Negotiating technique #3 - the leapfrog

This technique is best tried by only the quickwitted, but may work on average speed wits if you have had lots of coffee that morning. It is useful for finding out things that you are not necessarily meant to know.

Prepare by taking snippets of conversations you have had with a certain person you work with on a certain critical task. Work these up in your mind, and imagine the worst possible scenario. Imagine things collapsing in a big heap, and that everyone you work with has a sub-normal level of competence. At the same time, meditate, and achieve the mindset that you alone are the sole expert on this particular matter.

Begin by suddenly appearing behind the person's desk, and request that they "come and speak to you for a sec", and walk off before they can answer "no, actually...". (Startlement and interruption is important for setting the mood of your negotiation).

Start to question them with a series of indirect questions - at no stage should the person see at once what you are actually trying to find out. If their answers are not giving you what you need, this is where you employ the fully fledged leapfrog. Latch onto anything the person says that you can, and make the conversation tangential. Bring up any past failures you can think of (theirs personally, or those of others involved with the project), and imply that the same thing is happening again. If nothing critical is divulged, change the topic again, and repeat. Watch as the person gets more and more exasperated by your sudden changes in topic and systematic wearing down of their self-confidence.

With luck, they will have by now told you what you want to know. If not, wind down the conversation, and start to look busy with something else - the person will get the hint and leave the room.

Sapien watch (1)

This week I witnessed a curious phenomenon in a fellow human being. I don't know what to call the condition, at this stage... maybe something will come later.

Said human being had made a pertinent point at a (rather badly chaired) meeting, then the discussion continued on. I had nothing to add to the discussion, and rather hoped we could just move on to the next agenda item. I looked around to see what other people were feeling about the situation. Pertinent point guy was no longer speaking, but sat there, silently mouthing words and tipping his head as if he was speaking.

I have no idea if he was reliving his moment (in which he made a valid point, but unfortunatley didn't conclude the mindnumbingly boring discusion), or if he was rehearsing for a future conversation he was anticipating having with someone.

Merry Risa channels Thelma

Well, I seem to have kicked that cold, but only after a whole weekend of doing stuff-all. Good I suppose.

A funny thing happened on Friday. Was having a conversation with someone Senior, to use the phraseology of the day (thanks BSharp). It was a hot day, and we happened to be in an unairconditioned office. Mid-sentence, my contact lens fell right off my eye. Both of us had to stop talking and scrounge around on the floor looking for it, just like Thelma from Scooby Doo when she had her glasses knocked off!

Found the lens, and held it on my finger, only to find that to my horror, senior person picked right up with the cross-purposed and conclusion-leaping conversation. After about 10 minutes of holding the lens on my finger right in front of senior person, I had to interrupt and tell him that if I didn't clean it and put it back on soon, the lens would dry out. "Of course, of course!"

Ah - cheers. To Life and all it throw at us....

WOE is ME!

Feeling sorry for self as have caught cold! (sniff)

Cold has caused me to miss a birthday party (boo hoo), miss going swimming (again), and have little energy to do anything much (boo). Cold came on on Friday night (boo). On the up side, have slept 15 hours yesterday (yay), found some lonzenges that actually seem to have an effect (yay), watched the Brits fight the Gerries in an afternoon war movie (hoorah!), have had my brow mopped by nurse C-chan (yay) whose expertise in the area of my cold is enhanced by the fact that he is coming out the tail end of the exact same cold.

Will I ever rise again? Only time will tell.

It's all in your jeans...

My current pair of jeans is wearing out.

Last time I bought a pair of jeans, it was astoundingly easy… I went into the store, found some jeans that were the same style number as last time, tried on the same size and they fitted! Better still, they had some jeans that were not only my size, but my length, which saved me from having to get the jeans altered to fit my shorter-than-average legs. “Fantastic!” I thought! They are now making shorter length jeans, and next time I buy jeans, I can go and buy this exact style and I’ll be able to practically walk out of the shop with them on. I was thrilled, having never had this happen to me before. I have spent the past 2 or so years content in the knowledge that jeans-shopping would never be hard ever again.

