That's right. Position cancelled. Exploring options. Budgetting to see what is worst case scenario and how much of our savings will might have to dip into in that instance.
Because my salary is the variable factor in the household income, the best case scenario is that I get 3 days a week at the same salary rate as before. There is a glimmer of a option here, in that a full time position is available in my old office at the same salary rate. Mentioned that I might apply to new boss, despite his aversion to part time places, stating that I could walk straight into the role without training and I don't mind sharing a desk. Boss responded more positively, and told me I should talk to the relevant sub-manager. Thanks to workmate Anna for tip-off there. This still depends on them accepting me as part time in addition to full time person, or adjusting the position somehow to accomodate me, which could be a bit of a stretch. We'll see.
Other options are applying for best possible part time position, and supplement income with weekend work such as swim training. This requires a lot of effort from me in coming month to get accredited, but is possible. Other supplementary option is casual work for people I know who are in a position to offer it to me. Getting more and more long-shot here.
So there we go. Now I must hop to it.
24 January 2007
Nuisance!
Thanks to those who expressed sympathy regarding nuisance below. That is how I regard it - career going "bung" is something I half expected and was prepared for when I got on this wild ride to parenthood, so previous post title is meant as a joke.
It's a nuisance, because it's so much easier to know what the future holds if you have secure, confirmed employment to go back to. Easier to arrange which days you child can go to childcare, easier to budget, and easier to prepare yourself for any changes you might have to make such as moving to a place with cheaper rent.
If you don't have secure, confirmed employment to go back to, you have to juggle job application, interviews, arranging child care, and all the above within a short timespan. Some of the mum's in my mother's group had no maternity leave pay, but employers have been most accomodating in arranging for them to come back to work (probably to make up for lack of former), and I'm beginning to think that in some ways this is better, in a society where maternity leave pay is neither standardised nor compulsory.
It's a nuisance, because it's so much easier to know what the future holds if you have secure, confirmed employment to go back to. Easier to arrange which days you child can go to childcare, easier to budget, and easier to prepare yourself for any changes you might have to make such as moving to a place with cheaper rent.
If you don't have secure, confirmed employment to go back to, you have to juggle job application, interviews, arranging child care, and all the above within a short timespan. Some of the mum's in my mother's group had no maternity leave pay, but employers have been most accomodating in arranging for them to come back to work (probably to make up for lack of former), and I'm beginning to think that in some ways this is better, in a society where maternity leave pay is neither standardised nor compulsory.
23 January 2007
My career goes "bung"!
Some may remember some of the issues that I faced during my pregnancy due to the fact that I was on a contract and had to sit an interview when my pregnancy was full term!
Well a lot has happened in this time, and my employer gave me my job even though I was to be on maternity leave for the duration of my contract, allowing me to receive the best maternity leave pay I am aware of in the country (ie 36/52 weeks paid for). My boss even approved me coming back 3 days a week without hesitation!
So with some financial security for the timebeing, and much more important things to thing about (ie the BABY), I promptly forgot about work for a bit. I didn't want to worry about it, and quite frankly, didn't care enough to. Every now and then, a little niggle at the back of my mind went "Meri Risa, you may not have a job to go back to! They may finally get around to restructuring your department, and your position may not fit in with how things are run under the New Order! What will you do if you can't get your old job back?!"
Then, late last year, child care and returning back to work became a more frequent discussion topic at my mum's group. Some mothers are having to return back to work about now, or are trying to secure child care places. It became time to act. I started to make meetings with my bosses, one of whom had started working AFTER I went on Mat leave and I had only met with once briefly. First boss met with me quickly, appeared to not have thought any of the practicalities through much (typical) and after a long, nice friendly chat about nothing much at all, said he'd get back to me shortly, but didn't (again, typical).
Then attempted to meet with other, new boss, and it took a while (busy guy), but he did what he said he would and generally had his shit together... (must be something to do with fact that he ISN'T a professor...). He wanted to talk over the phone first, which threw me as I'd much rather do it face to face. It pretty much went like this:
NB: Hello
MR: Hi there
NB: so let me get this right, you were the one that [insert brief position summary]
MR: yes, and I was approved to come back part time in May
NB: you were approved to come back part time? When was this?!
MR: (gulp) before I went on leave
NB: But doesn't your contract finish in May?
MR: (gulp again, and take a moment to back track and compose self) I was going to be on a 2 year contract then it got whittled back to 1 and in the end I had to apply for my job while on maternity leave, but I was hoping to come back to work in May and work no more than 3 days a week.
The rest of the conversation was discussing various things, including my willingness to be flexible and move sideways if that suits, but the main points my boss made were: He still needs to meet with my other department to discuss the position, and in general, he is trying to cull part time positions wherever he can due to limited desk space and difficulty in making meetings with clients if you aren't there all the time. I figured I just had to wait until the meeting was had, and he promised to ring and let me know the outcome.
