I grew up in a different state from my relatives. I got the odd letter from my grandparents and on occasion, from favoured Aunties. Many of Grandma's letters in particular I still have, because they make me laugh and remember what she was like. I think I got a present (nb - singular) for birthdays and Christmas. I don't really remember - it can't have been that important. We agreed amongst family that this would stop when we turned 18. I do remember (most ungratefully) that many of the clothes sent to me from interstate relos were really not my style (e.g. pink or disney), or were ill fitting (even then, I had broad shoulders and muscular legs).
So now I look at what is sent over to my son. He gets:
- multiple birthday presents from each set of grandparents and from each uncle (ie toys plus clothes)
- multiple Christmas presents from each set of grandparents and from each uncle
- and 3-5 parcels per year, for no apparent reason usually with 3-5 things for him
And, in his short life, he has accumulated:
- 50 gazillion matchbox cars, planes, helicopters*
- a sizable train set and more trains and carriages than he can fit on the track
- 5 teddy bears, plus another 10 or so soft toys
- 5-6 tip trucks
- Over 20 DVD's of TV series and kids movies
- Gazillions of baby toys, rattles, things to teethe with etc (which were about as interesting to him as a plastic bottle filled with dried rice or chickpeas).
- 2 and a half shelves of books (some of them my old books from when I was a kid, and includes Harry Potter, which we bought relatively recently, but still...)
- and much much more.
* more than my brother and I had combined by the time we were 8-9 years old.
So here is my conundrum. I'm trying to cut down the stuff we have, and not get things we don't need. I'm ashamed of all the stuff and clutter we have, yet I know most of the stuff we have isn't stuff we've bought. However, it's ungrategul to say you don't want the gifts you are given out of generosity and love. But did my Grandparents love me any less because they gave me less stuff? No, of course not.
One grandparent's view is that if we don't want something, we can get rid of it. Sounds simple, but in reality, it means:
- storing stuff somewhere to take to a charity bin (none very close to my place, and I keep forgetting, therefore have bags of stuff at home to get rid of).
- saving stuff somewhere to give away to closer friends when the time is right (again, I forget about them, and invariably find them a year later)
- throwing out perfectly good stuff in the trash (WASTE WASTE WASTE!)
- Videos - what do you do with them? Charities don't want them, e-bay maybe (I'd rather not go there), or garage sale (don't really have somewhere to do it).
All the above is fine when you have plenty of time and mobility, but we don't at the moment, having both of us working, and a toddler, and me pregnant. I would argue that them compulsively buying stuff makes them feel warm and fuzzy, helps them to express their feelings. At times the presents are thoughtful or something we don't have already, but much of the time, it is just more "stuff".**
I've told my mum many times not to give me clothes, because she never ever buys anything that I like (it was getting ridiculous - I had to say something to her bluntly in my early 20's ...), and when she gives me her old clothes, they are always in colours that she knows I never wear. Yet SHE STILL DOES IT to this day !! Getting hand-me-downs in general is fine, by the way, as I don't feel like resources are being wasted making them. But really - does anyone have the same taste in clothes as their mother? I suppose I should at least be grateful that she does shop in her local St Vinnes sometimes for clothes for E-chan rather than buying brand new. Babies sometimes wear things for 3 months or less before they grow out of them.
Anyway, I've tried dropping hints, discussing gently the possibility that presents are being given to make up for not being able to be living in the same city, and that while we appreciate that sentiment, it's way more than I was given as a kid, and I never felt like I went without. They agree. But as C-chan and I were talking about the other night, a lot of people acknowledge their behaviour, then keep on doing it. I also talk about trying to keep down the amount of "stuff" we have (particularly when we lived in the 2 br unit). But it falls on deaf ears. Except with my Father, who I know has similar feelings to me about buying stuff, but it's not him doing the buying, anyway.
I'm thinking maybe in future visits from the grandparents in particular, I'll get them involved with helping me get rid of all the stuff we don't need... But really, can people not control their urges to shop for new things all the time? Does loving your grandchild justify all the wasted resources? I know I should look more at my own buying behaviour more rather than worrying about theirs, but all this "stuff" is our problem to sort out too...
27 March 2009
11 March 2009
Watch this if you're planning on having a baby soonish...
http://news.sbs.com.au/insight/
Insight last night had a discussion about birthing and the system as is is here in Australia. A few women talked about how they were shoe-horned into a certain approach or procedure here in Asutralia, just because of the public/private system dichotomy, or the midwife vs obstetrician choice you may have to make. Well worth a look, and also features Claire Bowditch, who tried to have a home birth twice, but was thwarted, at first by the high cost (insurance), and second by having twins and feeling more comfortable in a hospital on her second delivery.
Also a lot of discussion about elective caesarians vs required ones, and the grey area in between where women are being told they need one, but aren't really sure they want to, and aren't really being given all the info they need to make an informed choice. Many first time mums go with whatever they're told has to happen, while it takes a more assertive mum-to-be to demand more information, question what they have been told, and actually seek second opinions - this is not how it should be.
