24 September 2006

Eat your heart out Florence...

Nightingale that is.

Unlikely to post for a while - now not only have a baby to care for but also a fully grown man whose back is not behaving itself. The following would be great:

- the number for rent-an-auntie (you know, the kind who pops around with a casserole so you don't have to cook for a few nights, and whips around with the vacuum cleaner, and minds the baby while you pop out for those much needed groceries)

- a genie (but everyone knows they don't really exist)

- my mum (currently in Japan, looking after my brother's family)

- C-chan's Mum (coming for a brief period next week for what would have been C-chan's graduation but it looks like he'll miss the ceremony now)

See you when I come up for air.

20 September 2006

Bitch with an itch

For those of you who haven't seen me, I must reveal that I am one to suffer from the eczema. At certain times of the year (such as now, the hayfever season...), my skin flares up on some obvious places... around my eyes and on my throat, and on my hands. And like any condition that is obvious, people think that gives them a licence to offer (extremely) unqualified advice... From people I know, this can be a bit torturous - I have to smile and nod and wait until the conversation reaches its natural end, all the while bearing in mind that they care and are only trying to help. However, complete strangers, who I can only think don't give a toss about me, still throw me their two bobs worth.

I have never resorted to saying point blank "I don't want to talk about it and don't want your amateur advice", but sometimes I get close after an extremely frustrating set of "suggestions". The conversation usually starts like this:

"Oooh! what's that rash on your (insert body part)?"
"Eczema"
"Oh!" (pause while they think.... here it comes, any second now....) "Have you tried (insert wonder cure-all that I just MUST try)?"

My answer is either "yes", "yes but it doesn't work for me" or "no, but that is for another skin condition such as soriasis which is a different disease altogether". And by now, my physical reaction to them broaching the topic is usually the equivalent to a cat having their back arched, hair on end, and claws clenched.

But sadly, the conversation rarely ends there! These people seem to always get me pinned where I can't get away... at a meeting where I'm temporarily standing away from the group doing something, when I'm changing E-chan's nappy, when I'm purchasing something from their shop... otherwise I'd just smile politely and go somewhere else.

"My sister in law's cousin tried blahdy-blah blah and it worked a treat" (good for her)
"Is it itchy?" (no I'm just scratching as a conversation starter)
"I hear these kinds of conditions are linked to stress" (you can piss right off right now and stop making judgements about my mental condition)

I have decided I need a change in approach to nip this conversation on the bud before it starts. I have tried everything over the years to get people to shut up about it, and I can honestly say noone giving this unasked-for advice ever has any experience with persistent adult eczema, nor has offered any advice that has helped. Lately I have taken to asking them what they know about the condition and lecturing them with the latest, and that there are three broad aspects to being eczema-free:-

- not being born with the genes that seem to make you vulnerable

- avoiding the cause (for me, mostly airborn allergens such as dustmites, ryegrass pollen, mould, and possibly some food chemicals found in processed AND natural foods, avoiding which is impossible to do without living in a bubble!)

- then giving your many layers of skin a chance to grow through undamaged by avoiding irritants (have you ever tried not using any detergents?), and constantly moisturising with unscented emolients which from trial and error you find don't make matters worse.

Strangely, perhaps realising that getting rid of eczema isn't straightforward, at this point they do tend to shut up...

19 September 2006

The Amazing Nighttime Adventures of Microman

It's 4.00am, and Mother was awoken by Microman making noises in his cot in the next room. In her half asleep state, she waited a minute or two to see whether something really is the matter, or whether Microman has simply decided it was time to have a play*. Microman made a few odd sounds, so Mother decided it was time to get up and investigate. She wearily pads over to Microman's room...

"Oooh! I didn't leave you like that when I put you to bed!!" exclaimed Mother, astounded to find Microman at a 90 degree angle to his normal sleeping direction, and half way up his cot!! In addition, he was completely uncovered!
"Gooo!" cooed Microman, with a cute upside-down smile, then proceeded to suck at his hands. He was completely happy!

Mother picked him up for a quick cuddle to help resettle him before rewrapping him for sleep, then decided to check his nappy. Microman wriggled like crazy on the change table, writhing from left to right, kicking up his legs and lifting up his bum. All the while, Microman made such cute noises and pulled such adorable faces that Mother found it very hard to not crack a smile herself**.