Bummer!* Can I just reiterate that Casual and contract positions SUCK for women who are planning to have children and go part time - we basically have no way of making our employers take us back unless it's an industry that's seriously short of labour. And we have such a long way to go as a society to accepting that part time work is nowhere near as much of a hassle as people make it out to be. Seriously, I know sometimes deadlines emerge suddenly, but much of the time, panic in the work place is due to people being disorganised, not communicating, and procrastinating.
One of my friends was approved last Sept to come back to work part time in Feb, only to be called a week or two ago to say "Sorry, it's actually full time or nothing". Now she has 3 days childcare sorted out, doesn't want her son to be in child care full time, and is faced with either not working or looking for a part time position. Her partner is not really in a position to go part time. Nor is C-chan for a couple of years, as he starts a new job next month.
And have you looked at part time positions lately? Not only are they part time, but their salary rates are lower - positions like "Assistant" and "Administrative Assistant". Why do we scratch our heads and wonder why womens' salaries are lower than mens? Not only do we take a pay cut when we opt to go part time, but if we have to search for a part time job when we are told we can't come back part time, they are at significantly lower salary RATES on top of the fact they are part time.
I have since found out that my position will be cut/absorbed as part of other new more focussed positions. This in itself isn't a silly idea, as I was stretched way too far in my job - a jack of 50 trades and a master of none. But don't you think it is strange that my Employer invests in me by paying me super duper maternity leave pay then basically leaves it up to me to find a way to come back to work there? So my career goes bung. More on my strategies to bring in some required household income later - not all gloom and doom... I'm lucky that I have some things I can apply for.
*That would have been in capital letters at one time, but "career" is now further down the list of concerns after 1) child, marriage & family, 2) household security including finances and 3) making the world a better place for aforementioned child.
Well a lot has happened in this time, and my employer gave me my job even though I was to be on maternity leave for the duration of my contract, allowing me to receive the best maternity leave pay I am aware of in the country (ie 36/52 weeks paid for). My boss even approved me coming back 3 days a week without hesitation!
So with some financial security for the timebeing, and much more important things to thing about (ie the BABY), I promptly forgot about work for a bit. I didn't want to worry about it, and quite frankly, didn't care enough to. Every now and then, a little niggle at the back of my mind went "Meri Risa, you may not have a job to go back to! They may finally get around to restructuring your department, and your position may not fit in with how things are run under the New Order! What will you do if you can't get your old job back?!"
Then, late last year, child care and returning back to work became a more frequent discussion topic at my mum's group. Some mothers are having to return back to work about now, or are trying to secure child care places. It became time to act. I started to make meetings with my bosses, one of whom had started working AFTER I went on Mat leave and I had only met with once briefly. First boss met with me quickly, appeared to not have thought any of the practicalities through much (typical) and after a long, nice friendly chat about nothing much at all, said he'd get back to me shortly, but didn't (again, typical).
Then attempted to meet with other, new boss, and it took a while (busy guy), but he did what he said he would and generally had his shit together... (must be something to do with fact that he ISN'T a professor...). He wanted to talk over the phone first, which threw me as I'd much rather do it face to face. It pretty much went like this:
NB: Hello
MR: Hi there
NB: so let me get this right, you were the one that [insert brief position summary]
MR: yes, and I was approved to come back part time in May
NB: you were approved to come back part time? When was this?!
MR: (gulp) before I went on leave
NB: But doesn't your contract finish in May?
MR: (gulp again, and take a moment to back track and compose self) I was going to be on a 2 year contract then it got whittled back to 1 and in the end I had to apply for my job while on maternity leave, but I was hoping to come back to work in May and work no more than 3 days a week.
The rest of the conversation was discussing various things, including my willingness to be flexible and move sideways if that suits, but the main points my boss made were: He still needs to meet with my other department to discuss the position, and in general, he is trying to cull part time positions wherever he can due to limited desk space and difficulty in making meetings with clients if you aren't there all the time. I figured I just had to wait until the meeting was had, and he promised to ring and let me know the outcome.
Bummer!* Can I just reiterate that Casual and contract positions SUCK for women who are planning to have children and go part time - we basically have no way of making our employers take us back unless it's an industry that's seriously short of labour. And we have such a long way to go as a society to accepting that part time work is nowhere near as much of a hassle as people make it out to be. Seriously, I know sometimes deadlines emerge suddenly, but much of the time, panic in the work place is due to people being disorganised, not communicating, and procrastinating.
One of my friends was approved last Sept to come back to work part time in Feb, only to be called a week or two ago to say "Sorry, it's actually full time or nothing". Now she has 3 days childcare sorted out, doesn't want her son to be in child care full time, and is faced with either not working or looking for a part time position. Her partner is not really in a position to go part time. Nor is C-chan for a couple of years, as he starts a new job next month.
And have you looked at part time positions lately? Not only are they part time, but their salary rates are lower - positions like "Assistant" and "Administrative Assistant". Why do we scratch our heads and wonder why womens' salaries are lower than mens? Not only do we take a pay cut when we opt to go part time, but if we have to search for a part time job when we are told we can't come back part time, they are at significantly lower salary RATES on top of the fact they are part time.