Also, there isn't much flexibility to change tack part way down the process - ie to start off a preganancy with one approach (ie seeing a midwife) then switching to an Obstetrician down the track if you have a complication arise, whilst keeping your midwife on board. And there is a lack of continued care - ie obstetricians don't really know much about breastfeeding and routine neonatal issues, and you're "handed over" to local area midwives who are fantastic, but have no prior relationship to you.
I've only had 2 appointments with my Obst this pregnancy, and I chose to see an Obstetrician because of the complication I had last time, and the fact that a caesarian was flagged as a good idea by specialists after the injury I suffered giving birth. So far I haven't been given a lot of information about the complications around caesars, and much of what I know is from having talked to others who have had one, and reading Mermaidgrrrls blog.
So far our strategy is to pencil in a caesar, but have a scan at 36 weeks, see how the baby is going for size, and make a decision then. But I'm finding the idea of delivering vaginally is scarier for me still at the moment. I'm not sure if there is data on pelvis size to baby head size ratios and what the the likelihood is of another nerve injury, and there are other matters - every baby is different, mother's pelvises are more elastic second time around, girls tend to be smaller than boys, and second babies tend to be bigger etc.
But the risk to me of suffering a permanent leg injury that affects my ability to walk is getting more stressful rather than less stressful with time. And I haven't even begun to discuss the issues around the scarring I have from my last delivery either - info on this is non-existant in birthing books. I know caesars bring many complications, but perhaps it is the better option for me. After all, it will be a decision that could affect the rest of my life.... but it's not something I really want either - it's just the best option for me, I think.
Insight last night had a discussion about birthing and the system as is is here in Australia. A few women talked about how they were shoe-horned into a certain approach or procedure here in Asutralia, just because of the public/private system dichotomy, or the midwife vs obstetrician choice you may have to make. Well worth a look, and also features Claire Bowditch, who tried to have a home birth twice, but was thwarted, at first by the high cost (insurance), and second by having twins and feeling more comfortable in a hospital on her second delivery.
Also a lot of discussion about elective caesarians vs required ones, and the grey area in between where women are being told they need one, but aren't really sure they want to, and aren't really being given all the info they need to make an informed choice. Many first time mums go with whatever they're told has to happen, while it takes a more assertive mum-to-be to demand more information, question what they have been told, and actually seek second opinions - this is not how it should be.
Also, there isn't much flexibility to change tack part way down the process - ie to start off a preganancy with one approach (ie seeing a midwife) then switching to an Obstetrician down the track if you have a complication arise, whilst keeping your midwife on board. And there is a lack of continued care - ie obstetricians don't really know much about breastfeeding and routine neonatal issues, and you're "handed over" to local area midwives who are fantastic, but have no prior relationship to you.
I've only had 2 appointments with my Obst this pregnancy, and I chose to see an Obstetrician because of the complication I had last time, and the fact that a caesarian was flagged as a good idea by specialists after the injury I suffered giving birth. So far I haven't been given a lot of information about the complications around caesars, and much of what I know is from having talked to others who have had one, and reading Mermaidgrrrls blog.
So far our strategy is to pencil in a caesar, but have a scan at 36 weeks, see how the baby is going for size, and make a decision then. But I'm finding the idea of delivering vaginally is scarier for me still at the moment. I'm not sure if there is data on pelvis size to baby head size ratios and what the the likelihood is of another nerve injury, and there are other matters - every baby is different, mother's pelvises are more elastic second time around, girls tend to be smaller than boys, and second babies tend to be bigger etc.
But the risk to me of suffering a permanent leg injury that affects my ability to walk is getting more stressful rather than less stressful with time. And I haven't even begun to discuss the issues around the scarring I have from my last delivery either - info on this is non-existant in birthing books. I know caesars bring many complications, but perhaps it is the better option for me. After all, it will be a decision that could affect the rest of my life.... but it's not something I really want either - it's just the best option for me, I think.
Home and sick. Siiiiiiick....
I was surprised that we managed to go back to child care this year and avoid getting colds etc, saw may kids with green goozies hanging down from their nostrils, and thought "it's only a matter of time....". But alas, E-chan has avoided getting sick this year, and it's me that's somehow managed to come down with something. It's no surprise, as there is lots going on - our to-do list is never-ending it seems, and is making weekends busy.
