20 February 2007

Shock revelation: social life continues after children

Recently had a night out with girlfriends J and Angel. A very fun night and a few revelations:
- am a daddy's girl as J put it. Once I pushed aside images of Varuca Salt screaming "Daddy, I want one of those golden eggs NOW!", I realised this simply means I have more in common with my Dad than my Mum. True. Well then I am a Daddy's girl.
- I can no longer hold my drink (but that just makes nights out cheaper!!)
- High heels - despite not having worn them for over a year - are easy to walk in when you are acccustomed to carrying 10kg extra around.

The next night I went out for dinner with just C-chan while his visiting Nanna baby sat! How lovely to get out and just talk about things we wanted to without worrying about E-chan waking in the next room. Well, we worried a little bit, but there was nothing we could do. And everything was fine when we got back. Nice time just to focus on us two, which is quite rare these days. Then the next day C-chan had his few hours out alone (ie sans me and E-chan) to see the Soccer. That night, E-chan fell asleep in record time with minimum fuss (around 7 minutes).

That mixed with visiting old friends on the weekend and new Mum friends during the week either at the park, pool or their homes, with E-chan in tow, means I'm getting my fix of other people's lives and matters that is so important for feeling connected with other people. OK, so maybe where we go and how long we stay is somewhat dependent on E-chan, but we still get out a fair bit. I'd got the impression from my own mother that becoming a mum can be isolating but I'm not finding this to be the case. Perhaps it is fortunate that my child is rather sociable, is interested in new places and people - not everyone is so lucky in this way? And having enough sleep makes a huge difference.

Those weeks back in early January where we were having frequent night wakings, followed by the whole screaming-to-sleep torture, E-chan miserable with a sore throat, then difficulty getting him to sleep during the daytimes... those have all passed. It really does seem that E-chan has learned to get himself to sleep, and we have learned how to get him to sleep again. It is so heartening to find that babies habits and behaviour can change. E.g. until last week E-chan was screaming each time we put him down in his cot. We think it was a bit of separation anxiety - he associated being put there with being alone, and cried. This, we thought, was not a good way to start the settling process! C-chan had a brain wave and thought up a fun way to distract E-chan the minute he was put in his cot. This now forms part of his new going to bed ritual (along with cuddles and saying goodnight to teddies, and reading etc), and has him giggling instead of crying. He now doesn't seem to mind being put in his bed.

1 comment:

J said...

Golly girl, you're out more than me!! Sounds like you guys are getting the best of both worlds(and no offense re the daddy's girl thing, I just meant you identify with him and share the same approach etc...)

Good luck to C-chan for his first week at work.