I have since found out that my position will be cut/absorbed as part of other new more focussed positions. This in itself isn't a silly idea, as I was stretched way too far in my job - a jack of 50 trades and a master of none. But don't you think it is strange that my Employer invests in me by paying me super duper maternity leave pay then basically leaves it up to me to find a way to come back to work there? So my career goes bung. More on my strategies to bring in some required household income later - not all gloom and doom... I'm lucky that I have some things I can apply for.
*That would have been in capital letters at one time, but "career" is now further down the list of concerns after 1) child, marriage & family, 2) household security including finances and 3) making the world a better place for aforementioned child.
19 January 2007
Wild, wild life
Over many years, my parent's house has been visited by possums... they somehow get into the walls and ceiling, and set up residence, causing a lot of hassle. Possums, you see, travel long distances, and if you capture one and drive many km away to get it away from your house, you are a) removing a native animal from familiar surroundings, and b) wasting your time, as it will probably find it's way back to your house within a couple of nights. Once, a possum set up camp in the wall above the electricity meter box, and decided to scratch a hole in the wall so that it could hang its tail through and thermoregulate when things got a bit too warm! Imagine the suprise when my folks found a possum tail hanging through a hole in my old bedroom!
So over the years, my father has waged a war against the possums with chicken wire - his only defence for his house being to keep the darling things OUT! He thought he had every possible possum-sized hole covered, but recently, has heard the suspicious sounds of possums scratching and hissing somewhere under the house. This has my father just about pulling his hair out in frustration (he nearly does pull his hair out, so lucky he has a good head of hair still).
The other week, a swarm of bees decided to follow a rebel queen bee and set up hive in their light fitting, leading to a bee plague in their kitchen and up in the ceiling cavity. And just then, I got this email from my parents, and had to post an excerpt, as I could not help laughing:
"Our amazing run of annoyances continued when mum found a large blue tongue lizard on the step of the store room by the freezer yesterday morning. It ran into the wardrobe and crapped all over the place. Mum thinks it went outside when she left the door open, but I'm still wondering if it's in the wardrobe. How it got in is a mystery."
I think they should move before the house is taken over!
So over the years, my father has waged a war against the possums with chicken wire - his only defence for his house being to keep the darling things OUT! He thought he had every possible possum-sized hole covered, but recently, has heard the suspicious sounds of possums scratching and hissing somewhere under the house. This has my father just about pulling his hair out in frustration (he nearly does pull his hair out, so lucky he has a good head of hair still).
The other week, a swarm of bees decided to follow a rebel queen bee and set up hive in their light fitting, leading to a bee plague in their kitchen and up in the ceiling cavity. And just then, I got this email from my parents, and had to post an excerpt, as I could not help laughing:
"Our amazing run of annoyances continued when mum found a large blue tongue lizard on the step of the store room by the freezer yesterday morning. It ran into the wardrobe and crapped all over the place. Mum thinks it went outside when she left the door open, but I'm still wondering if it's in the wardrobe. How it got in is a mystery."
I think they should move before the house is taken over!
13 January 2007
Good alternatives to swear words to use in taxing moments...
On christmas day, an elderly family friend made me smile by uttering a rather quaint alternative to a common swear word. You know, when you start out swearing, but after the first couple of letters, change the word slightly so that you are no longer saying anything rude or, god forbid, blasphemous! Here are some examples:
bloomin' (bloody)
jeepers creepers (j*sus chri$t)
shiver-me-timbers (shit!)
far out! (f*ck)
fricken (f*cking)
Got any more?!
bloomin' (bloody)
jeepers creepers (j*sus chri$t)
shiver-me-timbers (shit!)
far out! (f*ck)
fricken (f*cking)
Got any more?!
12 January 2007
Oh my did I leave the house in that?
Last few days have been little low key, as we got E-chan back into the swing of life back at home. Poor little critter must have been confused as hell about the whole plane trip and 3 week holiday, but part of me wonders what of it he actually remembers. Anyhow, he is back to his normal temperament. I can crack a smile more often, anyway, and he's beginning to sleep better at night again back in his own bed, apart from these dreadfully stuffy nights we're having.
In an effort to keep him awake just a little longer this morning before his mid-morning nap, we went for a walk in the pram. We walked down a beautiful street with Moreton Bay Figs down the middle, and dive-bomber magpies. These magpies often attack C-chan on his way to the train station. One will distract you by sitting on the rear view mirror of a parked car and flap around a bit. Once your attention is clearly taken with it, another magpie swoops you from its perch up in a tree or on an overhead powerline. I walk down there with extreme caution, and when E-chan is in the baby carrier (ie strapped to my chest), I cover his head with my hands, look the birds in the eye, and tell them to "stay away from my baybee or else" (said with a classic Merryl Streep does Lindy Chamberlain twang, as in "a dingo stole my baybee").
Anyway, we were lucky this morning, as E-chan was safely stowed in his pram out of reach, and we strolled on through to the park when I remembered what I was wearing... It was my "I'll just throw this on for the morning so that I can put on something nicer when I go out this afternoon and not have slobber and vomit on it" top . Only, it's also my "I'll never leave the house in this" top, but I forgot, and left the house in it. Said top is a sleeveless t-shirt with a Union Jack across the entire front. We bought if from an op shop for C-chan when we were dressing up as punks (I was trying for a Cindi Lauper, but ended up looking more like Molly Ringwald... oh well). Union Jack is fine for dressing up as punk, being patriotic if you are Brittish, or if you are an Anglophile. I am not particularly any of these things.