We've had to buy a new fridge, because our old one is alternating between freezing things, and not being warm enough (despite the settings not being changed), is just about too small (and will certainly be come the end of July). Our poor little 10-year old fridge served us well through our DINKy days, moving states and moving house many times, but it's now time to upscale to the family sized version. I hope our new one lasts us much longer. Am looking forward to having more fridge space, and being able to freeze more leftovers, as our freezer didn't have much room for that once all the frozen peas etc took up their place, and I was beginning to be bugged by how much food was going off before we used it. What a waste! But the logistics of getting a new fridge - working out what has to be thrown out, what can survive a few hours unrefridgerated, what must stay frozen, and what will last in an esky bag with ice for a bit. Our neighbours have offered to help with some fridge space, which is handy.*
Also, I'm looking into buying us all non-plastic drink bottles (such as the stainless steel ones made by Ecotank, Earthlust, or Kleen Kanteen - they're quite hard to get, and you have to order them over the internet). I sometimes buy water in a plastic bottle, on the occasions when I forget to take my own drink and there is no water fountain, and I really don't like soft drinks, so even though I know I'm being ripped off, I'd rather drink water and pay for it. I reuse the bottle many times, but am beginning to be (more) concerned about plastics, the resource intensity of their production, their impact on the environment, and possible toxins. I also like a bottle by my bedside, so there are no annoying 3am spillages as I fumble around in the dark to have a drink of water. While I'm at it, I'm looking into baby bottles for baby #2 that are BPA-free. 6 fairly major brands have just announced they will release a BPA-free baby bottle range this year in the US (and at least one of them will release that range here too - hopefully in time for our bub) - yah to the consumer lobbyists who campaigned so long for this.
We had our 19-week ultrasound yesterday. Baby is displaying all the normal characteristics, with 1o digits on its hands and feet, normal size, normal heart etc, which is great news. Time soon to start going through all the teeny, tiny baby clothes and give away the ones we know we won't use this time around. Soon E-chan's big boy bed will arrive - he's currently on a single mattress on the floor, and we are gradually accumulating single bedlinen for him. The cot is now empty for next baby, and we're trying to sort out their room and the best configuration for the furniture.
On top of this, my allergies have returned, as I haven't been getting my desensitising shots for a few months, and my system needs another few years of the injections for the dust and pollen allergies to stop bothering me permanently. It seems the warm, humid weather we're having is dust-mite heaven. Am having to buy new dust covers for pillows and mattresses (all the old ones had worn out), and vacuum the floor and hot wash all the bedding ideally every week (more like 1.5 to 2 weeks) to kill off all the dust mites. It's good to realise my hayfever and asthma symptoms had amost gone while I was being desensitised, and once I have finished breastfeeding, I'll start on the shots again - definitely worthwhile not to be troubled with frequent runny noses and wheezes. The eczema, while also caused by food intolerances and detergent exposure, was also a bit milder while I had the shots.
So, going to have a rest now, and vege out....
*I'm sorry that this post is a bit of an "updating all my friends" kind of post. Feel free to tune out if you're bored by it...
We've had to buy a new fridge, because our old one is alternating between freezing things, and not being warm enough (despite the settings not being changed), is just about too small (and will certainly be come the end of July). Our poor little 10-year old fridge served us well through our DINKy days, moving states and moving house many times, but it's now time to upscale to the family sized version. I hope our new one lasts us much longer. Am looking forward to having more fridge space, and being able to freeze more leftovers, as our freezer didn't have much room for that once all the frozen peas etc took up their place, and I was beginning to be bugged by how much food was going off before we used it. What a waste! But the logistics of getting a new fridge - working out what has to be thrown out, what can survive a few hours unrefridgerated, what must stay frozen, and what will last in an esky bag with ice for a bit. Our neighbours have offered to help with some fridge space, which is handy.*
Also, I'm looking into buying us all non-plastic drink bottles (such as the stainless steel ones made by Ecotank, Earthlust, or Kleen Kanteen - they're quite hard to get, and you have to order them over the internet). I sometimes buy water in a plastic bottle, on the occasions when I forget to take my own drink and there is no water fountain, and I really don't like soft drinks, so even though I know I'm being ripped off, I'd rather drink water and pay for it. I reuse the bottle many times, but am beginning to be (more) concerned about plastics, the resource intensity of their production, their impact on the environment, and possible toxins. I also like a bottle by my bedside, so there are no annoying 3am spillages as I fumble around in the dark to have a drink of water. While I'm at it, I'm looking into baby bottles for baby #2 that are BPA-free. 6 fairly major brands have just announced they will release a BPA-free baby bottle range this year in the US (and at least one of them will release that range here too - hopefully in time for our bub) - yah to the consumer lobbyists who campaigned so long for this.
We had our 19-week ultrasound yesterday. Baby is displaying all the normal characteristics, with 1o digits on its hands and feet, normal size, normal heart etc, which is great news. Time soon to start going through all the teeny, tiny baby clothes and give away the ones we know we won't use this time around. Soon E-chan's big boy bed will arrive - he's currently on a single mattress on the floor, and we are gradually accumulating single bedlinen for him. The cot is now empty for next baby, and we're trying to sort out their room and the best configuration for the furniture.
