think “Blimey! That belly is getting rounder and rounder!!”. Have had to get bigger computer screen at work so that I can sit further back from my desk. When I slop or spill things, it falls straight onto my belly (instead of lap), so have to be careful or may even have to invest in a bib!!
Prats who live downstairs, and keep entertaining late at night in their courtyard below our window haven’t been helping with the tiredness issue – they must not have to work 9-5 if at all (probably are students). When lying there unable to sleep I hatch plots for revenge (e.g. buying water balloons to hurl down at them, going down to intercom and buzzing them at 6:30am when I have to wake up), but not sure if that helps me sleep easier or would make them shut up.
Bub is becoming a champion kicker, and probably an elbower also. It’s a tad distracting, but not (yet) unwelcome. Can't wait to see what it looks like and how its personality develops and how fast it learns and it's first smile and words.
We now have a corner pegged out for the baby (that will have to do in this house), and now only have to get rid of our desk & perhaps we can start decorating around it. Having trouble concentrating at work, and given the amount of stuff there is to plan and do, it’s no wonder. I’d rather be out doing baby stuff! Budget department store catalogues with baby stuff on sale are catching my eye where they used to go straight to the recycling!!
Am hungry, hungry, hungry. It’s ridiculous how much I am eating. Baby must be having another growth spurt as am knackered a lot of the time also. I look down occasionally and think “Blimey! That belly is getting rounder and rounder!!”. Have had to get bigger computer screen at work so that I can sit further back from my desk. When I slop or spill things, it falls straight onto my belly (instead of lap), so have to be careful or may even have to invest in a bib!!
Prats who live downstairs, and keep entertaining late at night in their courtyard below our window haven’t been helping with the tiredness issue – they must not have to work 9-5 if at all (probably are students). When lying there unable to sleep I hatch plots for revenge (e.g. buying water balloons to hurl down at them, going down to intercom and buzzing them at 6:30am when I have to wake up), but not sure if that helps me sleep easier or would make them shut up.
Bub is becoming a champion kicker, and probably an elbower also. It’s a tad distracting, but not (yet) unwelcome. Can't wait to see what it looks like and how its personality develops and how fast it learns and it's first smile and words.
07 February 2006
Keeping house
An older woman I used to know (of my parent’s generation) and looked up to quite a bit once said the following about housework:
For the record, the same woman also was strongly of the opinion that:
To keep things in perspective, we’re not as bad as those people on "today tonight" who have rooms floor to ceiling full of junk overflowing into their back yard, attracting vermin and complaints from neighbours because of the visual eyesore!! But it is messier and less organised than we would like, which is the important matter here.
I’d rather my house was tidy with minimal maintenance required so I can be more preoccupied with important stuff – I don’t want clutter to interfere with my sense of mental order like it is currently. There are 2 options – firstly, get a cleaner between now and when the bub is born… a cleaner would keep the regular mess at bay, but is not really going to solve everything as we still need to get rid of a lot of stuff and rearrange our possessions to fit the changes a 3rd member of the household is going to require. My second – and more likely – option is to change my attitude to housework and make it a higher priority, and to do a little bit right away, and regularly.
This sounds like the most boring personal goal I could possibly ever conceive of! But there are other things to think about, like the additional chaos a baby is going to bring, and setting a good example for the little’un. We’ve decided to break down the big clean up into a series of small tasks, and hope to start on some of these this weekend.
In the morning when your brain is most productive, first do the things that areThis is coming from the perspective of someone who once perhaps was a stay-at-home mum with regular house cleaning schedule, moving back into working life. I have not been a stay-at-home mum yet, and have always been a bit of mess-pot. Regardless, over the past 7-8 years I embraced the attitude that “housework is unimportant compared to everything else” and now find my house in such a disordered state that it is stressing me out. Yes, I now realise that the intention of this quote is not “don’t bother with housework at all”, it is just saying “refocus your priorities so that housework is not at the fore”, which it really never has been for me.
important to you – read, work, plan, be creative – then make housework the thing
you do last.