While I usually don't get too hung up on how I look, especially to complete strangers, or to a friend you can joke about your t-shirt with, wearing a nation's flag is mildly embarrassing when you run into someone you vaguely know... someone you nod and say "good morning" to but don't know by name. Such as other mums you see in the park from time to time and with whom you have exchanged notes on feeding solids and settling. Which is the sort of person I then ran into upon realising I had a Union Jack t-shirt.
Oh well. Graver things have happened, such as 10 minutes later that very morning when I bought a take away coffee and proceeded to try to push the pram (one-handed) up the most bumpy, un-pram-ramped footpath, complete with a recycle bin obstacle course. I was losing too much coffee, and when I tried to avoid these challenges and head down a narrow, quiet ally, a car decided at that very moment to turn into the ally and follow us at walking pace for what seemed like an eternity but must only have been 30 metres.
I'll take another route next time, or at least avoid it on rubbish day and drink my coffee at the cafe...
In an effort to keep him awake just a little longer this morning before his mid-morning nap, we went for a walk in the pram. We walked down a beautiful street with Moreton Bay Figs down the middle, and dive-bomber magpies. These magpies often attack C-chan on his way to the train station. One will distract you by sitting on the rear view mirror of a parked car and flap around a bit. Once your attention is clearly taken with it, another magpie swoops you from its perch up in a tree or on an overhead powerline. I walk down there with extreme caution, and when E-chan is in the baby carrier (ie strapped to my chest), I cover his head with my hands, look the birds in the eye, and tell them to "stay away from my baybee or else" (said with a classic Merryl Streep does Lindy Chamberlain twang, as in "a dingo stole my baybee").
Anyway, we were lucky this morning, as E-chan was safely stowed in his pram out of reach, and we strolled on through to the park when I remembered what I was wearing... It was my "I'll just throw this on for the morning so that I can put on something nicer when I go out this afternoon and not have slobber and vomit on it" top . Only, it's also my "I'll never leave the house in this" top, but I forgot, and left the house in it. Said top is a sleeveless t-shirt with a Union Jack across the entire front. We bought if from an op shop for C-chan when we were dressing up as punks (I was trying for a Cindi Lauper, but ended up looking more like Molly Ringwald... oh well). Union Jack is fine for dressing up as punk, being patriotic if you are Brittish, or if you are an Anglophile. I am not particularly any of these things.
While I usually don't get too hung up on how I look, especially to complete strangers, or to a friend you can joke about your t-shirt with, wearing a nation's flag is mildly embarrassing when you run into someone you vaguely know... someone you nod and say "good morning" to but don't know by name. Such as other mums you see in the park from time to time and with whom you have exchanged notes on feeding solids and settling. Which is the sort of person I then ran into upon realising I had a Union Jack t-shirt.
Oh well. Graver things have happened, such as 10 minutes later that very morning when I bought a take away coffee and proceeded to try to push the pram (one-handed) up the most bumpy, un-pram-ramped footpath, complete with a recycle bin obstacle course. I was losing too much coffee, and when I tried to avoid these challenges and head down a narrow, quiet ally, a car decided at that very moment to turn into the ally and follow us at walking pace for what seemed like an eternity but must only have been 30 metres.
I'll take another route next time, or at least avoid it on rubbish day and drink my coffee at the cafe...
09 January 2007
home again home again kerthump!
Hello all, am back in front of my own keyboard and screen (you have no idea how hard it is to type on those ergonomic keyboards that my parents have...). Just sat down to blog, but realised my tshirt smelt like vomit (but could not locate source), and hand smelt a bit like e-chan's last nappy change, so went for a quick handwash and change of top and all is relatively right again!
Well, yesterday was another day we'll classify as "all a bit too much" for E-chan, along with the journey to Adelaide, and Christmas Day. Yesterday started with E-chan not sleeping long in his morning nap (must have sensed something was up, with mum and dad busy packing nearby), packing our things in the car, heading off to the airport, going through security, seeing Nanna, Grandma and Grandad wave goodbye as we walked down this tunnel into a long tube with lots of seats and windows, being cramped in a small space, having a toddler behind us yell over the top of his seat, having his ears go funny, getting off the funny tube thing with seats and windows, hopping in a taxi with a funny car seat and arriving finally at a place that seemed strangely familiar, but we suspect that after 3 weeks away, he couldn't quite put it all in context. So much for the joys of returning home!
Yesterday afternoon, E-chan was very out of sorts - he was crying quite a lot, and seemed to be frequently looking around to see where everyone else had gotten to (sorry, it's just you and me now, kiddo). Must be hard for him to firstly to not have hordes of adoring grandparents lining up for cuddles, but to have only me around, as C-chan is off to work this week for the final time before going on holidays (woo hoo!) and starting a new job in late February.
