I like my Mother's Group - we're a nice mix of quiet and polite vs loud and a little naughty, technical and "wouldn't have a clue how to change a light globe or send email" types. We come from all sorts of backgrounds, and we're not all heterosexual either. Professions vary - lawyer, marketing manager, dietitian, long-haul flight attendant, banker, telco investment manager, civil servant, cafe manager, conference organiser... one mum works at a museum, another at NIDA. This is nice, as I usually seem to meet people in similar lines of work to me or C-chan. And no horrible cliquey-ness. Ok, so there are 2 mums who sometimes have annoyingly exclusive conversations in a group setting, but usually there are too many of us for that to matter.
And the babies - at first I didn't find them all cute, but now I'm sure they all are! Either they're hitting that cute 6-month-old age, or a secondary "my child is the cutest" mindset kicks in and with time you start to find your friends babies cuter than your average person would think.
We meet in a park most Tuesdays, but need to find an indoor venue on rainy or ridiculously hot days. This is hard - there are not many sheltered places around. Our best options are places where you have to buy stuff (lunch, or a coffee at least). Most of us don't have big enough lounge rooms or yards (if any). There are only a couple of cafes that can handle our 10 or so prams all in one go, but there are a few pubs around with either big rooms that are largely empty during the day, or a beer garden. That's right, mums'n'bubs in pubs! Some don't allow children in, but other Pubs don't seem to mind us coming. We are often buying stuff, and come during off peak hours.
On Tuesday, we tried out a pub in our area that has been closed for renovations for a good year or so (hint: it had a Thai Restaurant downstairs - and it will again, but that bit is still being finished off). We had a nice time in air conditioned comfort. Then one man walk past and say "You mothers ought to be ashamed of yourselves!!". For what?! we wondered? Taking our babies into non-smoking areas of a pub while we eat and drink softies!? Then someone made a point of being blocked by our prams (when she could have walked around another way - you know how sometimes you get the feeling that people are saying things to make a point rather than because of need?
The actual Publican seemed to like us being there and actually came up and asked if we were OK. Some people just aren't comfortable with babies around, nor can they fathom people being in a pub to do things other than getting plastered. Others just stare as if it's the most unusual think they ever saw!
Now that our babies are getting more active (one little boy will be crawling any day now), they get restless in their prams, so cafes and pubs won't really be appropriate soon. Will have to check out a couple of playgroups around in our area... Never really fathomed the value of community centres and playgroups before having E-chan. But you have to get out, meet other parents, or you'd get serious cabin fever and have a seriously bored child on your hands.
In Japan (Tokyo/Yokohama more specifically), they have these fantastic and massive indoor playgyms - things to climb, build, hide under. I suppose they have to have places kids can play when it's freezing or monsoonal outside. I wish councils could build some here, especially in denser inner-city areas where roads are busy, and yards are small or non-existant. Maybe I'll get some pictures from My Brother the Expat and send them to my council as an idea?
2 comments:
They have indoor playground things here too, but you have to pay for entry I think. But they also have cafes in them which takes care of the mums so maybe it's worth it. God that guy in the pub needs a bullet doesn't he? As if you were all sitting around sharing crack pipes or something!
Yes - I think I'm learning to shove these kind of comments into the "it says more about you than me" box. Obviously guy had little knowledge of breastfeeding or bottlefeeding, doesn't realise the value of pubs/bars as places to meet and not necessarily get drunk, and possibly has had a drunk parent/close relative in his life.
Actually - there are those indoor playground/cafe places here too, but I always thought of them as places for kid's parties. Don't think there's one near us though.
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