On top of this, my allergies have returned, as I haven't been getting my desensitising shots for a few months, and my system needs another few years of the injections for the dust and pollen allergies to stop bothering me permanently. It seems the warm, humid weather we're having is dust-mite heaven. Am having to buy new dust covers for pillows and mattresses (all the old ones had worn out), and vacuum the floor and hot wash all the bedding ideally every week (more like 1.5 to 2 weeks) to kill off all the dust mites. It's good to realise my hayfever and asthma symptoms had amost gone while I was being desensitised, and once I have finished breastfeeding, I'll start on the shots again - definitely worthwhile not to be troubled with frequent runny noses and wheezes. The eczema, while also caused by food intolerances and detergent exposure, was also a bit milder while I had the shots.
So, going to have a rest now, and vege out....
*I'm sorry that this post is a bit of an "updating all my friends" kind of post. Feel free to tune out if you're bored by it...
03 March 2009
babe-alert
I'm currently notching up acquaintances of the newborn variety – they are all special of course, and I would have mentioned some of these earlier had I not been a bit flustered of late!
1) My new niece – Lena-chan, who was born in mid-January. First girl of the family, and absolutely lovely! I’d love to see and cuddle her, but will have to be content with images over the computer until either I can get my family to Japan or my brother can get his (now with 3 kids – argh!) here. Her big brother is being good and responsible, her middle brother doesn’t quite understand…
2) Young Isaac, dear first born of friends Angel and Dr J, who was born the next day. He is thriving and doing all the sorts of things newborns are supposed to do, and even went to sleep for a few hours when we were visiting on Saturday night so Mum and Dad could relax and enjoy dinner! Good boy!
3) Twins next door! My neighbour finally had her twin boys this morning, after a long gestation as far as twins are concerned (38 weeks!). Poor neighbours have been freaking out at the thought of having two of them – hope they manage to work out some sort of routine soon.
----------
We also have had a family with 3 kids recently move in over the corridor. They’re an academic family, accustomed to moving cities, and the Mum is a pragmatic type who gets to know her neighbours quickly so she has someone to ask about where to go for shopping, doctors etc etc. We also had a bizarre shared phone line (telco’s stuff up…) for a few days, and had to try to sort that out, which was weird, but another storey entirely. Only problem is they all have hard-to-pronounce Hebrew names. I’ve committed the parent’s names to memory, though.
Last night, their middle child (roughly 7 years old?) knocked on the door:
Child: Hello! Mom wants to know if we could borrow your can opener. We have one but it doesn’t work.I lent them the can opener and sent her on her way. 10 minutes later, knock on the door again:
Me: Sure
This is the first time anyone has ever knocked on our door and asked to borrow anything, and it’s kind of nice, actually. I’ve always thought people are over-cautious about intruding on privacy in inner-city areas (especially where renters move in and out of high density areas all the time). Sure you run the risk of interrupting something. But when I knock on my neighbours door, they always invite me in it seems – you wouldn’t do that if you are too busy… Our neighbours who just had twins were so worried about the noise their babies will make. I told them not to be silly – newborns are quiet compared to toddlers (I reckon), and we can’t hear through the walls anyway. I’d rather hear noise from babies or kids, than party music past 11pm, loud television noise, or power tools early or late in the day…Child: Hi. Mom wants me to say “thanks very much”
Me: Not a problem – tell her it’s fine!
For giggles...
Check out this link at the onion: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of
Made me giggle. I found this via Lavartus Prodeo.
Made me giggle. I found this via Lavartus Prodeo.
27 February 2009
What's more important? Global meltdowns of the financial or ice-shelf kind?
I seem to be becoming a regular reader of Crikey's Rooted Blog, which has an almost daily update on selected environmental issues of all kinds.
This latest post, by Greenpeace's John Hepburn expresses better than I could the frustration I feel about politicians who are dilly-dallying about whether or not to introduce some sort of carbon reduction scheme now or delay it yet again:
http://blogs.crikey.com.au/rooted/2009/02/27/financially-panicked-morally-bankrupt/
Also, can someone remind me what we actually have to do now Australia has signed the Kyoto Protocol?
This latest post, by Greenpeace's John Hepburn expresses better than I could the frustration I feel about politicians who are dilly-dallying about whether or not to introduce some sort of carbon reduction scheme now or delay it yet again:
http://blogs.crikey.com.au/rooted/2009/02/27/financially-panicked-morally-bankrupt/
Also, can someone remind me what we actually have to do now Australia has signed the Kyoto Protocol?
25 February 2009
What other parents don't tell you...
So back to toilet training. We had over three weeks of getting somewhere, going backwards and not ever seeming to make that full step into going to the potty on our own. While 3 weeks isn't really that long in the big scheme of things, we could see our little boy could technically go to the toilet fine (with a bit of help getting pants back on and things like that), he would never initiate it himself. Also, whenever he was asked if he needed to go, the answer was always "no", which it became obvious wasn't always the truth.
Result: we had to watch him like a hawk for signs that he was about to go, then somehow entice or convince him to go on the potty. It started to become a battle. It was nervewracking when we went out (e.g. to obstetrician), not knowing if he would pee on the carpet. Going back to nappies (except at night time) seemed like a backward step.