But for now, touch wood, he is sleeping in his cot, after a wakeful night... I'm hoping he'll be his happy self again soon, and that he'll enjoy seeing all the other Mums and babies at Mother's group today. He has changed so much in the past few weeks - new skills, new noises, new teeth...
But I must go cook and puree those beans and carrots for his lunch!
Well, yesterday was another day we'll classify as "all a bit too much" for E-chan, along with the journey to Adelaide, and Christmas Day. Yesterday started with E-chan not sleeping long in his morning nap (must have sensed something was up, with mum and dad busy packing nearby), packing our things in the car, heading off to the airport, going through security, seeing Nanna, Grandma and Grandad wave goodbye as we walked down this tunnel into a long tube with lots of seats and windows, being cramped in a small space, having a toddler behind us yell over the top of his seat, having his ears go funny, getting off the funny tube thing with seats and windows, hopping in a taxi with a funny car seat and arriving finally at a place that seemed strangely familiar, but we suspect that after 3 weeks away, he couldn't quite put it all in context. So much for the joys of returning home!
Yesterday afternoon, E-chan was very out of sorts - he was crying quite a lot, and seemed to be frequently looking around to see where everyone else had gotten to (sorry, it's just you and me now, kiddo). Must be hard for him to firstly to not have hordes of adoring grandparents lining up for cuddles, but to have only me around, as C-chan is off to work this week for the final time before going on holidays (woo hoo!) and starting a new job in late February.
But for now, touch wood, he is sleeping in his cot, after a wakeful night... I'm hoping he'll be his happy self again soon, and that he'll enjoy seeing all the other Mums and babies at Mother's group today. He has changed so much in the past few weeks - new skills, new noises, new teeth...
But I must go cook and puree those beans and carrots for his lunch!
05 January 2007
Postcard from Adelaide!!
Hello! Happy new year and meri christmas and all that!
We've been here in Adelaide since 16th Dec and get back next Monday. It's been a whirlwind of experiences... Especially for E-chan. Thanks to a lovely statistitian friend (and recent mother second time around) lending us her travel cot, he's had the same bed while he's been here, but has had to cope with different rooms and some disgustingly hot nights. He's been baby sat by grandparents (a labour of love for them, and getting a bit easier for us), cuddled lots, driven around, had his first swim in a pool, and....
POPPED HIS FIRST 2 TEETH!!!
EEEEEEEK! We had mixed feelings about that development... I suppose this is just the start of many developmental milestones that we will have to just deal with, no matter how much he feels like our little baby boy!
Peter Pan
We realised something about parenthood when his first tooth sprung forth: it's a mixture of looking forward all the time for the next thing (stage, skill, word), looking back with nostalgia for how he used to be, and at the same time, wanting him to stay the same forever. All 3 tenses co-exist. I totally get where the idea for Peter Pan (the boy who never grew up) came from.
We've been here in Adelaide since 16th Dec and get back next Monday. It's been a whirlwind of experiences... Especially for E-chan. Thanks to a lovely statistitian friend (and recent mother second time around) lending us her travel cot, he's had the same bed while he's been here, but has had to cope with different rooms and some disgustingly hot nights. He's been baby sat by grandparents (a labour of love for them, and getting a bit easier for us), cuddled lots, driven around, had his first swim in a pool, and....
POPPED HIS FIRST 2 TEETH!!!
EEEEEEEK! We had mixed feelings about that development... I suppose this is just the start of many developmental milestones that we will have to just deal with, no matter how much he feels like our little baby boy!
Peter Pan
We realised something about parenthood when his first tooth sprung forth: it's a mixture of looking forward all the time for the next thing (stage, skill, word), looking back with nostalgia for how he used to be, and at the same time, wanting him to stay the same forever. All 3 tenses co-exist. I totally get where the idea for Peter Pan (the boy who never grew up) came from.
11 December 2006
Hi my name is Hugh Jass
So here I am 6 months post-birth and I figured I have the right to one big whinge about my body. Actually, in the big scheme of things, I have little to complain about, as you wouldn't necessarily know I'd had a baby recently... I think swimming must tone those stomach muscles back into shape. So this is more of a general whinge....
...Sprurred by an attempt to buy some new pants. I always find this traumatic. My body has a narrowish waist, "good thighs and calves" (ie muscly yet with a good softening layer of fat), short legs and round hips. Call me a muscly pear. Jeans are designed for people with narrower legs and hips, and longer legs. Therefore at best I'll find jeans that fit perfectly but need to be taken up.
I don't have a pot belly, therefore side-on, I'll look in the mirror and think to myself "yeah, you're kinda in shape, go you!". Today I tried on some jeans at shop where usually I find exactly the right size and fit (bar length) and found not only had I gone up a size, but MY ARSE LOOKED HUGE! Arrrrgh!
Then there's my arms. They are getting quite muscly also from lifting and carrying an 8kg child around quite a lot. Arms also have soft protective fatty layer on top of muscle therefore appear quite large. The other day I saw a photo taken of me where I swear my arms looked so big I looked like a transvestite - a man dressed up as a woman, except of course I am a woman and would rather look like one (no offence to anyone who wouldn't rather). Worse still, this picture of me is floating around on the net somewhere on someone else's site. Would love to ask them to pull said photo, but it's the only one of me taken at a social occasion, and I'd feel very superficial asking them to do so.