But I was sadly wrong…I recently went to jeans store and sought out “my” correct jeans style. First worry - they looked different. After a check with the shop assistant, this particular style of jeans had:
- changed style (despite keeping the same number) to be much higher-waisted
- no longer came in shorter length
- no longer came with button fly option

The first feelings of panic set in. I pushed aside memories of teenage clothes shopping traumas, and decided to try them on anyway, ignoring stick thin shop assistants’ suggestion that I might like to try the larger size. The jeans that had so easily covered my curves 2 years ago now pushed things in where they shouldn’t be and were dreadfully uncomfortable (and no, I haven’t put on weight). Looking at other jeans shops for next couple of hours was fruitless – could not find jeans that flattered me and were a nice colour and style (let alone length). It seems the style of jeans that suits me is no longer in style. Where does that leave me for the next fashion cycle, I wonder?

Most probably jean-less. I think I’m going to explore other options for my casual lower-half outer wear. But my search does raise a few (I think) pertinent questions:

Why would a common brand of jeans give a style of jeans an easily remembered number, only to change that style every couple of years anyway, removing the usefulness of the number? Why not make it clear you are bringing out an entirely new range of styles?

Why do clothing chains uses the word “Jean” in their title as if they are a one-stop-jean-shop, yet mostly sell tops, shorts and skirts, and not cater for the full range of body shapes and leg lengths in their jean range?

How does anyone sit down comfortably wearing high-waisted jeans?

C-chan and Merry Risa's christmas road trip to Adelaide

or - "There and back again..."

The drive there...
Within an hour of leaving home, we witnessed a bizarre smash on the road, in which a car careened into the back of a semi @ 120kph (prob'ly asleep at the wheel) and the semi went on driving as if he didn't even know he'd been hit. This did much to unsettle our poor nerves, and meant that we had to set aside our new Burt Bacharach compilation for a few hours until happy music seemed appropriate again. The first day was v eventful, with bibical scale locust plagues, cows on the road, Ruth Rendell CD-novel murder mysteries, and temperatures in the high 30's as we made our way to Mildura for the first night .

Arrive at the city of churches and after many family reunions, we start to slide into holiday mode. Went to Victor Harbour, relaxed in a pool, on the tennis court, played with nephew, caught up with brother and Mi-chan, and incredible shrinking parents (parents have both been losing weight).

Back to 'delaide for much to-ing and fro-ing between parents' houses, allergic reactions to pets and dust on sofa beds, and poor communication between all parties about what is going on, when. (We are going to stay in Siddonee for Christmas this year, we've decided). Watched tense, Mother/daughter-in-Law dynamics evolve everywhere we looked. My god, why can’t mother-in-laws let partner/wife of their sons do things their way and accept it as being “different” rather than “wrong”? Why do people lose their ability to put "issues" in perspective where extended families are concerned? I guess it's one of those things that will never change.

The nephew...
Oh how cute yet exhausting. Best moments include:
- nephew bowing (Japanese style) at mannequin dressed as airline pilot outside travel agent
- 5 fully grown adults dancing to ABBA at 11pm in effort to wear out 20 month old, but only suceeding in wearing selves out.
- look of pure delight on his face has he has his first proper swim in the ocean @ Balmoral. Didn't want to get out, despite lips going blue.

I have decided that being an Auntie is fun – you get to try out being a parent, without the full responsibility (no nappy changing). Can act like a silly git, and most of the time a sub-two-year-old will laugh at you adoringly.

Home again, home again, jiggeldy jig!
Drive back home was uneventful, save a spectacularly stuffed up pub meal, in which…

Meal took over an hour to produce, despite there being only 2 other parties in the dining area. Our 2 steak sandwiches somehow got served to someone else, who apparently didn’t realize it wasn’t their lamb cutlets and chicken kiev (how???). Waitress looked extremely stressed, and offered us the latter meals, which was not a good compromise given the lamb cutlets were DEEP FRIED (I kid you not), and so possibly was the Chicken Kiev (although it could have been bathed in oil before baking).