We knew what the problem was - he lacked motivation to do this of his own accord. He'd rather sit in a puddle and keep doing what he was doing than stop and go to the loo for a bit. We'd tried everything we could to encourage him - high five, praise, hugs, sticker charts, pointing out the habits of slighly older, toilet trained kids.... then the only advice we could get was "keep going with it, it will click", or "stop and try again in a few weeks". None of these felt like the right thing to do for us.
So we changed tack. After a visit to a friend's house where he had 3 accidents within 2 hours (despite having been asked moments before if he needed to go the toilet), I told him he couldn't visit his friends again until he stopped weeing on the floor and started using the potty properly. This sunk in pretty quick, and we saw some response. On Sunday, C-chan offered him a marshmallow if he used the potty!
"Oh dear!", we thought! "What are we doing?" What ideas are we instilling in him? BUT IT WORKED! He's taking himself off to the potty now where he wasn't before, and accidents have reduced to one a day at the most!! We don't give him sweets often, and we don't give him a marshmallow at breakfast or after dinner. We'll keep that up with the other strategies above, and gradually wean out the bribery as using the potty becomes commonplace. There are times already (just 4 days later) where he goes to the potty but doesn't ask for a marshmallow either.
So anyway, we felt a bit guilty for resorting to bribery, but last night I was talking to one of E-chan's friends mum. I told her about our strategy. "Oh, we used the marshmallow also! It was the only thing that worked in the end!". I had talked to her before about toilet training, and she never mentioned this! She must have felt guilty too! Then 2 more mums 'fessed up to using bribery in the end (smarties or whatever) to get their kids motivated to go to the toilet on their own. "It's the only way!" they all say - NOW.
Result: we had to watch him like a hawk for signs that he was about to go, then somehow entice or convince him to go on the potty. It started to become a battle. It was nervewracking when we went out (e.g. to obstetrician), not knowing if he would pee on the carpet. Going back to nappies (except at night time) seemed like a backward step.
We knew what the problem was - he lacked motivation to do this of his own accord. He'd rather sit in a puddle and keep doing what he was doing than stop and go to the loo for a bit. We'd tried everything we could to encourage him - high five, praise, hugs, sticker charts, pointing out the habits of slighly older, toilet trained kids.... then the only advice we could get was "keep going with it, it will click", or "stop and try again in a few weeks". None of these felt like the right thing to do for us.
So we changed tack. After a visit to a friend's house where he had 3 accidents within 2 hours (despite having been asked moments before if he needed to go the toilet), I told him he couldn't visit his friends again until he stopped weeing on the floor and started using the potty properly. This sunk in pretty quick, and we saw some response. On Sunday, C-chan offered him a marshmallow if he used the potty!
"Oh dear!", we thought! "What are we doing?" What ideas are we instilling in him? BUT IT WORKED! He's taking himself off to the potty now where he wasn't before, and accidents have reduced to one a day at the most!! We don't give him sweets often, and we don't give him a marshmallow at breakfast or after dinner. We'll keep that up with the other strategies above, and gradually wean out the bribery as using the potty becomes commonplace. There are times already (just 4 days later) where he goes to the potty but doesn't ask for a marshmallow either.
So anyway, we felt a bit guilty for resorting to bribery, but last night I was talking to one of E-chan's friends mum. I told her about our strategy. "Oh, we used the marshmallow also! It was the only thing that worked in the end!". I had talked to her before about toilet training, and she never mentioned this! She must have felt guilty too! Then 2 more mums 'fessed up to using bribery in the end (smarties or whatever) to get their kids motivated to go to the toilet on their own. "It's the only way!" they all say - NOW.
Reunions. Hmmm
So my position on high school reunions has pretty much been that of disinterest. I had a disastrous last year of high school socially in which I grew apart from just about all my friends (it was complex), couldn't found a crowd I fitted in, and had my sights fixed on my next year at Uni, where in enjoyed the idea of redefining myself AND meeting people who gave a shit about the same sort of stuff as me (fortunately, I met some lovely friends, amongst others not in the bloggosphere right at the beginning of Uni). An that is how my opinion stayed. My school had a 10-year reunion, and I wasn't really interested enough to make a special trip back to 'Delaide for it, so I sent my apologies and well wishings.
Then a friend sent me one of those Schmacebook invitations, and you kind of have to join up to see what it is. Then you see half your friends and family are already on Schmacebook. Then it kind of becomes a handy tool for keeping in touch with far flung friends and relatives. Then you find yourself joining a school based group in the off chance you might come across people you are interested in getting in touch with. Result (a) lots of annoying friend requests from people you later realise don't really want daily updates from but can't de-friend them without feeling bad (b) developing skills in politely messaging people back expressing vague interest in their well being, but not befriending them, and (c) the occasional instance where you are thrilled to be back in touch with an old school chum - ratbags you never really intended to lose touch with but somehow did.
