16 January 2008

Karma?

Some days are just shitty I think because the universe, after a bit of gentle nudging that you have ignored, decides it’s high time that you are propelled in a new direction. Lots of minor things happen, until finally the last straw shocks you into action kind of like one of those heart starty (defribulation sp?) machines.

Last week I had:
- Boss leaving someone else’s resume for a position startlingly similar to mine on her desk right next to where she knew I would deposit her mail (turns out she is looking for someone to job share with me, but she never told me about that, so I assumed the worst).
- shitty boss emails that made me feel an inch high, making me rather unprofessionally burst into tears in front of the only other person cohabiting my office that day, (who happens to be a retired septuagenarian)
- locked toilet cubicle doors that have opened themselves on me mid-stream!!!
- my premenstrual-ness abruptly conclude with menstrual-ness which I was only partially prepared for due to shorter than usual cycles and recently bad documentation of when it should be due (but really - I should be better at this by now!!)
- Son almost ignoring me in favour of visiting doting grandparents!!
- Son potentially developing yet another allergy if his development of a rash after eating fish is anything to go by (damn!).
- Stinky hot humid nights

What’s been brought into sharp focus is fact that I don’t love my job nor the topic of research that is going on around me. Boss is picky about relatively small things and you get told off (as if you are in school) for every little thing that might go wrong - usually by email - no matter how much you couldn’t know because you don’t habitually mind-read. And of course nothing is ever her fault, and I've been dreading opening my emails each day for quite a while.

Perhaps it’s best that I make a graceful exit from what was rather openly a stop-gap job that I took because I needed to? And perhaps soon before my self esteem gets ground down too much from being told off for my mistakenly not having mind-read properly or crossed my t’s with a nearly 85 degree angle rather than a 90 degree angle.

So the other night, I got fed up, and looked for vacant positions, and found one I could apply for that is exactly 3 days a week. Was worried for a while about moving on after such a short time, but then shitty thing # 2 above happened and I thought "screw that!". Am attempting to focus energy on positive smooth job transition vibes.

2 comments:

alison said...

Is she Cherman by any chance? It all sounds scarily familiar. And yes, it will start to run down your self-esteem. You definitely should move on if you can.
(says she who practically had stockholm syndrome with her last employer...)

alison said...

PS - I just read this elsewhere and came back to tell you:
"There's a fine line between a groove and a rut"