For the record, the same woman also was strongly of the opinion that:
If your house is in disorder, what can you expect your guests to think of yourOur house is so messy lately that a big clean up is in order. The mess is exacerbated due to the smallness of our house. This is both of our faults (although C-chan is naturally tidier than me), as we both have a habit of stashing things in piles and thinking “we’ll sort that out later”. Then a few weeks later, there are countless “deal with me later” piles appearing on coffee tables, dinner table, desk, kitchen bench, and on the floor that are suddenly saying “deal with me now” but you can’t because you are too busy right then…
mental state?
To keep things in perspective, we’re not as bad as those people on "today tonight" who have rooms floor to ceiling full of junk overflowing into their back yard, attracting vermin and complaints from neighbours because of the visual eyesore!! But it is messier and less organised than we would like, which is the important matter here.
I’d rather my house was tidy with minimal maintenance required so I can be more preoccupied with important stuff – I don’t want clutter to interfere with my sense of mental order like it is currently. There are 2 options – firstly, get a cleaner between now and when the bub is born… a cleaner would keep the regular mess at bay, but is not really going to solve everything as we still need to get rid of a lot of stuff and rearrange our possessions to fit the changes a 3rd member of the household is going to require. My second – and more likely – option is to change my attitude to housework and make it a higher priority, and to do a little bit right away, and regularly.
This sounds like the most boring personal goal I could possibly ever conceive of! But there are other things to think about, like the additional chaos a baby is going to bring, and setting a good example for the little’un. We’ve decided to break down the big clean up into a series of small tasks, and hope to start on some of these this weekend.
TV gives you nightmares… don’t watch it!!
Am watching “Carnivale” on the national broadcaster and loving it… the freaky events of a carnival – with midget, bearded lady, fortune-telling tarot readers, and healers who can channel life forces from one living thing to another - travelling around America’s south during the Great Depression, and a parallel story of preacher’s rise to fame at the same time… Except the preacher is possessed and only a few people know, and anyone else who finds out tends to end up dead… Last night was a particularly freaky episode. It’s really the only thing on television that I am watching at the moment.
But last night, I had trouble getting to sleep, and while I slipped in and out of consciousness, images of Brother Justin’s black possessed eyes willing another’s wisdom teeth to fall out with a gush of blood, a man’s head getting chopped off, and snake charmer woman being possessed with the spirit of the bearded lady’s dead lover just worked their way into my dream state and caused me to be a little scared!! This has not happened to me in a long time. Full points to the show for the experience it provides!
But last night, I had trouble getting to sleep, and while I slipped in and out of consciousness, images of Brother Justin’s black possessed eyes willing another’s wisdom teeth to fall out with a gush of blood, a man’s head getting chopped off, and snake charmer woman being possessed with the spirit of the bearded lady’s dead lover just worked their way into my dream state and caused me to be a little scared!! This has not happened to me in a long time. Full points to the show for the experience it provides!
02 February 2006
lesson in good grace and patience....
"Oh! When are you due?"
"How far along are you?"
"Do you know if you're having a boy or girl yet?"
"When do you finish work?"
"Is it your first?"
"Have you had any cravings?"
"Is it the first grandchild in your family?"
"My wife/sister/niece/daughter/good friend is expecting in a few months!"
"Are you moving house or buying a new car? That's usually a sign that someone's expecting" (nodding knowingly)
"You must be decking your house out with baby stuff then?"
"One thing I can advise you is to not buy ____ (inevitably something you already have), because we had one and only used it once"
"You'll wish you never had them in a few month's time!!"
"Oh, you're big/small/popping out, aren't you?"
"How long are you taking off work?"
"How ARE you?" "fine" "no, I mean with your condition?" "still fine"
-----------------------
Once it is out there that you are pregnant, you get questions from EVERYONE, including people I usually only have a professional relationship with. Obviously my willingless to discuss these things with people depends on my relationship with them and whether or not they ask one of the few questions I am a bit sensitive about. Purely social friends there isn't really an issue discussing these things. This is getting to be a lesson in tolerance for me - I hope I am beginning to score well in smiling graciously, giving answers as appropriate to my relationship without rippling the waters, and politely telling people when I'm not prepared to answer what they've asked for whatever reason. And sussing out when some people are really just wanting to learn what it's all like (e.g. younger females/other couples considering conceiving), rather than being nosey parkers (the office gossip).