Finally, Mother re-wrapped Microman in his cotton wrap, stroked his adorable little head, put on some soothing noises to help him to sleep, and headed back to bed. Hopefully, there would be a few more hours of sleep before he awoke again, wanting to play and then feed...


*E-chan has recently taken to waking up at this unsociable hour for no other reason than to play. He's not hungry because he doesn't cry out for food, but sometimes does require a nappy change...
** This is the cardinal rule of what not to do when trying to settle a child who needs to get some sleep but is being stubborn and verging into "overtired" territory. They are so encouraged by this that they think it really is time to play...

------------------

The fun is starting... E-chan is learning to move where he wants to go, and is only a few days from being able to roll onto his tummy. Soon the days of finding him where I left him will be gone forever!!

12 September 2006

testing the boundaries

Wow - we must be getting into the swing of this parenthood thing for now*.

On Friday I went out with another mum and it was the FIRST TIME I have been away from E-chan for more than about an hour. Yep - I nipped away once to have my hair cut, and another time for an appointment regarding my post-natal gumpy leg (which is fine now, thanks). And a few short trips to the shop for milk or take-away. The rest of the time, he has been sleeping only metres away from me in his cot or in the pram. So how did it go? OK. I missed him a bit, but knew he was in C-chan's capable hands. Luckily, just about everyone I was with had at least one child, and it was a sympathetic environment to be in. So it seems I can have the odd night out without baby for now*.

On top of that, we completed E-chan's transition from bassinet to cot (he was waking up headbutting the end of the bassinet sometimes, which was worrying us given babies generally have no skull at the top of their heads for the first year of life). We moved his room around to improve the layout somewhat. He seems to love his cot for now*!!

We also cleaned out the flat, vacuumed, washed, cooked AND we entertained! Dr J and Angel were brave enough to be dinner guests given the potential for screaming baby, however, E-chan was contented it seems and just fed and slept after 8:30 or so, and goo'd and gaa'd for the rest of the time they were over. So it seems we can entertain at home for now*.

We also made it out to Parramatta way for a BBQ a few weeks back which indicates slightly longer trips out to visit friends is managable for now*.

Today, for our biggest challenge yet, we'll go to a mums and bubs session at the movies. Not sure how E-chan will manage, as he can be one of the squirmiest babies I know when awake. Wish us luck...


* nb always insert "for now" as disclaimer, as babies seem to change habits just as you are working out what their routines are...

09 September 2006

Big fambilies

Last night, I went out with a new friend who's from a HUUUUGE family. I realised that large families have mystified me in the past somewhat. I come from a smallish family (4) that is geographically isolated from cousins, granparents, aunties, Uncles etc. Close, but small.

People from large families always have things to go to on the weekend, and it seems they can never fit you into their schedule. If you're lucky you'll see them once or twice a year, fleetingly, and everyone else will be trying to talk to them too so you end up only talking to them for a few minutes. They run away to Vegas to get married instead of having to invite 300 guests to their wedding, which is understandable (I know 2 couples from large families who have done this now!). Little old me has often thought of these busy people: "oh, they don't really want to see me, they have enough people in their life already...".

Last night I went to a lingerie* party with a new friend who has a little bub a few weeks older than E-chan and lives around the corner. She's a warm person, who seems to have a lot of friendliness to offer everyone. Party was mostly populated with her cousins or cousin's partners - turns out she has 26 cousins and three siblings. Her family christmas gatherings usually have 40 or so adults plus however many kids in attendance. I suppose what I'm realising is that if you are from a big happy family, you can just make more room for people in your life. You are accustomed to a lot of people knowing about what is going on in your life. Kind of like my parents making room for each new grandchild in their life - each of them is "gorgeous", "precious" and cuddleable.

I've never wanted a big family for various reasons, but I'm beginning to see the good bits. I'm aiming for a big family of people who aren't necessarily related to me... Lots of alternative role models for E-chan etc etc.

* ridiculously expensive despite skipping retail floor space step in supply chain, therefore didn't buy anything.