Not suprising really. I have kind of eased off on the pavement pounding lately, and probably overindulging a touch with the food. So short of C-chan's most helpful suggestion that if it bothers me so much why don't I walk around sideways all the time so people can see my "good sides"*, I'm going to make sure I walk a bit more every day (properly, not side on), swim twice a week, and cut down on some foody overindulgences... Nice, sensible, gradual, nothing too drastic. Well let's see.
*he of course is humouring me and doesn't see what all the fuss is about...
...Sprurred by an attempt to buy some new pants. I always find this traumatic. My body has a narrowish waist, "good thighs and calves" (ie muscly yet with a good softening layer of fat), short legs and round hips. Call me a muscly pear. Jeans are designed for people with narrower legs and hips, and longer legs. Therefore at best I'll find jeans that fit perfectly but need to be taken up.
I don't have a pot belly, therefore side-on, I'll look in the mirror and think to myself "yeah, you're kinda in shape, go you!". Today I tried on some jeans at shop where usually I find exactly the right size and fit (bar length) and found not only had I gone up a size, but MY ARSE LOOKED HUGE! Arrrrgh!
Then there's my arms. They are getting quite muscly also from lifting and carrying an 8kg child around quite a lot. Arms also have soft protective fatty layer on top of muscle therefore appear quite large. The other day I saw a photo taken of me where I swear my arms looked so big I looked like a transvestite - a man dressed up as a woman, except of course I am a woman and would rather look like one (no offence to anyone who wouldn't rather). Worse still, this picture of me is floating around on the net somewhere on someone else's site. Would love to ask them to pull said photo, but it's the only one of me taken at a social occasion, and I'd feel very superficial asking them to do so.
Not suprising really. I have kind of eased off on the pavement pounding lately, and probably overindulging a touch with the food. So short of C-chan's most helpful suggestion that if it bothers me so much why don't I walk around sideways all the time so people can see my "good sides"*, I'm going to make sure I walk a bit more every day (properly, not side on), swim twice a week, and cut down on some foody overindulgences... Nice, sensible, gradual, nothing too drastic. Well let's see.
*he of course is humouring me and doesn't see what all the fuss is about...
10 December 2006
Puree and Simple
Happy half birthday to E-chan, who was born exactly 6 months ago. Doesn't time fly?
With this age comes starting solid foods. Interesting process, I'm finding. After a month or two of having E-chan watch us LIKE A HAWK every time we ate or drank, we started with the classic allergy safe first food, rice cereal. Then every 3-4 days, we introduce a new food (to make sure there is no adverse reaction). If he doesn't like something or finds the texture strange, he does the funniest little grimace, which I wish I could capture on camera for you all to see, but I'm usually to busy stiffling my laugh. If he LOVES something, he is generally trying to lean forward towards the spoon or even lick his bib!
Most things are really easy to prepare - wash, peel, steam, then blend or mash. Zucchini was a bit tricky - followed a recommendation to "press through a sieve" (but book must have been having a laugh, as zucchini will not press through even a course sieve) then tried to blend, but didn't have enough volume, so had to steam some more and then blend (really hoping at this stage that E-chan would like it).
It took him about 2 weeks to get the hang of chewing and swallowing food. We give him the spoon with a bit of food in it to play with at the end - and food gets smeared and flung everywhere! Gradually, we'll make the texture lumpier, and once he has some toothy-pegs, we'll give him finger food to feed himself.
Tools of the trade: plastic spoons, little containers and bowls to heat up small portions of foods up in, ice cube trays to freeze small portions, old plastic tablecloth to use as drop sheet over carpet, highchair, wipable bibs. So here's E-chan's rating of foods so far, in order of introduction...
Rice cereal: ho hum.... (OK with a twist of banana)
Pear: ummm? (possibly a bit gritty, but liking it better now)
Sweet potato: yum!
Banana: YUUUUUUUUUUUM! What is this stuff and where can I get more!!
Zucchini: Yum!
Pumpkin: Yum!
Contenders for next foods will probably be broccoli, carrot, green beans, apple and apricot, and some other cereals...oats or possibly wheat. Soon hopefully he will take some lentils and then maybe even some minced or shredded meat. I can't wait until I can cook kid-friendly food that all 3 of us can eat! - but that is about 6-12 months off. In the meantime, it's purees and mashes, and a little bit goes a long way, given his average non-milk meal size is about a tablespoon.
What FUN!
30 November 2006
Hangin' with da Mums
I like my Mother's Group - we're a nice mix of quiet and polite vs loud and a little naughty, technical and "wouldn't have a clue how to change a light globe or send email" types. We come from all sorts of backgrounds, and we're not all heterosexual either. Professions vary - lawyer, marketing manager, dietitian, long-haul flight attendant, banker, telco investment manager, civil servant, cafe manager, conference organiser... one mum works at a museum, another at NIDA. This is nice, as I usually seem to meet people in similar lines of work to me or C-chan. And no horrible cliquey-ness. Ok, so there are 2 mums who sometimes have annoyingly exclusive conversations in a group setting, but usually there are too many of us for that to matter.