The lovely thing about this is how it binds you to women everywhere who have had babies. Mother, Mother-in-law, grandmother, sister-in-law, friends, loose acquaintances, collegues... random women in the street looking at your belly and smiling. You get to hear their accounts of motherhood. Sometimes you hear a bit too much information (e.g. flesh tearing during childbirth... ugh! I know it happens but still have trouble taking that in). You get to hear about the whole spectrum of experiences, the things that go wrong or go better than expected. Bring it on!!
Men are a different, and vary in their sensitivity to and involvement with the whole issue of parenthood and how a pregnant woman may be feeling. I inwardly laugh at the young men at the gym who look a bit... not horrified... but kind of dumbfounded when I walk past them, like they just don't know what to think. Outside your immediate friends and relatives, it kind of depends how much babies have featured in their lives recently. Fatherly or Grandfatherly-minded men are generally very excited for you!
The nice thing is how many well-wishings you get from everyone. And the help you get with carrying, lifting, opening doors etc. Ever the independent chick, I'm suprised to find I do appreciate this assistance, as I'm not as strong/fit/streamlined/energetic as I used to be! (In fact, that is probably how what we consider old-fashioned behaviour evolved in society).
"How far along are you?"
"Do you know if you're having a boy or girl yet?"
"When do you finish work?"
"Is it your first?"
"Have you had any cravings?"
"Is it the first grandchild in your family?"
"My wife/sister/niece/daughter/good friend is expecting in a few months!"
"Are you moving house or buying a new car? That's usually a sign that someone's expecting" (nodding knowingly)
"You must be decking your house out with baby stuff then?"
"One thing I can advise you is to not buy ____ (inevitably something you already have), because we had one and only used it once"
"You'll wish you never had them in a few month's time!!"
"Oh, you're big/small/popping out, aren't you?"
"How long are you taking off work?"
"How ARE you?" "fine" "no, I mean with your condition?" "still fine"
-----------------------
Once it is out there that you are pregnant, you get questions from EVERYONE, including people I usually only have a professional relationship with. Obviously my willingless to discuss these things with people depends on my relationship with them and whether or not they ask one of the few questions I am a bit sensitive about. Purely social friends there isn't really an issue discussing these things. This is getting to be a lesson in tolerance for me - I hope I am beginning to score well in smiling graciously, giving answers as appropriate to my relationship without rippling the waters, and politely telling people when I'm not prepared to answer what they've asked for whatever reason. And sussing out when some people are really just wanting to learn what it's all like (e.g. younger females/other couples considering conceiving), rather than being nosey parkers (the office gossip).
The lovely thing about this is how it binds you to women everywhere who have had babies. Mother, Mother-in-law, grandmother, sister-in-law, friends, loose acquaintances, collegues... random women in the street looking at your belly and smiling. You get to hear their accounts of motherhood. Sometimes you hear a bit too much information (e.g. flesh tearing during childbirth... ugh! I know it happens but still have trouble taking that in). You get to hear about the whole spectrum of experiences, the things that go wrong or go better than expected. Bring it on!!
Men are a different, and vary in their sensitivity to and involvement with the whole issue of parenthood and how a pregnant woman may be feeling. I inwardly laugh at the young men at the gym who look a bit... not horrified... but kind of dumbfounded when I walk past them, like they just don't know what to think. Outside your immediate friends and relatives, it kind of depends how much babies have featured in their lives recently. Fatherly or Grandfatherly-minded men are generally very excited for you!
The nice thing is how many well-wishings you get from everyone. And the help you get with carrying, lifting, opening doors etc. Ever the independent chick, I'm suprised to find I do appreciate this assistance, as I'm not as strong/fit/streamlined/energetic as I used to be! (In fact, that is probably how what we consider old-fashioned behaviour evolved in society).
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