Some in my school year are trying to arrange a spontaneous reunion because they decided they can't wait until the 20-year one in a few years time (eek), and have started an event site for it. Someone else posted photos from the 10 year reunion on it. So weird! Some people stay exactly the same in appearance, some change dramatically, some gain weight, some lose weight. There are people in those photos I haven't thought about since I left school. I can now sort of see the value in turning up for a night, having a few minutes of conversation with some people I remember fondly, then going back to my life. I like the idea of finding out that once awkward people are now comfortable with themselves, and that some people have been quietly doing amazing things. Kind of like watching the next installment of the 7-Up series of doco films.
But I am perfectly content to wait for the 20-year reunion for this, if I can make it.
Then a friend sent me one of those Schmacebook invitations, and you kind of have to join up to see what it is. Then you see half your friends and family are already on Schmacebook. Then it kind of becomes a handy tool for keeping in touch with far flung friends and relatives. Then you find yourself joining a school based group in the off chance you might come across people you are interested in getting in touch with. Result (a) lots of annoying friend requests from people you later realise don't really want daily updates from but can't de-friend them without feeling bad (b) developing skills in politely messaging people back expressing vague interest in their well being, but not befriending them, and (c) the occasional instance where you are thrilled to be back in touch with an old school chum - ratbags you never really intended to lose touch with but somehow did.
Some in my school year are trying to arrange a spontaneous reunion because they decided they can't wait until the 20-year one in a few years time (eek), and have started an event site for it. Someone else posted photos from the 10 year reunion on it. So weird! Some people stay exactly the same in appearance, some change dramatically, some gain weight, some lose weight. There are people in those photos I haven't thought about since I left school. I can now sort of see the value in turning up for a night, having a few minutes of conversation with some people I remember fondly, then going back to my life. I like the idea of finding out that once awkward people are now comfortable with themselves, and that some people have been quietly doing amazing things. Kind of like watching the next installment of the 7-Up series of doco films.
But I am perfectly content to wait for the 20-year reunion for this, if I can make it.
12 February 2009
Before and after bath shots
This is a real estate agent shot of our main bathroom, until a week or so ago. That - on the floor, behind the sink - is *supposed* to be a bath. A "Roman Bath", as if it wasn't just a tiled rectangular shower floor, and romans dressed in togas could actually sit around it and discuss politics. A glass screen blocks off the shower partition so that if you were prepared to use 5 million L of water, you could half fill it up, but not recline comfortably at all. These roman baths are the running joke of all the apartment owners in our block. We've been bathing our son in a blue plastic crate since we moved in.
This is our shiney new bath, baby! The blue tiles are no longer available, so we went with a retro multicoloured tile with similar colours to surround the bath. Last night, I gave it a wash down, and E-chan had his first bath in it. So, so much better than the blue crate, which he had refused to even sit in lately. And tonight's the night... I will have a bath of my own. [Note also plenty of ledge space for candles, books etc to perch on.]
In case you were left with any doubt...
...that southern Australia is warming, the BOM's report on the recent heatwave is summarised and paraphrased here. Yikes!
The Brave New Climate blog is written by Prof Barry Brook - Director of Climate Science at The Environment Institute, University of Adelaide.
The Brave New Climate blog is written by Prof Barry Brook - Director of Climate Science at The Environment Institute, University of Adelaide.
10 February 2009
Grotsky
I have started spilling food down my top again – I seem to remember having the same problem last time I was pregnant. However, my 15-week bump is hardly jutting out enough to excuse this yet.
Inferno
Along with everyone else, I have been horrified whilst following TV, internet and radio coverage of Victoria’s bushfires.
I was further horrified with people* writing drivel like this: “Our national character will emerge stronger from this disaster…” . I can’t really stand breakfast TV, but I did notice they sent the “big guns” (Kochie and Mel) down from Sydney to the Bushfire (as if Melbourne doesn’t have its own TV “personalities” to whom they could cross to, live…) Just like the media circus that went down to the sleepy Tasmanian town of Beaconsfield after the last National disaster we had. I don’t want to be insensitive so soon, but the only reason most of us will remember the date is that each year, the so called news networks will pull it up from their databases of anniversaries, and remind us that it happened a year, five, ten years ago, and they can pull up archive footage and use up a minute of the news bulletin instead of paying journalists to go out there and report on real news.
*Who are they?!! No explanation who this opinion piece was written by!
I am fortunate to have no loved ones or friends (that I know of) who are affected by these fires. I’ve met the odd person over the years who had properties burnt in SA’s Ash Wednesday fires.
But this whole experience has been bringing back memories for my Mother, who was just starting her nursing training when Hobart had devastating fires in 1967. She remembers the injuries and burns of the patients admitted to hospital, and parts of the city grinding to a halt… power cuts… the damaged electric tram lines never to run again and instead replaced by buses. My Nanna’s sister lived on the city’s outskirts on an orchard. At one stage she was literally running away from a fire with 2 little ones in tow, and her family lost their house and everything in it and their orchard. It took 3 days before my Nanna and Poppa could get down there to see if they were alive. They lived in a packing shed for 18 months while their town rebuilt. It took Mt Wellington a long time to look post-card pretty again.
