15 September 2010

Social compatability

I went out for a friend's birthday at a restaurant on Friday night. An adult party for a change! My better half was sick so he stayed home with the kids.

I (re) met someone I'd usually met before on a more - well - family setting (ie usually at kids parties or at playgroupy things), and he too was there without his partner.

He was the sort of person I don't usually warm to, and I have to say, I feel the lack of warmth coming straight back at me. I don't really know how to describe this sort of person, and these are of course just superficial observations, but they're usually blokey (but saying that, there are many blokey men I do like), are not very interested in talking about anything vaguely intellectual (or to me, interesting), conform mostly to more traditional male stereotypes, homophobic, and behave differently depending on whether their girlfriend/spouse is about. The last one is the one that sets of the biggest alarm bells for me - if they can't be themselves around their partners or their friends, how can you trust them? (Note to friends: this is not the bit where you tell me I have exactly described how my own partner is when I am not around! ...anyway, I wouldn't believe you, he's too into books and hates talking about sport).

So who did I end up talking to? Well there were a few other people I already know socially and I chatted to them, but the new person I introduced myself to was a Tim Minchen look-alike (but with proper dreads), with grungey clothing, who is a stay-at-home Dad to a 1-year-old and his older step daughter, and has read widely on child psychology and development. Cool.

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