Things now getting ridiculously late, embarrassing and irritating (staff had no skills to deal with mixed up orders), we asked for part of our money back and took the chicken, thinking we could at least cut the chicken out from greasey casing. But we were WRONG WRONG WRONG!! C-chan cut into it, and grease poured out, putting at risk the only remaining edible foods on the dish (cauliflower cheese, chips, carrot, baked potato). Ate what we could and snuck out the side door….

Crap Editorial alert!!!

Shame on this person for writing trash like this:

"Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution
may be to blame."

A new study by psychology researchers at the
University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going
for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than
women who are supervisors.

What defeatist, unbalanced drivel. How come most of the men I know who are married wouldn't settle for anything less than a woman who they find intellectually inspiring? One could easily argue, from reading historical novels or biographies, that there ahs always been part of the male population who has sought intellectually inspiring women as partners. Why didn't author bother to interview these types of people? How can someone go to a dinner party and meet one successful woman who can't meet any decent men, see a few films along the same theme, and use this as a basis for writing a story as if it is a statistically proven trend?

Bah! Someone alert Media Watch!

A small thing to get off my chest...

Sometimes I get cc’d in on emails in which I am the only female, and the first line is addressed: “Good afternoon, Gentlemen,”.

How rude is that? If you’re going to be all formal, is it that hard to insert “and Lady” at the end of your sentence?? Have not, to date, paid these particular men back with an email commencing with “good afternoon, Ladies”. I know I should make a witty comment about the somewhat dubious title of honorary bloke that seems to have been thrust upon me, but when? where? and will it be taken the wrong way by the generally male industry partners who are so generously funding our research?!! I usually end up getting on with things after a minute of private fuming! Think I’m possibly better off aspiring to be a competent female in a male dominated field who lets comments like that slide off her… BUT JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME, IT GIVES ME THE S*&%$S!!

Resolutions - 2005

Here are the new years resolutions that I care to publish for potentially all to see:

1. Give up wine (red and white) and potentially beer
I have confirmed over the festive period a direct link between wine consumption and ill effects (other than those traditionally attributed to alcohol). So this year, I say “no” to the most socially acceptable drink, and try to stick to drinks that I can safely drink (vodka, whisky, gin), despite the odd remark about going “straight to the hard stuff”!! (Puhlease!). As for beer, I’m just going to have to test that out…

2. Undertake at least 2 projects unrelated to work
I won’t jinx it by telling you what they are…

3. More dinner parties
It’s well and truly time to get back into the experimental cooking.

4. Remember birthdays of all friends and immediate family (incl Grandparents) and be more regular with correspondence/catching up
New address book (xmas present!!) that includes birth date section should make this easier. Will be throwing away old address books and consolidating all 3 household address books into one!

5. Reduce plastic bag usage to zero

6. Read more and watch less television

**Coming soon** – retrospective holiday journal – for those of you were wondering what we were up to when we should have been sending out our Christmas cards….

merry xmas from merry risa

Just getting in first before anyone else can use the name for a pun at this time of year (again). It tends to work, except with complete strangers.

Well, we're off on Sat'dy morn... road trip halfway across the country in our li'l car. First night - Mildura, land of oranges, grapes and dried fruit. We're all prepared with music compilations, books on CD, and many things to discuss.

Until 2005, signing off.

Flying high....

Yesterday I went on my kind of regular trip to Narrabri, NSW. This requires getting up at 5:30am for a 7am flight, which is bad enough. But the way home is a 2-leg trip, dropping passengers at Moree, before the final leg back to Sidonee arriving 9:30pm.

During the day, there was a spectacular subtropical storm front – the sort that rolls in quickly towards you from the horizon, makes the sky really dark, and the lightning flashes all around. Afterwards, the already sodden ground was covered in puddles that the already saturated clayey soil just couldn’t take in (for those unenthused, this is exciting stuff when your city has been in drought for a few years...).