I was further horrified with people* writing drivel like this: “Our national character will emerge stronger from this disaster…” . I can’t really stand breakfast TV, but I did notice they sent the “big guns” (Kochie and Mel) down from Sydney to the Bushfire (as if Melbourne doesn’t have its own TV “personalities” to whom they could cross to, live…) Just like the media circus that went down to the sleepy Tasmanian town of Beaconsfield after the last National disaster we had. I don’t want to be insensitive so soon, but the only reason most of us will remember the date is that each year, the so called news networks will pull it up from their databases of anniversaries, and remind us that it happened a year, five, ten years ago, and they can pull up archive footage and use up a minute of the news bulletin instead of paying journalists to go out there and report on real news.
*Who are they?!! No explanation who this opinion piece was written by!
I am fortunate to have no loved ones or friends (that I know of) who are affected by these fires. I’ve met the odd person over the years who had properties burnt in SA’s Ash Wednesday fires.
But this whole experience has been bringing back memories for my Mother, who was just starting her nursing training when Hobart had devastating fires in 1967. She remembers the injuries and burns of the patients admitted to hospital, and parts of the city grinding to a halt… power cuts… the damaged electric tram lines never to run again and instead replaced by buses. My Nanna’s sister lived on the city’s outskirts on an orchard. At one stage she was literally running away from a fire with 2 little ones in tow, and her family lost their house and everything in it and their orchard. It took 3 days before my Nanna and Poppa could get down there to see if they were alive. They lived in a packing shed for 18 months while their town rebuilt. It took Mt Wellington a long time to look post-card pretty again.
09 February 2009
Toilet training
E-chan started toilet training on Thursday. It was a hot day, he spent a few hours with no clothes on in the morning, and I thought, well, why not give it a go? I had 4 days in a row with him, and I'm feeling a lot more energetic and prepared to go 'round mopping up messes.
So first day we went 5 hours, the second a bit longer, the third longer still, and yesterday, from dusk until dawn PLUS a visit to the pool and shopping centre sans nappy. He's doing well. He seems to have gotten a grasp for knowing when he needs to do #2's, and by yesterday, we seemed to be able to hold on for around a minute once he told us he needed to do wees. So proud of him! He's off to kindy today - hope it goes as well there, but he'll have less one-on-one attention...
One of the best things is our nappy usage has dropped substantially to one a day. This feels good. Another thing of note is all the little boy undies on the clothes line!! And his clothes-on shape has transitioned from toddler with extra nappy padding around the middle, to little boy!
And my final point on this post is that toilet training is not just about the kid learning - it's training us parents. You have to listen to your child carefully. After 4 days, experience says that if we ask E-chan if he needs to go, and he says "no", he means it (wasn't always the case with nappies for some reason - perhaps he didn't want to have to stop what he was going and go upstairs to have a nappy change...?). Also, if you're busy and you hear "oops" or "I do wee wee" (meant as "I'm about to do wee"), you have to have everything at hand and be ready to drop everything and go help. And going out... you need to consider toilet facilities, whether or not to take a potty, and if you do.... forward planning. It's a bit like having a newborn again!
So first day we went 5 hours, the second a bit longer, the third longer still, and yesterday, from dusk until dawn PLUS a visit to the pool and shopping centre sans nappy. He's doing well. He seems to have gotten a grasp for knowing when he needs to do #2's, and by yesterday, we seemed to be able to hold on for around a minute once he told us he needed to do wees. So proud of him! He's off to kindy today - hope it goes as well there, but he'll have less one-on-one attention...
One of the best things is our nappy usage has dropped substantially to one a day. This feels good. Another thing of note is all the little boy undies on the clothes line!! And his clothes-on shape has transitioned from toddler with extra nappy padding around the middle, to little boy!
And my final point on this post is that toilet training is not just about the kid learning - it's training us parents. You have to listen to your child carefully. After 4 days, experience says that if we ask E-chan if he needs to go, and he says "no", he means it (wasn't always the case with nappies for some reason - perhaps he didn't want to have to stop what he was going and go upstairs to have a nappy change...?). Also, if you're busy and you hear "oops" or "I do wee wee" (meant as "I'm about to do wee"), you have to have everything at hand and be ready to drop everything and go help. And going out... you need to consider toilet facilities, whether or not to take a potty, and if you do.... forward planning. It's a bit like having a newborn again!
05 February 2009
Themes for the week
Mozzies!
Yargh! I’ve had enough of them interrupting my sleep! It’s bad enough that it’s hot, and that my bladder capacity is fast shrinking, requiring me to get up at least once a night!
Financial crises.