And the babies - at first I didn't find them all cute, but now I'm sure they all are! Either they're hitting that cute 6-month-old age, or a secondary "my child is the cutest" mindset kicks in and with time you start to find your friends babies cuter than your average person would think.
We meet in a park most Tuesdays, but need to find an indoor venue on rainy or ridiculously hot days. This is hard - there are not many sheltered places around. Our best options are places where you have to buy stuff (lunch, or a coffee at least). Most of us don't have big enough lounge rooms or yards (if any). There are only a couple of cafes that can handle our 10 or so prams all in one go, but there are a few pubs around with either big rooms that are largely empty during the day, or a beer garden. That's right, mums'n'bubs in pubs! Some don't allow children in, but other Pubs don't seem to mind us coming. We are often buying stuff, and come during off peak hours.
On Tuesday, we tried out a pub in our area that has been closed for renovations for a good year or so (hint: it had a Thai Restaurant downstairs - and it will again, but that bit is still being finished off). We had a nice time in air conditioned comfort. Then one man walk past and say "You mothers ought to be ashamed of yourselves!!". For what?! we wondered? Taking our babies into non-smoking areas of a pub while we eat and drink softies!? Then someone made a point of being blocked by our prams (when she could have walked around another way - you know how sometimes you get the feeling that people are saying things to make a point rather than because of need?
The actual Publican seemed to like us being there and actually came up and asked if we were OK. Some people just aren't comfortable with babies around, nor can they fathom people being in a pub to do things other than getting plastered. Others just stare as if it's the most unusual think they ever saw!
Now that our babies are getting more active (one little boy will be crawling any day now), they get restless in their prams, so cafes and pubs won't really be appropriate soon. Will have to check out a couple of playgroups around in our area... Never really fathomed the value of community centres and playgroups before having E-chan. But you have to get out, meet other parents, or you'd get serious cabin fever and have a seriously bored child on your hands.
In Japan (Tokyo/Yokohama more specifically), they have these fantastic and massive indoor playgyms - things to climb, build, hide under. I suppose they have to have places kids can play when it's freezing or monsoonal outside. I wish councils could build some here, especially in denser inner-city areas where roads are busy, and yards are small or non-existant. Maybe I'll get some pictures from My Brother the Expat and send them to my council as an idea?
And the babies - at first I didn't find them all cute, but now I'm sure they all are! Either they're hitting that cute 6-month-old age, or a secondary "my child is the cutest" mindset kicks in and with time you start to find your friends babies cuter than your average person would think.
We meet in a park most Tuesdays, but need to find an indoor venue on rainy or ridiculously hot days. This is hard - there are not many sheltered places around. Our best options are places where you have to buy stuff (lunch, or a coffee at least). Most of us don't have big enough lounge rooms or yards (if any). There are only a couple of cafes that can handle our 10 or so prams all in one go, but there are a few pubs around with either big rooms that are largely empty during the day, or a beer garden. That's right, mums'n'bubs in pubs! Some don't allow children in, but other Pubs don't seem to mind us coming. We are often buying stuff, and come during off peak hours.
On Tuesday, we tried out a pub in our area that has been closed for renovations for a good year or so (hint: it had a Thai Restaurant downstairs - and it will again, but that bit is still being finished off). We had a nice time in air conditioned comfort. Then one man walk past and say "You mothers ought to be ashamed of yourselves!!". For what?! we wondered? Taking our babies into non-smoking areas of a pub while we eat and drink softies!? Then someone made a point of being blocked by our prams (when she could have walked around another way - you know how sometimes you get the feeling that people are saying things to make a point rather than because of need?
The actual Publican seemed to like us being there and actually came up and asked if we were OK. Some people just aren't comfortable with babies around, nor can they fathom people being in a pub to do things other than getting plastered. Others just stare as if it's the most unusual think they ever saw!
Now that our babies are getting more active (one little boy will be crawling any day now), they get restless in their prams, so cafes and pubs won't really be appropriate soon. Will have to check out a couple of playgroups around in our area... Never really fathomed the value of community centres and playgroups before having E-chan. But you have to get out, meet other parents, or you'd get serious cabin fever and have a seriously bored child on your hands.
In Japan (Tokyo/Yokohama more specifically), they have these fantastic and massive indoor playgyms - things to climb, build, hide under. I suppose they have to have places kids can play when it's freezing or monsoonal outside. I wish councils could build some here, especially in denser inner-city areas where roads are busy, and yards are small or non-existant. Maybe I'll get some pictures from My Brother the Expat and send them to my council as an idea?
29 November 2006
That's it! Books aside for occasional reference only!
I have decided to shelve parenting books for a while. Sure, they have their place... especially at first when everything is new and wierd, when trying to get an idea of where your baby fits in the spectrum of things. Also when you are reaching a new developmental phase - such as introducing solid foods. But not to be consulted for every fricken little change to tell you whether it should be happening or not, or to tell you what your baby should be doing at each minute of the day!! I see this happening around me - parents have one or two nights where bub is waking up more frequently than "normal", and they're on the phone to the Tresilian helpline, asking advice.
