lesson in good grace and patience....

"Oh! When are you due?"
"How far along are you?"
"Do you know if you're having a boy or girl yet?"
"When do you finish work?"
"Is it your first?"
"Have you had any cravings?"
"Is it the first grandchild in your family?"
"My wife/sister/niece/daughter/good friend is expecting in a few months!"
"Are you moving house or buying a new car? That's usually a sign that someone's expecting" (nodding knowingly)
"You must be decking your house out with baby stuff then?"
"One thing I can advise you is to not buy ____ (inevitably something you already have), because we had one and only used it once"
"You'll wish you never had them in a few month's time!!"
"Oh, you're big/small/popping out, aren't you?"
"How long are you taking off work?"
"How ARE you?" "fine" "no, I mean with your condition?" "still fine"

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Once it is out there that you are pregnant, you get questions from EVERYONE, including people I usually only have a professional relationship with. Obviously my willingless to discuss these things with people depends on my relationship with them and whether or not they ask one of the few questions I am a bit sensitive about. Purely social friends there isn't really an issue discussing these things. This is getting to be a lesson in tolerance for me - I hope I am beginning to score well in smiling graciously, giving answers as appropriate to my relationship without rippling the waters, and politely telling people when I'm not prepared to answer what they've asked for whatever reason. And sussing out when some people are really just wanting to learn what it's all like (e.g. younger females/other couples considering conceiving), rather than being nosey parkers (the office gossip).

The lovely thing about this is how it binds you to women everywhere who have had babies. Mother, Mother-in-law, grandmother, sister-in-law, friends, loose acquaintances, collegues... random women in the street looking at your belly and smiling. You get to hear their accounts of motherhood. Sometimes you hear a bit too much information (e.g. flesh tearing during childbirth... ugh! I know it happens but still have trouble taking that in). You get to hear about the whole spectrum of experiences, the things that go wrong or go better than expected. Bring it on!!

Men are a different, and vary in their sensitivity to and involvement with the whole issue of parenthood and how a pregnant woman may be feeling. I inwardly laugh at the young men at the gym who look a bit... not horrified... but kind of dumbfounded when I walk past them, like they just don't know what to think. Outside your immediate friends and relatives, it kind of depends how much babies have featured in their lives recently. Fatherly or Grandfatherly-minded men are generally very excited for you!

The nice thing is how many well-wishings you get from everyone. And the help you get with carrying, lifting, opening doors etc. Ever the independent chick, I'm suprised to find I do appreciate this assistance, as I'm not as strong/fit/streamlined/energetic as I used to be! (In fact, that is probably how what we consider old-fashioned behaviour evolved in society).