The aeroplane – a 36-seater, 2 propeller thing – took off amidst the continued rain and electrical storm. Soon after, things got a bit turbulent. People took it with amazingly good fortune – sharp drops in altitude were met with excited “ahhhh!” and “woooooo!” noises, as if we were on the Mad Mouse. After being jolted suddenly to the left, up and down repeatedly with a few successive sudden drops in altitude, I began to wonder how long we could keep suddenly dropping in altitude without coming dangerously close to the ground!

But enough. Those thoughts are hardly helpful! But I did wonder how everyone else could manage to continue to treat this like a scary show ride… I suspect it’s the “you might as well laugh, otherwise you’d cry or be sick!” mentality. Another sobering thing at this point was that the person next to me was beginning to turn up his air vent, and rummage around for his sick bags. He didn’t find one. I checked and had two, and gave him one quickly. The journey continued like this for the whole flight which should have been 25 minutes, but I’m sure took far longer. Unlike my poor companion, I wasn’t sick several times, but I did use my bag to breathe into to mitigate mild symptoms of hyperventilation.

They grounded us for 1.5 hours in Moree airport, and we all did our best to recover, while being subjected to American game show, followed by American detective show, and finally American cop show. I watched in apprehension as a teenage boy wolfed down milk and biscuits at the airport, while the rain and lightening raged on outside.

Finally, we were off on the home leg of the journey, estimated to arrive home 2hrs late. Being a longer flight than the last, we were able to cruise above the clouds, and divert our journey inland to avoid much of the storm. The first 15 minutes were bad (more people reaching for the plastic-lined bags, including milk and biscuit boy), but much of the rest of the journey was quiet enough for a snooze.

This flight is now knocks my 2001 flight from Mildura to Melbourne off my “most harrowing flight” list.

Word for the day...

con·nip·tion n. Informal

A fit of violent emotion, such as anger or panic. Also called conniption fit.

A colleague used this (not referring to me!!), and I hadn’t the foggiest idea what it meant until I looked it up. Seems to be a useful word - am storing it for use at Christmas, as conniptions seem to be common in my family!!


On Rotation…

Food:
nectarines, mangoes, strawberries, mangoes, bananas, mangoes.

CD’s:
Skylarking - XTC;
Music for Airports - Brian Eno;
Aether - The Necks;
His’n’Hers - Pulp;
The Very Best of Elvis Costello

Books:
The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde
Love in the time of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marques

Skirts:
Every skirt I am wearing seems to be rotating around on me. Mildly irritating in some cases, close to a fashion faux pas in other cases (splits rotated around 180 deg to the front or side). Not sure what is causing this… Am I normal?

Iron woman

Well that’s probably taking it a bit too far.

But, I am going in a 2.3 km swim around Cockatoo Island this Sundy Morn.

Wish me luck. I’ll make it to the end, no worries, but it’s the harbour water and what’s in it that worries me most….

Check your ethics

For years, everyone except perhaps the most macrobiotic dieters among us have been thinking “what could possibly be wrong with taking vitamin tablets? It can only be good for you, right?” The so called health industry has been raving about antioxidants…. Fruits and veges have lots of them, therefore the logical conclusion was made by many that these compounds compressed into a pill for you to take can only make you healthier...

Not necessarily. See linked article.

This article highlights the problem of fully private funded research, and how some companies are (likely to be) keeping certain results commercial-in-confidence whilst releasing research that is in their favour. Products are probably out there despite the fact that there may be unpublished data showing that a product is not effective or even detrimental to the circumstances it claims to improve. Disturbing when it's your health they're messing with....

This is why we can’t entirely trust the private sector to fund all of our research. But even in a society where we have both govt and privately supported research, how do we ensure that companies are acting in the interests of the health of the community, without totally removing any competitive advantage they might rightfully gain from funding their own research…??