Not suprisingly, I was reading something the other day which commented on how the rise in the number of self professed "parenting experts" is disempowering for parents, as it makes them feel inadequate. Also, it takes advantage of the fact that traditional parent support (granny, aunts and uncles or even the old lady up the road) are no longer available to help parents raise kids. This resonated strongly with me.
Not suprisingly, I was reading something the other day which commented on how the rise in the number of self professed "parenting experts" is disempowering for parents, as it makes them feel inadequate. Also, it takes advantage of the fact that traditional parent support (granny, aunts and uncles or even the old lady up the road) are no longer available to help parents raise kids. This resonated strongly with me.
Instead of wondering if I should read a different parenting book to get answers, I think I should trust my instincts and ability to think laterally with E-chan. I was fortunate enough to have very loving, sensible parents, and should trust that I can take a lot from how they raised me when he is a bit older. Also, I think rather than accept solitude and books as my only option with all my family interstate or overseas, I'm better off building support networks within my mother's group. After all, mothers learn best from talking and sharing experiences.
That means tolerating differences in opinion and approach, and getting other mums to tolerate my opinions and approach - our options for sharing the care of E-chan are paid care, people I met less than 6 months ago (and whom C-chan has barely gotten to know) at mother's group, plus a few close and trusted friends. Frightening, really, the rate at which we need to build trusting relationships, but sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. Although both C-chan and I came from a loving and sensible families, they were also quite sheltered, which can cause us to look inwards and towards like-minded people rather than outwards when in times of need. But we both want E-chan to experience people with a wide range of philosophies, approaches, interests etc in his life, and we simply cannot provide him with all of that ourselves. Our immediate family couldn't provide that even if they were in the same city...
28 November 2006
From the mouth of babes
Somewhere amongst the baby babbles and goo's in the past few weeks, we think E-chan may have uttered his first word... there has been a lot of "da da da dad da da da"ing in the past week or so, and the other night after I'd changed E-chan and took him out to say good night, he looked straight at his dad and said "da da!". That was the first time we noticed the use of this monosyllabic word in context! There haven't been many repeat performances of "da da" being used to call for his dad, unfortunately, which either means a) he's calling out for his dad all the time and finds me boring, or b) it really just was a coincidence.
It seems common that baby's first word in many languages is often Dada - probably because of the ease with which the consonent "D" is uttered. But this also means that somewhere along the line, when the Indo European language was forming, some people decided that the first word babies utter should mean "father". At a BBQ the other day, a number of Mums were grumbling about how typical this was, and how it must have been men that instigated this word's meaning. However, I'm thinking it's possible that back then, in the days when godesses of fertility were worshipped, women probably had a lot of sexual power - only they knew who they had lain with and could say for sure who the father was. Therefore if a man was a decent type they wanted to stick around and help raise kiddy, they probably were flattering the man into thinking the baby's first word was referring to them. Which would have been quite smart, when you think about it. Just a postulation - no way of knowing for sure.
It seems that the next word is likely to be "mama maam ma" when E-chan is veryupset - yet to see that one though. Other possible words coming from E-chan's mouth include "Al Gore" this morning and "truffle" the other day, which I like to think indicate heightened environmental awareness (I did take him to see "An Inconvenient Truth" a few months back after all...), and a highly discerning palate (oh crap!) respectively.
It seems common that baby's first word in many languages is often Dada - probably because of the ease with which the consonent "D" is uttered. But this also means that somewhere along the line, when the Indo European language was forming, some people decided that the first word babies utter should mean "father". At a BBQ the other day, a number of Mums were grumbling about how typical this was, and how it must have been men that instigated this word's meaning. However, I'm thinking it's possible that back then, in the days when godesses of fertility were worshipped, women probably had a lot of sexual power - only they knew who they had lain with and could say for sure who the father was. Therefore if a man was a decent type they wanted to stick around and help raise kiddy, they probably were flattering the man into thinking the baby's first word was referring to them. Which would have been quite smart, when you think about it. Just a postulation - no way of knowing for sure.
It seems that the next word is likely to be "mama maam ma" when E-chan is veryupset - yet to see that one though. Other possible words coming from E-chan's mouth include "Al Gore" this morning and "truffle" the other day, which I like to think indicate heightened environmental awareness (I did take him to see "An Inconvenient Truth" a few months back after all...), and a highly discerning palate (oh crap!) respectively.
23 November 2006
Gratuitous baby shot...
Here's one of my favourite recent photos of E-chan and me. He's a whopping 8.1kg (or was last week), which is bigger than the average 5 month old. In the photo we were visiting a friend who had a 3 week old at the time! So tiny in comparison! I had forgotten how weak and delicate newborns are. They squeak rather than cry! And they are so easy to lift, which is good from my friend, who had to have a caesarian and therefore has very weak stomach muscles.
And another one... sorry can't help myself. One of the first smiles we have captured on camera!
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