I’m too upper middle class to be affected by this yet. But I do hear 2nd hand accounts of layoffs. So at this stage the saturated media coverage of financial crises is a bit tiring. All the signs are there that things are going to get worse for us affluent westies, but the symptoms haven’t really kicked in. But this is bigger than just coping with different economic times – this goes hand in hand with all of us learning to be more resourceful, managing with less, leaving a smaller footprint, and we should be doing this anyway.
However, I know a recession doesn’t bite everyone a little bit – a chunk of the population will be just fine, a majority of the population will cut back on luxuries or hold off on major expenses, and a chunk of the population will sink into or remain in poverty. See Beesharp's latest post for more discussion on this and associated comments...
Kids.
I live for when it’s time to go pick up my little boy at the end of work days. He’s loving Kindy this year, and has moved up a year from the nursery to “K1”, where he gets a smaller group with other kids between 2-3, but also the chance to mix with older kids during unstructured play times. I have to say I’m loving our child care centre too – it seems to be the right place for my child at the right time, and all the staff seem really good, and there are parents there I want to make friends with. I have no complaints, whereas I do hear them from some parents with kids at other centres.
Last week I went to pick up E-chan, and we sat down as he finished his afternoon tea and a drink of water. Another slightly older kid sat next to us, and I noticed he had a cool UFO kiddy watch on:
Me: That’s a nice watch!
Kid: Yeah – my mum gave it to me.
Me: can you tell the time on it?
Kid: Yes
Me: ! [momentarily impressed]
Kid: When the big hand gets to here [points at the “10”], it means it’s half past the hour, and this here [points to the “11”] is the equals sign.
Me: Oh really?!
Kid: Mmmmm.
My hit single...
Last night I dreamed up a song. In my dream, it was a hit 70's Cher song (!), but when I woke up this morning, I realised the song isn't one I've actually heard before (I think), and I just may have composed a song in my sleep. This puts me up there with Paul McCartney and others who dreamed up hit singles. Except mine isn't a hit single. And all I remembered when I woke up was 2 lines of it, and the words didn't make sense. And now I've forgotten it entirely....
Bun in the oven
Am now beginning to get moments when I don’t feel sick/full-bellied/tired/full-bladdered, and I momentarily forget I’m pregnant. Then – “that’s right, there’s another baby in my belly!”. It’s a nice thing to remember. I’m beginning to show, but I don’t think you can see it unless you know what you’re looking for, and I’m wearing a tight top.
Yargh! I’ve had enough of them interrupting my sleep! It’s bad enough that it’s hot, and that my bladder capacity is fast shrinking, requiring me to get up at least once a night!
Financial crises.
I’m too upper middle class to be affected by this yet. But I do hear 2nd hand accounts of layoffs. So at this stage the saturated media coverage of financial crises is a bit tiring. All the signs are there that things are going to get worse for us affluent westies, but the symptoms haven’t really kicked in. But this is bigger than just coping with different economic times – this goes hand in hand with all of us learning to be more resourceful, managing with less, leaving a smaller footprint, and we should be doing this anyway.
However, I know a recession doesn’t bite everyone a little bit – a chunk of the population will be just fine, a majority of the population will cut back on luxuries or hold off on major expenses, and a chunk of the population will sink into or remain in poverty. See Beesharp's latest post for more discussion on this and associated comments...
Kids.
I live for when it’s time to go pick up my little boy at the end of work days. He’s loving Kindy this year, and has moved up a year from the nursery to “K1”, where he gets a smaller group with other kids between 2-3, but also the chance to mix with older kids during unstructured play times. I have to say I’m loving our child care centre too – it seems to be the right place for my child at the right time, and all the staff seem really good, and there are parents there I want to make friends with. I have no complaints, whereas I do hear them from some parents with kids at other centres.
Last week I went to pick up E-chan, and we sat down as he finished his afternoon tea and a drink of water. Another slightly older kid sat next to us, and I noticed he had a cool UFO kiddy watch on:
Me: That’s a nice watch!
Kid: Yeah – my mum gave it to me.
Me: can you tell the time on it?
Kid: Yes
Me: ! [momentarily impressed]
Kid: When the big hand gets to here [points at the “10”], it means it’s half past the hour, and this here [points to the “11”] is the equals sign.
Me: Oh really?!
Kid: Mmmmm.
My hit single...
Last night I dreamed up a song. In my dream, it was a hit 70's Cher song (!), but when I woke up this morning, I realised the song isn't one I've actually heard before (I think), and I just may have composed a song in my sleep. This puts me up there with Paul McCartney and others who dreamed up hit singles. Except mine isn't a hit single. And all I remembered when I woke up was 2 lines of it, and the words didn't make sense. And now I've forgotten it entirely....
Bun in the oven
Am now beginning to get moments when I don’t feel sick/full-bellied/tired/full-bladdered, and I momentarily forget I’m pregnant. Then – “that’s right, there’s another baby in my belly!”. It’s a nice thing to remember. I’m beginning to show, but I don’t think you can see it unless you know what you’re looking for, and I’m wearing a tight top.
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