Nipple cripple & expressing yourself

Within 2 days of giving birth, I had serious nipple cripple* in left breast. Turns out there are several crucial thing about breastfeeding that caused this:

- baby over a week overdue... tend to be bigger, suck hard, and are extremely hungry.
- fair anglo saxon skin, and sensitive nipples. Wish I'd spent more time topless at the beach**, toughening up the nipples . Some harsh handling would probably also have prepared me for the pain. Should have perhaps considered some S&M during some more experimental phases in my life.
- baby not latching on with correct technique. This is hard for both mother and baby to master, especially when there is no expert watching on assisting***. In fact, I wonder how the hell anyone used to manage out in the wild when we were hunter gatherers.

Then there is my breast shape. One of my adolescent insecurities was my breast size and shape. Never saw anyone with a simlar shape... I won't descibe them too much because you never know who's lurking in cyber-land. But it seems my breast shape has been noticed in lactation midwife circles to be a type that is sometimes (but not always) not able to establish breastfeeding fully due to supply issues. (Next time I see you all, I bet I catch you gawking at my chest - I don't care by now, as it seems everyone under the sun including brother in law has seen my top half naked, and half of those have inspected my undercarriage as well to see how the stiches are coming along...).

The midwives broke this news to me gently, but for a week or so, it was my worst nightmare of suspected inadequacies being realised. Meanwhile, the other breast was succumbing to and equally bad case of nipple cripple. I had to take baby off the breast entirely and feed it formula or starve it. Hard when you want to breastfeed, but no alternative. Breastmilk is produced on a supply-demand basis, so we had to do things to keep the supply going in the meantime. I was totally amazed at the range of techniques and products available to "express" milk with. Had to do it by hand as pumps were too harsh at first (yes they have motorised pumps for this kind of thing).

I kept thinking of that scene in "Meet the Parents" where Ben Stiller's character describes milking a cat's nipples. Step back a few metres from my life and it all seems surreal. For a while in hospital it was too painful to do myself (kind of like having to rip a band aid off a hairy leg), so midwives would help me, kind of like milk maids. Surreal. Luckily, all was starting to heal by the time I left hospital, and was able to do it myself, and later was able to use a pump, which is nowhere near as labour intensive.

So how has breastfeeding gone post-hospital? I have been getting advice from 3 midwives (2 public, one privately engaged), and we have had to be taught how to do it again almost from scratch. All the while things have been hectic, as we have been trying to boost my supply, and we have a crazy production line of me feeding as much as I can, then handing him over to someone else to top-up bottle feed, while going off to express. This all takes up quite a lot of time, when you include washing and cleaning bottles, and we need a 3rd person around to help when C-chan is at work (he had to work last week and this week, but can take some time off after the new fin-year starts).

Monday I fed E-chan on the breast 3 times, with almost no pain at all on the right hand side. Managed it 4x yesterday, and hope to again today. Saw a midwife at the hospital clinic this arvo, and she was amazed at our progress given how things were when I left hospital. Feel more upbeat after this than I have in ages.... Might be able to breastfeed afterall, to some extent or even fully. Just need to build my supply. Fingers crossed...


* Pretty bad even by the lactation midwife's experience. Not a pretty site. Scabs included. Ugh.
** Have not spent time topless at beach since pre-pubescent...
*** All I can say is thank god I was in this well resourced public hospital, with 1 lactation specialist on duty each day plus 5-6 midwifes on a ward of 56 or so patients. I hear some other public hospitals have 40 beds and a grand total of one regular midwife on duty. No wonder so many women give up breastfeeding so early on.