08 September 2006

Unexpected delights of parenthood

Warm, soft, little heads against your cheeks... big, wide toothless grins... smooth smooth skin... recognition of you before anyone else as a person who can stop their cries with a cuddle... being told they look like you... baby talk... having their little heads go heavy on your shoulder or chest when they fall asleep... smiling at you when half-asleep and...
watching them asleep in their cot...
:)

03 September 2006

Transformative cover versions...

I get tickled pink when an artist takes a song, gives it a thorough makeover, and ends up with another version of the song that makes you think about the intended meaning of the lyrics, laugh with delight, twists the gender around or is just a damn lot better than the original.

Here's a few cover versions that stand out to me - feel free to add some of your own...(and here's hoping I don't break any of Betty Sue's reviewing rules along the way):

Winners!

Stop! in the name of love: Bang Gang recently did a version of this 60's Supremes hit. Instead of a soul music style, it's got a jangly guitar and folky voice; and the lyrics don't change, but it's sung by a man. Result: you're not sure if the male singer is in a relationship with a bisexual male or female. I find this version catchier than the original, and have sung along to it in the car many times.

Respect: Imagine my suprise when I found out that the first to record this song was not soul diva Aretha Franklin, but soul king Otis Redding. The original version was a bit of a suprise to me: imagine a bombastic fast paced soul track, with fast trumpets and trombones in between phrases, with words along the lines of: "you betta show me some respect woman, havin' dinner ready when I get home late at night..." (making it up here, but you get the picture - this guy was stuck in the Dark Ages...) Then along comes Aretha. Loosens up the song, slows the tempo, adds some female backing singers.... Transforms the whole song into an anthem for the feminist movement, that sticks two fingers up at the original version of the song. Pure genius.

Comfortably Numb: Never was much into "Prog Rock", therefore only have some vague memory of the original Fink Ployd version of the song from some long distant ex-boyfriend's CD collection. I think it was a bit slow and guitary, with smokey vocals. Enter the Scissor Sisters, with their fast castrato vocal disco Bee Gees style version that makes you want to dance around the lounge room (well if that's the only place you tend to dance these days).

Ticket to Ride: This Beatles classic was always about someone worrying that their love was one-sided; that any minute, their lover was going to take off with someone else. But it was somewhat disguised by the edgy rock and roll beat, and managed to sound almost euphoric. Then along came The Carpenters*. Piano background, slower pace, and Karen Carpenters' perfectly enunciated, pure as snow melancholic voice... "I think I'm gonna be sad, I think it's today... the boy who's driving me mad is going away... He's got a ticket to ride, and he don't care...". This version is perfect for rainy afternoons spent reminiscing about relationships of yesterday...

Hard Rain: This straightly-delivered, folky song of Bob Dylan's was given a good going over by Bryan Ferry. You'd never notice it was written as a protest against the Vietnam war - instead, this version of the song is done in a kind of glam/doo-wop style. With electric guitars, female backing vocalists, and an even 4:4 beat. Kind of in the same style as Leonard Cohen's "First we take Manhatten".

One Man Guy: Loudon Wainwright wrote this song about being his own man. A generation later, his son Rufus Wainright recorded the song, but Rufus' sexual orientation lends a new meaning to the words, implying that he is singing about fidelity; not being the type to sleep around.


Duds

Something: We were rifling through C-chan's father's Frank Sinatra record set and found a record from later in Sinatra's career where he murders I mean covers this Beatles song. It's plain awful. Treacley, pompous and stilted. Shouldn't have messed with the original, which captures beautifully the feelings and insecurities of being in the earlier phases of a love affair. Perhaps Sinatra was too big and famous at this stage to remember what it was like to be insecure?

I Got You Babe: I've added this one only because I want to have a whinge about UB40. I don't think the original Sonny and Cher version of this song is anything to blog home about, and hence don't think that UB40's version is comparatively worse. It's just that UB40 got away with being a $100-an-hour reggae style party band and not writing any of their own material. Well nothing that became a hit anyway. They do so many cover versions in this style that it becomes unimaginative (red red wine, I can't help falling in love with you etc etc).

*(we are not ashamed of our CD collection!!)